Spiders and Crocodiles – From The Impact Zone – September 20th, 2019 Review

An enigma as a title, custom-made by a Nygma just to make sure you will read this till the end. 28 days, tick, tock. Bound For Glory is right there just around the corner, we have one official Championship match, 3 other announced. What about the 3 other Championships? If this last week in Mexico is not giving us a little bit more, Las Vegas will, as the next set of tapings is the last till Bound For Glory.
On the menu of Impact this week, from Lucha Libre land in Mexico City, Mexico, nothing less than 6 matches announced. Shera will face Cody Deaner, The Rascalz will square off with 3 AAA talents, Australian Suicide, Arez & Toxin, oVe will face Tessa Blanchard, RVD, Rhino and Tommy Dreamer in a Street Fight. Havok will face Su Yung in a no DQ match and the longest-reigning Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie will compete against Alisha Edwards. Also, a farewell match for Santana and Ortiz against Rich Swann and Willie Mack. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

I don’t come back on LAX’s Greatest Moments that were relived through the night. I know and you know what these moments are.

  • Tessa Blanchard, Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam & Rhino defeated oVe (Sami Callihan, Jake Crist, Dave Crist & Madman Fulton) in a Street Fight. oVe was picked off by Rhino’s Gore through a table, Rob Van Dam’s 5-Star Frog Splash and Tessa Blanchard making Jake Crist tap out to the crossface while holding a kendo stick to his face.
  • Ace Austin was in a wheelchair. Alisha Edwards was concerned, but Ace insisted to be here to see her match with the Champion. As she walked off to get ready, Austin gave a sly smirk.
  • The North were celebrating LAX leaving Impact Wrestling. Ethan Page thought their tears will be happy tears, and Josh Alexander was clearly up for the party. Page even bought LAX a pinata. Ethan thought The North are going to have a fiesta tonight, but Josh didn’t look amused.

  • Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie defeated Alisha Edwards. During the match, Ace Austin was wheeled out to ringside and took care of John E. Bravo, who interfered, while Alisha wasn’t looking. After Alisha recovered from the loss, he fell out of his wheelchair and garnered more sympathy.
  • Ethan Page was looking for people to party with. They came across RVD and Rhino, Rhino angrily grabbed the pinata and told them he’ll show them what fun is, so The North quickly retreated.
  • Shera (w/ Desi Hit Squad) defeated Cody Deaner (w/ Cousin Jake)
  • The Rascalz (Dez, Trey & Wentz) defeated Australian Suicide, Arez & Toxin

  • Moose was in Mexico City looking for trouble. He walked up to some random guys and started a brawl in the streets. “Ken (Shamrock), do you see that!?”
  • Tenille Dashwood told Jimmy Jacobs she comes to Impact looking for competition and she would enjoy facing Madison Rayne or Tessa Blanchard, but the focus is on the champion Taya Valkyrie. While Dashwood felt she has been overlooked in the past, she’s here to make a name for herself and make it all about her.
  • Havok defeated Su Yung in a no DQ match. After the bell rang a second time, Su got up and briefly locked in the claw. Havok ran at Su but she sidestepped her into the ladder. Yung grabbed a chair and threw it at Havok, and the battle continued. They spilt to the back and the brawl ensued to a stairwell. Havok had a rope and wrapped it around Su’s neck, and pushed her off the stairs, laughing maniacally. Su was rushed to the hospital.

  • Melissa Santos’ Bachelorette party with the Knockouts ended up with Joey Ryan stripping. Cage’s Bachelor Party ended up with Tommy Dreamer, Rich Swann and The Mack disgusted by the tray of food he was stuffing his face with.
  • Johnny Swinger was here with his 1988 turbo, and his fave tunes lined up.
  • Willie Mack & Rich Swann defeated LAX (Ortiz & Santana w/ Konnan). The announcers thanked them, the locker room thanked them, the crowd thanked them.
  • Doctors were working hard to keep Su Yung alive. She had no heartbeat, and the doctors tried resuscitating but gave up on her. Su lied there for several seconds, as it seemed she has passed. But suddenly, Su Yung came back from the dead.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– Tessa Blanchard, Tommy Dreamer, Rob Van Dam & Rhino vs oVe (Sami Callihan, Jake Crist, Dave Crist & Madman Fulton)
They brawled at the bell, spilling to the floor. RVD attached with kicks and rolling thunder. Tessa rolled Dave in and followed with the code breaker and then a suicide dive. Dreamer cut off Jake with a fallaway slam while Rhino and Fulton brawled. Fulton cut him off and Jake fired him up until Dreamer fired back with jabs. The cutter followed but Dreamer was cut off as Jake then followed with an assisted dive. Dreamer dumped Fulton, headed up top and fell off the top onto the pile. Back in, RVD laid in strikes on Sami and then followed with a tope. Tessa was in and grounded Sami with strikes and a DDT. She headed up top but Dave cut her off. He followed her up and hit a superplex to throw her onto the pile on the floor.

