Sad But True – From The Impact Zone – September 6th, 2019 Review

Last week, when I read my review once again, I thought I pushed the button pretty hard. I have no excuse, I think, even if I reviewed 10 hours of wrestling in 4 days and I’ve been dealing with a hell of pain for 5 months now… Comparing Impact to a retirement house was hard but I won’t apologize because what is written can’t be removed. Since Slammiversary, I’ve been trying to find this road that could let us think Bound For Glory will end 2019 the magic way. The first 3 PPVs of the year were just mind-blowing, so let’s finish it the way we started it…
On the menu of Impact this week, from Lucha Libre land in Mexico City, Mexico, Moose will compete against Fallah Bahh, again. Su Yung and Havok will finally square off. RVD will fight Madman Fulton. In the country of Lucha de Apuesta, LAX is putting his career on the line for a chance to grab the Tag Team titles back against The North. And we’ll hear about the future of World Championship. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

  • Havok defeated Su Yung by DQ after Su spat The Mist in Havok’s face.
  • Backstage, The North commented on their game plan for LAX tonight. Page thanked LAX for the opportunity to take away what they loved the most. Alexander said The North knew for years they are the best, and it’s about time everyone knows and respects them. The North is going to make sure the world forgets about LAX. Page made it clear they will only have one reign that will last forever.
  • The oVe Creepy Cam showed Sami Callihan is in a good mood because oVe is getting what they want. Callihan was wearing a jacket like a true champion, and before they meet with Brian Cage later, oVe is going to watch Fulton play with Rob Van Dam. After that? They are taking over everything, of course.

  • Moose defeated Fallah Bahh. Post-match, Moose got Fallah Bahh in an Ankle Lock while screaming at Ken Shamrock to send a message to the World’s Most Dangerous Man.
  • Tommy Dreamer was encouraging Tessa Blanchard to steer away from feuds and go after more accolades. But Tessa was not having it, she just wanted to kill Sami Callihan and oVe for good, and she will not be persuaded otherwise.
  • Alisha and Eddie Edwards were talking things out. He was sorry and will take it easy on Ace in future. Some random girl showed up and thanked Eddie for a great time last night, implying he slept with her. Alisha slapped him in the face and walked off, prompting Ace Austin to chime in and calling Eddie a real “piece of shit”.

  • TJP defeated Golden Magic with the TJP Clutch.
  • Alisha found Ace, who happened to be with the girl from earlier. He threatened her and asked if Alisha is alright. They walked off into the night together.
  • Taya Valkyrie was stressed out about Tenille Dashwood. It should be all about her, she’s the longest reigning Knockout’s Champion. John E. Bravo gave advice, but Taya said all his ideas are stupid, so she went looking for someone else to talk to.

  • Johnny Swinger is coming to Impact for two reasons, chew bubblegum, and pop the territory. And he’s all out of bubblegum. The King of Swing is rolling into Impact Wrestling. He then showed off his big arms to some nice girls sitting down for coffee.
  • Tenille Dashwood tried introducing herself to Jimmy Jacobs, but Kiera Hogan and Madison Rayne came in. Dashwood interrupted them introducing themselves, so Kiera told her to go to the back of the line. But Tenille said she’s ready to take on all challengers. Madison booked Kiera in a match for next week, which she reluctantly agreed to.
  • Rob Van Dam defeated Madman Fulton (w/ Dave Crist) by DQ. Dave Crist got involved so they could beat up Rob Van Dam. The plan backfired, as RVD fought them off and nailed Crist with the 5-star Frog Splash.

