Gore Me If You Can – From The Impact Zone – August 9th, 2019

Last week’s review was pretty special with this mash-up of live and taped shows. No worries, this week, we’re back where we are supposed to be and the review is taking its normal shape back. So, Sami Callihan officially became the #1 contender for the Impact World Heavyweight Championship. This is great, he earned it. At the same time, without any shadow of a doubt, very soon, a woman, maybe Tessa Blanchard, will be on the same spot. That will happen.
On the menu of Impact this week, from Windsor, Ontario, Canada, 6 matches announced and 3 are Championship ones. Impact X-Division Champion Jake Crist will face Aiden Prince, Tag Team Champions The North will compete against Daga and Ortiz, and Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie will square off with Havok. Also, Eddie Edwards and Ace Austin will play “I have a Monster in my box” in the ring. Madison Rayne will face Alexia Nicole. Rhino will be in action too. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

  • Jake Crist retained the Impact X-Division title by defeating Aiden Prince
  • Backstage, Konnan and Daga were talking about Ortiz being a little emotional because of Santana being in the hospital. Ortiz walked in and Daga told him he doesn’t need any apologies for the way he was talked to. Daga handed a beer, which was Ortiz’s way of saying he’s on board with them teaming tonight.
  • Backstage, Jimmy Jacobs got a word with Taya Valkyrie. Impact management wants her to defend the Knockouts title against Havok. She was not happy about it. John E. Bravo was sporting a neck brace after being chokeslammed by Havok last week.
  • Ace Austin defeated Eddie Edwards via DQ because Eddie snapped. Ace asked Eddie “What would Alisha say” before he hit the Boston Knee Party. Alisha ran out to stop Eddie but answered nothing about her involvement with Ace. Eddie got frustrated and walked off, telling her to stay with him.
  • Tessa Blanchard gave her thoughts about Jake Crist interfering in her #1 contender match with Sami Callihan at Unbreakable. Tessa was very upset as she wanted to prove herself one-on-one with Sami, like two professional wrestlers. So what does this mean for her going forward? It means she’s coming after Sami.

  • Backstage, Moose caught up with Fallah Bahh while he was eating. He said Impact Wrestling doesn’t need him anymore, as he’ll always be a fat joke. A brawl ensued. Moose threw food in Fallah’s face, temporarily blinding him, and forces more food down his throat. Fallah was left laying in catering.
  • Madison Rayne defeated Alexia Nicole. Kiera Hogan was on commentary. After the match, Kiera Hogan entered the ring and bickered with Madison. Alexia started brawling with them, but they quickly partnered up and took her down. Jordynne Grace rushed out to save Alexia and scared the duo away.
  • In The Rascalz Treehouse, they were not pleased about failing to win any titles last week. The good news was, Wentz saw someone really cool in the corridor. They talked about the legends behind the man; like how you can get a contact high just by touching him. Rob Van Dam appeared and confirmed everything they said. They were so psyched to see him they started wrestling each other and imitating his moves. RVD could only say “what the f**k, I thought this was meant to mellow us out?”

  • Taya Valkyrie vs Havok ended in a no-contest when Su Yung appeared. Havok and she fought in the ring. Su got the claw on and sent her falling to the outside. Havok screamed in frustration.
  • Jimmy Jacobs interviewed Melissa Santos. He asked about the relationship between her and Brian Cage. She had to do something about it after watching Elgin trying to take her husband’s career away. Melissa wishes she could say Cage would be better tomorrow, but he has to see more specialists to find out exactly where the injuries are. Jacobs asked about the status of the World title, Santos wasn’t thrilled to admit there may be more important things to worry about than World Championships.

  • The Desi Hit Squad provoked The Deaners in a bar. Raju spat a drink in their faces. The Deaners took them out, leaving Gama Singh to beg for his life. He ran away through the entrance doors. The Deaners celebrated but were struck in the heads by two beer bottles. Raju told them they are beneath them. Later on, The Deaners cut a serious promo saying they want to show the Desi Hit Squad what hard work is all about.
  • Stone Rockwell vs. Nate Mattson ended in a no-contest when Rhino Gored Mattson. Rhino called out Michael Elgin. Big Mike said Rhino only targeted him because everyone’s been talking about him. Elgin listed everyone he’s sent to the hospital so far. And the only bad news was that he only did things on his terms. They brawled outside the ring before security rushed out to split them up.
  • Backstage, Ace Austin was bragging to staff about his win over Eddie Edwards. Austin said he’s got a full-proof plan for Eddie, he’s going to catch his wife.

  • Backstage, Gama Singh slapped Rohit Raju and stole his idea of making The Deaners their servants when they win the match.
  • oVe had trouble getting their promo started, due to Madman Fulton being fired up. Sami Callihan said he is now the #1 contender to the World Heavyweight Championship. He didn’t agree with Tommy Dreamer saving Tessa Blanchard at Unbreakable. Sami chose Dave Crist as his partner, as they challenge Tommy and Tessa to a tag team match next week.
  • The North (Ethan Page & Josh Alexander) retained the Impact Tag Team belts by defeating Ortiz & Daga w/ Konnan. Despite losing, Ortiz showed respect to Daga. LAX will continue like this till Santana is fit to return.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– Jake Crist vs Aiden Prince
They tied up and did some chain wrestling through wrist locks that ended with Prince getting a chin lock. Prince replied with a flip kick and Crist powdered. Prince looked to dive but flew into a kick from Crist and was hung up on the ropes. On the apron, Prince landed a front kick but got caught and hit with a Death Valley Driver on the apron. Crist connected with a modified Rings of Saturn but Prince was able to get free. Crist replied with a big boot.

