“This is My Perfect Utopia” – From The Impact Zone – May 10th, 2019

A few news to start… World Champion Brian Cage is doing everything he can to come back very soon and being able to defend the title. Check his social media, he’s really working hard at being back the soonest. Tag Team Champion Santana tore his left MCL at Code Red Special Event, he’s expected to be back for the next set of tapings in early June at the Melrose Ballroom in New York City. Backstage interviewer Melissa Santos is rehabbing after a recently repaired ACL surgery. And my neck is still no more… which explains how late I am to post this review…
Last week, the Fallout from Rebellion was pretty cool to watch, with some storylines coming slowly to an end and new ones burgeoning. On The Road to Slammiversary XVII, it’s pretty exciting. But a lot of things can happen until then, and we still have many weeks of Impact to review before July 7…
On the menu this week, from Toronto, Ontario, Canada, Taya Valkyrie will train to earn a first win on Madison Rayne, LAX will square off with Josh Alexander and Moose, Ethan Page will fight the returning RVD. And, in the main event, an 8-Man brutal brawl is expected as oVe will compete against Tommy Dreamer, Rich Swann, The Mack and Fallah Bahh, but the oVe rules… So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

  • Impact Tag Team Champions LAX defeated Moose & Josh Alexander.
  • Backstage, Madison Rayne said she should be in line for a title shot. She was upset that Taya won’t put the title on the line, saying she’ll be okay with that and make it 3-0 against the Champion tonight.
  • Backstage, Tommy Dreamer was with Rich Swann, The Mack, Scarlett and Fallah Bahh and talked about his history with them and how they will go into battle together tonight. Tonight will be a war, and he fights for what’s right, he fights for Impact Wrestling. He may not have much left, but he will fight for his team because he loves them.
  • Madison Rayne defeated Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie. Tessa Blanchard was on commentary.
  • Backstage, RVD said it’s been a while since he has graced Impact. He talked about Diamond Dallas Page, apologized and said he meant Ethan Page. He hit the RVD pose, said he was looking forward to the match, but it was all about him and RVD hit the RVD pose again.

  • Rosemary cut a promo on Su Yung and proposed a Demon Collar match, where Winner Takes All.
  • Jordynne Grace defeated Alexis Nicole.
  • Backstage, Ethan Page said he’ll destroy RVD. Josh Alexander said after that they’ll destroy the tag division.
  • Kiera Hogan commented on walking away from Rosemary last week. She just did what Rosemary asked. She tried to be friends with everyone. Grace arrived and they argued. Kiera said she doesn’t need her and Rosemary can die just like Allie.
  • RVD defeated Ethan Page w/ Josh Alexander.
  • Backstage video on Brian Cage. He talked about recovering from his injury, how scary it was. He says at one point due to his lower back injury, he couldn’t feel one of his legs. Tests have been run but hard to tell the severity of injury due to swelling in the area. He said all he can do is do physical rehab and see where it goes.

  • Backstage, Michael Elgin was asked about his actions lately and he said the list will keep growing as he put more people in the hospital. Johnny Impact arrived and claimed he put Cage in the hospital. Impact then said Elgin The Mack didn’t get sent to the hospital at Code Red. Elgin said he’ll make sure the next ambulance has two beds, one for Mack and one for Impact.
  • The Desi Hit Squad defeated The Deaners, Brent Banks & Aiden Prince, and The Rascalz (Dez & Wentz).
  • Killer Kross said he kidnapped Kenneth from Eddie to prove a point. There is a fine line between being insane and being a genius. He wanted an answer from Eddie.
  • LAX hung out with Trey in the clubhouse. Wentz & Dez arrived and Trey said he got a lion to protect their stash. Trey did shots with LAX but Rascalz couldn’t handle their liquor to LAX’s dismay.
  • oVe (Sami Callihan, Mad Man Fulton, Jake & Dave Crist) defeated Rich Swann, Willie Mack, Fallah Bahh & Tommy Dreamer w/ Scarlett Bordeaux.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– LAX vs. Moose & Josh Alexander
Unexpected team for an unexpected match. Moose and The North proved at Rebellion they can do it as a stable. Let’s see what they can do as a team, against the Tag Team Champions…

Alexander and Santana began. They worked into some fun counters, LAX looked for double team moves but Alexander ran the Together until he got cut off. Moose tagged in and hit a dropkick on Ortiz to the floor. Alexander worked him over on the floor and then rolled him back in. Alexander tagged in and laid the boots to Ortiz. He and Moose worked quick tags and double teams, isolating Ortiz. Ortiz fought back, dumped Alexander but Alexander took out Santana. Alexander grounded Ortiz with a sleeper, but Ortiz countered with a stunner. Tag to Santana and he ran wild on Alexander until Moose tripped him up. Ortiz ran Alexander into Moose, and double team moves followed until Moose made the save. LAX cut off Moose, but Moose kept fighting and hit the Go To Hell for 2. Moose then accidentally kicked Alexander, allowing LAX to run wild with more double team moves, pinning Alexander.

– Taya Valkyrie vs. Madison Rayne
Queen Bee is going for a 3-0 against Taya, to prove she’s the real #1 contender for the Knockouts title.