  • Swann and Mack were in the Rascalz Treehouse, The Desi Hit Squad were still in The Deaners’ farm, Jordynne Grace tried to find some help in Rosemary, Konnan reminded  LAX built this place, as he shared his passion to motivate his team into doing this one more time, to prove they are the best tag team of all time.
  • The North (c) (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) defeated LAX (Ortiz & Santana w/ Konnan). Ethan Page mocked LAX by wearing Santana’s bandana in victory. Josh Alexander waved goodbye to Santana. Konnan held Santana and Ortiz’s hands up high, as Josh Mathews extended the company’s gratitude to everything Ortiz, Santana and Konnan have done for Impact Wrestling over the years. Don Callis was going to miss seeing them, as will everyone else in Impact.
  • The Impact World Heavyweight Champion Brian Cage made his way to the ring with the title and his girlfriend Melissa Santos. After working hard for fourteen years to become World Champion, he never imagined it would turn out like this. Coming back to retain the title against Michael Elgin set him back. He was not happy with his lack of title defences, but he did have some good news. In six weeks he will be cleared, which means he can compete against Sami Callihan at Bound For Glory. He went into the office today and told management straight up that he wants to defend it. There’s no way they are vacating it. Then he proposed to Melissa as the title was the second biggest thing he wants to do tonight.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– TJP vs Golden Magic
They locked up and TJP looked to ground things. They worked into counters and TJP took him down with a head scissors. Magic countered out and TJP kipped out. They work into back and forth, Magic hits the Lucha arm drag and stunned TJP off the ropes. Magic flew in with an arm drag and followed with a head scissors and a moonsault to the floor. Post-break and back in, TJP cut him off into the Tree of Woe and followed with a dropkick. The Senton Atomico followed, then he grounded the action and worked a butterfly lock. He went for covers but Magic kept kicking out. The disaster kick connected. He cut him off with a dropkick and followed with the rolling suplexes and headed up top.

The Swanton missed, Magic hit a cutter and followed with a tornillo that basically missed to the floor. Back in, Magic cradled him for 2. The step-up high-cross connected and then the spin-out slam. TJP counters back and did whatever he was looking for and finally hit the brainbuster. TJP went up top, cut off and Magic hits the top rope hurricanrana. Magic went back up top and missed the 450, TJP attacked his knee and they worked up top. Magic hit the fall away moonsault slam. Magic went up top again, the 450 missed and TJP hit the detonation kick and the heel hook leglock finished it.

– The North vs LAX
Santana and Alexander began. They locked up and worked to the ropes. Santana grounded the action, but Alexander countered out until Santana hit a dropkick. Ortiz tagged in and double-team moves followed. Ortiz worked over Alexander in the corner, Santana tagged in and took out Page but Alexander fought back and then cut off Ortiz. Ethan Page worked him over Ortiz as Alexander stomped away at the bad knee of Santana. The champions followed with double teams, isolating Santana and keeping him grounded. Santana fired back, but Page quickly cut him off as Alexander worked over Santana on the apron.

Santana tried to fire back, Page tagged in and he laid the boots to him. They looked for double-team moves but Santana countered out and tagged in Ortiz. He ran wild and worked over Alexander. He hit a DDT on Page and a powerbomb on Alexander. Josh countered back and followed with ground and pound. The double Gotch followed. The Champions looked for the Street Sweeper, but Santana made the save. LAX ran wild and isolated Alexander after dumping Page, picking up the near fall. They continued to control, looking for the Street Sweeper, but Page cut off Santana and the double team spinebuster finished the career of Santana and Ortiz on Impact Wrestling.

Nygma or not-Nygma?

NYGMA Award to Santana & Ortiz. I won’t comment on what I already did. Just read this
Finally, the first Bound For Glory match is signed and set. I understand the company was waiting to know if Cage would be able to defend it or not. Moose is doing his best when Taya is not receiving the reward of being the longest-reigning Champion.

NOT NYGMA… Too many promos and too many DQs. Ace Austin being a douchebag, The Desi Hit Squad at the farm, Johnny Swinger, Madison Rayne as the locker room leader… There was no surprise in seeing LAX lose, I’m sorry to say it. Whatever, Konnan is still there, so LAX spirit is still there. Santana and Ortiz just left…

To be eNYGMAtic…

This week was better, a good and nice rebound following last week’s weak effort. They gave LAX their send off, positioned the North well, set up matches for next week, and kept the main angles rolling along. Always some good things, some bad things, the show was solid but could have been way better. The Road to Bound for Glory is made of 6 more weeks. And I want the action and the craziness that brought us to Slammiversary…
Yes, it’s more or less the same overall than the previous weeks, but I’m sorry if, week after week, I feel normal to sing the same old song… At least, I’m not too hurtful… 
On this “Nygma is Human” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.

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