Since 2020 began, so 14 days ago, Impact Wrestling have graced us with 3 episodes and a PPV. Which means 4 reviews in 10 days for your dear friend. The Nygma is Hard to Kill, well, but a little tired… Talking about the PPV, Hard of Kill, this episode happens just 2 days after history was made. Out of a good PPV emerged a new Queen for the Impact Kingdom. Ferocious eyes are already looking at the belt she is proudly wearing around her belt with desire and greed. Men, and also women…
On the menu this week, from New York City, NYC, TJP and Daga will face The Rascalz, Reno Scum and The Desi Hit Squad. Moose, Fallah Bahh and Eddie Edwards will try to grab the precious X-Division title out of Ace Austin’s hands. The King of Dick Flip Joey Ryan will face off Johnny Swinger. We’ll also hear about Tessa Blanchard’s win. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
Don Callis and Josh Matthews welcomed us from studios. Matches were taped as Hard To Kill dark matches. I won’t describe the highlights of the PPV as usual.
- The Desi Hit Squad (Mahabali Shera & Rohit Raju) defeated the Rascalz (Wentz & Dez), Reno Scum (Luster & Adam) and TJP & Daga.
- Moose cut a promo. He proved two days ago that the word “Gore” is irrelevant and he’s the walking legend. Tonight, he’s going to prove again he’s the greatest multi-sport athlete of all time when he beats three other competitors.
- Ace Austin was on the phone, talking wife swapping. He was happy of his win.
- We saw footages of Rich Swann’s injury at Bash at the Brewery 2, which left him out of the PPV, and of him praising Mack after Hard To Kill match. Mack felt he let Swann down, and Swann refused to listen to this bullshit. He praised Mack and said to relive this moment down the line to feel better because Mack is the man. When he’s healthy, they will take those tag team titles.
- Eddie Edwards said tonight he’s going to continue his winning ways. His trophy ensures his path back to Championship gold.
- We saw footage of Michael Elgin in Japan, working for NOAH. He faced Nakajima and picked up a win. He said he wants Championships and will come for revenge on Edwards.
- Rob Van Dam was in a bed full of roses. He has a lot of money, a girlfriend who has a girlfriend. Fans live as vicariously through him, that’s always been like that. Katie Forbes felt too dressed. We saw kisses, cream on nipples and four feet out of the sheets.
- Ken Shamrock commented on his PPV win, which went according to plan. He praised Fulton’s skills but says he out game-planned him. Fulton’s mistake was being with Sami, and he won’t find his potential as long as he’s with him.
- Joey Ryan defeated Johnny Swinger.
- From House of Hardcore, Ace Austin defeated Moose, Fallah Bahh and Eddie Edwards.
- We got footage of Tessa Blanchard celebrating after her title win with family, wrestlers, and Impact officials. We saw Tessa crying backstage as D’Amore put her over.
- Josh Mathews interviewed Tessa Blanchard over her Impact World Championship title victory. Sami Callihan interrupted and said The Draw has been thinking. He is the only history-maker in Impact Wrestling. History showed he was the one who showed up unannounced and pumped blood into the company’s dead carcass. “Congratulations Tessa. You got her as the face of the company, but Sami Callihan is the champion that everybody needs.” He said he’s not going to stop, and he’s going to come at her with everything he’s got. Tessa said it’s over, she’ll fight him anywhere any time. The Champ went looking for The Death Machine. He showed up on another screen in the production area, saying he will appear outta’ nowhere and she won’t see him coming.
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– X-Division Champion Ace Austin vs Fallah Bahh vs Moose vs Eddie Edwards
They all brawled at the bell, Moose delivered strikes and chops and then a run-up high cross. Edwards cut him off with an overhead belly to belly. Ace cut him off and Moose dumped Ace. Bahh was back in and Moose delivered strikes, Bahh rallied and he followed with chops. Moose strangled the eyes, they traded clotheslines and worked into a double down. Edwards rolled back in and Ace joined him but ate strikes. Edwards followed with chops on Bahh and then Moose as he machinegun-chopped them all in the corner. He dumped Ace onto Moose, Bahh topped his dive and Bahh hit a suicide dive. Edwards headed up top and followed with a high cross onto the pile. Post break, back in, Edwards was cut off by Ace, but Edwards countered back into the backpack stunner.
Bahh in took out Ace and hit some corner splashes to Edwards and Ace. Moose attacked, hit dropkicks and dumped Ace. He took Bahh up top and the superplex connected. Ace hit a Swanton and the Trouble in Paradise on Edwards. Moose cut him off, Edwards attacked, Bahh joined in as it broke down. Moose hit a spear as everyone was down. Post break, we had Moose and Edwards trading chops. They lit each other up, head butt by Moose, and the lariat followed. Ace joined in, lit up Moose with kicks until Bahh cut him off. Moose stopped the Banzai drop, Boston knee party by Edwards that Bahh cut him off with a powerbomb. Ace hit the Fold on Bahh off the ropes and retained.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
Rob Van Dam, his girlfriend and his girlfriend’s girlfriend celebrated in a bed. They had cream, he had no robe… Do I have to add something?
The Lollipop and Baby-Oil Nygmalicious Moment of The Week
The Ayatollah of Dong ‘N’ Rolla was magnificent when he shut up Johnny Swinger. What lies in this underwear can break a hand, an arm, and even a cranium. The King of the Lollipop is unique. The one that will see any kind of vulgarity in what happened in the ring will probably never be my friend. Sorry for you…
The Nygma’s Award of the Week
This man is a weapon of mass destruction. He decimated 3 teams nearly on his own. Since his comeback to Impact Wrestling, Shera has been absolutely impressive and propelled the Desi Hit Squad to the top. 2020 will be his year.
Lockdown will return live on Impact Plus on Saturday, March 28, at St. Clair College in Windsor, Ontario. The last time Lockdown aired was in January 2016 in London. This event is all about steel cage matches, how to escape from it, how to fight into it, and mostly how to get out of it alive.
– Sami Callihan
Of course, he would have not let down like that… Sami lost a battle but not a war. He is decided to stalk Tessa, to make her be in fear. I loved the atmosphere of this promo, with all the screens. It really reflects our current way of life and the way we use screens to scrutinize what is happening all around us. Scary…
To be eNYGMAtic…
The fallout episodes from a PPV are usually not the best ones, because they’re all about revenge and celebrations. Not this time because the recipe of good wrestling, promos and cinematic orchestra was respected. We have more storylines meant to continue than new feuds emerging. Impact is taping from Mexico at the end of the week, I expect to tell you about all the Lucha Libre AAA talents we love, like Aerostar, Texano, Pagano, Lady Shani or Faby Apache. Also, Taya Valkyrie is at the same time Impact Knockouts Champion and AAA Reina de Reinas Champion. The coming weeks should be interesting…
On this “Don’t Wake Nygma Up Until Next Tuesday” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling and AXS TV. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.