They traded strikes and Crist laid into Prince in the corner. Crist connected with a back suplex and drove Prince into another corner. Prince ate a series of kicks but unloaded palm strikes and chops. Crist set him on the top rope but Prince capitalized with a flying attack, then tried the 450 but Crist got the knees up and cradled him. Prince avoided a drop and hits a reverse hurricanrana. Prince ran into a superkick but avoided a wheel kick, then charged but is caught with a powerslam into the turnbuckles.

Crist followed Prince outside the ring, Prince attacked him and hit a hurricanrana to the floor and a suicide dive. Prince went back up top while Crist was outside, tried to fly onto him but instead ate a superkick. Crist put Prince on the top rope again, Prince shoved him off though but got caught setting up and crotched. Crist hit a superplex, floated through but Prince connected with the brainbuster and the 450. Prince couldn’t believe it but went back up for another one, this time Crist caught him with a super cutter for the win.

– The North vs Daga & Ortiz w/ Konnan
Page brawled with Ortiz, getting the best of it. Page kicked him and laid in rights, then Ortiz broke free and landed some arm drags. They broke in the corner, Ortiz landed kicks, then they ran the buckles a bit and Ortiz hit a powerslam. Ortiz tagged in Daga and they double-teamed Page for a bit. Page winded up kicking out of a standing moonsault. LAX postured, so Page tagged in Alexander who floored Daga. They started trading blows, then Daga accelerated while running the ropes and hit a tilt-a-whirl head scissors to send Alexander to the floor. Daga unloaded a big dive over the top rope onto both Alexander and Page. Alexander back in the ring landed a fireman’s carry front flip, then Daga caught him trying to jump onto him and landed a suplex. Daga hit some blows, Alexander fired up and they started trading chops.

Page had to trip up Daga on the outside, that distracted Ortiz and they hit an assisted suplex facebuster. They isolated Daga in the corner and Alexander tagged in Page who laid boots to Daga. Daga connected with forearm blows, but Page cut him off with a back elbow, then hit Ortiz. Ortiz got pissed and tried to come in, Page and Alexander faked a tag and beat up Daga for a few seconds before Alexander took over. Daga tried to fire up but walked into a northern lights suplex and Alexander floated over to land blows. Page tagged in and they resumed beating on Daga in the corner. Daga and Page started trading rights but Page drove him back to the corner. Daga replied with kicks and a full nelson into a German suplex to Page and everyone was down. Ortiz got the tag and Ortiz and Alexander started trading blows.

Ortiz unloaded a bevvy of forearm strikes, then a dropkick. Alexander tried to toss Ortiz, Ortiz landed on the apron then sprang through the ropes with a tornado DDT and a falling headbutt. Alexander was on the shoulders of Ortiz, Daga tagged in and hit a stomp. Ortiz continued with a Death Valley Driver, Daga hit a standing moonsault. Daga and Alexander traded blows, Page tagged himself in and they double-teamed Daga. Page hit an elbow, Alexander unloaded a moonsault. Page tagged in Alexander, they went for the Double Styles Clash but Daga fought free with kicks, stomps and superkicks Alexander. Daga tagged in Ortiz, who set for a powerbomb but Page made the save. Daga flew in with dropkicks to them. Ortiz took out Page on the outside, Alexander sent Daga out while Ortiz was in. Alexander dropped Ortiz, tagged in Page and they hit the alley-oop spinebuster for the win.

The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week 

So, Michael Elgin wants to send someone to the hospital? Wonderful, not-Nygma 50,000%…

Masters and Servants’ era is over, unless you’re a Depeche Mode fan. This Deaners/Desi Hit Squad match stipulation is ridiculous and from an era that should never be reminded of.

The Nygma’s Award of the Week

– The North
Over the last few months, most of the tag team action on Impact had been very Lucha Libre, even hardcore. The Crist brothers, The Lucha Brothers and LAX set a standard that seemed to have become the definition of what tag team wrestling was about on Impact. With The North, we can see something really different, more technical but at the same time very innovative. The success of a team lies in the chemistry between its wrestlers. On this point, Ethan and Josh are made of the same wood than Dave and Jake, Penta and Fénix, or Santana and Ortiz. Ethan Page will explain that to you way better than I do. Be patient, our interview will be online soon…

–  Daga
Fans of Lucha Underground already met Daga, by the end of Season 3 and also on Season 4. Lucha Libre AAA in Mexico has been his home since 2011 but he wrestled for many indy promotions in the USA and Mexico. He was at PROGRESS Chapter 88: Super Strong Style last May, working for Dragon Gate last year. The Luchador is very talented, he just needed to show it on a legit US TV platform.

To be eNYGMAtic…

Some good things, some very bad things, the show was solid but could have been way better. Like last week, storylines are advancing a good way, some characters are evolving. But it’s long and complex, even full of clichés… The Road to Bound for Glory is made of 10 more weeks. They have better be shaken, not stirred…
On this “Bond, Nygma Bond” note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.

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