Back in, Rhino and Sami traded strikes, Sami hit an exploder but Rhino popped up and hit a spinebuster. Jake cut him off and Dreamer attacked with elbows until Dave cut him off. RVD took him out, Fulton attacked and hit the End of Days. Tessa made the save, attacked Fulton and hit a tornado DDT. The Magnum was cut off by Jake, Fulton held her up and Jake hit the super cutter. Dreamer attacked with kendo stick shots, RVD hit a plancha, and Rhino slid in a table. Sami hit a Nutcracker on both Dreamer and Rhino, Dreamer hit the NutClawer, Jake then cut him off until Rhino hit the Gore on Jake through the table. RVD then hit the Frog Splash. Tessa locked on a crossface with the kendo and Jake tapped out.

– LAX (Ortiz & Santana w/ Konnan) vs. Willie Mack & Rich Swann
They locked up and Santana worked the arm until Swann worked into counters, and they ended in a standoff. Lock up again and they worked into counters and ended in another standoff. They traded arm drags, shoved each other and Swann connected with a dropkick. Ortiz tagged in and they double-teamed Swann and the Ortiz connected with a splash and the crab, Swann fought and made the ropes. He tagged in Mack and followed with chops and strikes, but LAX cut him off. Santana tagged back in and followed with chops. LAX looked for double teams but Mack and Swann cut them off.

Mack now did a corner headstand and followed with a tackle, a Samoan drop, and a standing moonsault. Post break, Mack was in control as he laid in chops on Ortiz. Swann tagged in and followed with kicks and chops. Swann grounded the action, but Ortiz hit a jawbreaker. Mack tagged in and followed with strikes, and he and Swann isolated Ortiz. Ortiz battled back with a DDT and tagged in Santana. He ran wild, connecting with kicks and a dropkick. Swann back in cut him off, Ortiz tagged in as LAX worked some double team moves. Swann battled back, Santana fought off Mack until Mack caught him and the doomsday neck breaker followed.

It broke down with an exploder by Mack, a Dragon Screw by Ortiz but Swann cut him off with a DDT and Santana then cut him off with a sit-out powerbomb. Everyone was down, they fought to their feet and LAX double-teamed Swann with powerbombs. They dumped Mack and set for the street sweeper. Swann fought out and Mack was back, Swann hit a hurricanrana and Mack hit the frog splash. Mack and Swann looked for double teams, Santana fought them off, but Mack and Swann hit superkicks. The Lethal Injection and the double stunner followed. Swann hit the Phoenix splash as Mack hit a frog splash for the win.

The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week 

No Elgin this week, no Desi Hit Squad (read below). But Moose involved in a random Street Fight is not-Nygma. A wedding on TV is not a good sign at all, I’m sure Sami already prepared his most devilish costume for next week…

The Nygma’s Award of the Week

Yes, they earned a farewell match. Santana and Ortiz have built a legacy on Impact, I won’t deny that. This episode was taped in Mexico on August 15th, Santana and Ortiz were in Chicago two weeks later. When you’re aware of this, do you still want to show respect to these guys? Impact wanted to do it, so be it.
I would always be bittersweet about this moment. I had followed every step of these guys on Impact, week after week, Championship after Championship, from the Bastard time to the legends era. So, yes, for sure, I will miss them. But the same way they moved forward, Impact will do the same, and I will do the same.

Was Shera the missing link of The Desi Hit Squad’s success? It seems like… Maybe for the first time of its “illustrious” career, The Desi Hit Squad have been looking like a credible and strong stable.

No bachelorette party without Joey Ryan himself (in another universe, Joey Ryan ran Brian Cage Bachelors’s Party, and it was hot…). A funny moment that may tease a Joey Ryan debut on Impact… Look below, this man knows how to make things be bubbly…

If the match between Havok and Su was not the best you could have imagined from those 2 amazing wrestlers, the cinematic orchestra that followed was just one of the best moments we’ve seen for a while… Last week, Father James Mitchell warned Havok Su has some powers that could defy her imagination. Su Yung is dead, now how is the new and reborn Su Yung?

To be eNYGMAtic…

28 days… I repeat it, but where’s the action and the craziness that brought us to Slammiversary? The show was not that bad this week, with undeniable action and some cinematic orchestra like I love to tell you about. But the sparkle was not there yet… It seems like Impact Wrestling will gamble its last PPV of the year in Las Vegas. That’s a very risky move. With new wrestlers making their debut in the coming weeks, some Championship matches to build, the next 4 shows should be stacked. But there’s a difference between quantity and quality, which makes the gamble even more hazardous. As far as I’m concerned, I just expect my health will make it till Bound For Glory. If you find out a review here on October 21st, you will know the Nygma is also a gambler.
On this “Nygma Plays Poker” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

Bound For Glory Card:

  • Impact World Championship Match: Brian Cage vs Sami Callihan
  • Ken Shamrock vs Moose
  • Team Impact (The Rascalz) vs Team AAA (Dr Wagner Jr and 2 partners)
  • Michael Elgin vs Naomichi Marufuji

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.

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