Tessa joined commentary. Taya stalled, Rayne chased her and, as they rolled in, Taya attacked. She followed with strikes. Post break, Taya was still in control. Rayne managed to trip her up and then hits head scissors. She hit another and Taya then grounded her after overpowering her. Taya followed with a leg drop and laid the boots to Rayne. She then choked her out in the ropes and then bent her around the post. Taya talked trash to Tessa and, back in, Rayne countered the Road to Valhalla. Taya cut her off with strikes. Rayne cut her off with a tornado DDT and both were down. Rayne then followed with a flurry of strikes, an enzuigiri, and a cutter. Taya cut her off with a backbreaker and kicks. Rayne then cradled her for 2 and locked on the Single Leg Boston Crab. Taya tapped right away.

– oVe (Sami Callihan, Madman Fulton, Dave & Jake Crist) vs. Tommy Dreamer, Rich Swann, The Mack & Fallah Bahh w/ Scarlett Bordeaux – oVe Rules match
Nice list of weapons, ladders, chairs, barbed-wire chairs, cookie sheet, stop sign, garbage bin and lid, fork, LEGOs©, but no chairs or baseball bats… But some action too…

Scarlett was at ringside. Chaos to start as they all brawled at ringside. Bahh worked over Dave in the ring and Dreamer tossed him weapons. Bahh slammed him on chairs and followed with a steamroller. Jake laid in kicks on Swann, but Swann battled back and Mack was in and hit slams on Sami, Jake, & Dave. The standing moonsault followed. He then wiped out the pile with a tope. Dave cut off Dreamer in the ring and then hit a moonsault onto the pile. Bahh then hit the suicide dive to wipe out the pile. Dreamer followed with the apron cannonball. Post break, they were brawling on the floor as Dreamer got a ladder and did a spinning spot with it until Fulton cut him off and ran wild on the faces with chair shots. He then slammed Dreamer on the ladder, and they set up the ladder on the ramp. Dave got a fork and, back in, Dreamer hit a cutter on Fulton.

Mack piled up chairs, Jake hit some tornado DDTs. Bahh made the save, Jake was busted open. Dave cut off Bahh with a barbed wire chair, but Bahh cut him off and set up chairs. They worked up top and Fulton was back. He hit a powerbomb on Bahh through the chairs. Dave connected with a double stomp with the barbed wire chair. Swann laid in strikes, dumped Fulton and hit the Lethal Injection on Dave. He climbed the ladder on the ramp, but Fulton attacked and Jake then hit a super cutter. Bahh made the save again. Fulton climbed the ladder and flew in, but Bahh caught him with a Samoan drop. Dreamer brought in LEGOS™, worked over Sami but Sami got the groin claw, the infamous Nut Grinder. Dreamer then hit some DDTs on Sami and Dave into the LEGOS™. Bahh then ran through the LEGOS™ and Fulton hit a kind of End of Days on Bahh. Mack back in hit stunners and a trashcan-assisted cannonball, but Sami hit him with the Cactus Driver for the win.

The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week 

So, Michael Elgin wants to send everyone to the hospital? Wonderful, not-Nygma 1 000%…

You can’t go on being what you have been. I’ve been a fan of Rob Van Dam since his ECW days, he’s been an innovator in both new wrestling moves, hardcore and high-flying offences. But RVD is now 48, the stretch is still there, the moves and the desire to do them too, but it’s definitely not the same…

The Nygma’s Award of the Week

– Scarlett Bordeaux
One Nygma Award for 3 months… Wise move when she offered Fallah Bahh to be a part of the 8-Man match… Scarlett is definitely a gorgeous and intelligent wrestler… A Bordeaux “Grand Cru”…

– Tommy Dreamer
This speech is probably the best I’ve ever heard in weeks, maybe years… Dreamer was the heart and soul of ECW, he’s always been the heart and soul of this business… Tommy Dreamer is a wrestler, a mentor, a trainer, a Creative, a promoter… He IS wrestling.

– Tessa Blanchard
Am I dreaming? Are pain killers making me behave badly? This is a brand-new Tessa Blanchard who was commenting on the match between Taya and Madison. She was funny, smiling, and provided interesting comments. I may not agree with her on the fact Rayne deserves a title shot but I could appreciate the wrestler I saw this week because she was just shinning.

– Ethan Page
You all know I’m a big fan of Ethan Page but the Nygma Award I give him this week comes from something different. You sometimes have to lose to make someone else shine, you sometimes have to push your ego aside to ensure the company gets what it wants. Page helped RVD prevail this week. And Mister All Ego didn’t lose the match, he won the respect of many wrestlers and fans…

– Jordynne Grace
Thick Mama Pump defeated Alexis Nicole in less than 3 minutes in an incredible demonstration of strength. Her range seems unlimited… There’s no doubt in my mind she will be Impact Knockouts Champion in 2019… and she will earn it…

– Kenny
Who could have imagined one of the biggest Impact Wrestling superstars today would be a kendo stick? Eli Drake, now Killer Kross, have been looking forward to having Eddie Edwards’ best friend? Kenny has become the superhero of this company, that’s crazy and I like that… And it allows Killer Kross to offer one of his legendary promos…

To be eNYGMAtic…

What to say about this episode… Action: 200% Nygma. Cinematic moments and promos: 150% Nygma. Some solid moments make a good show, not obviously a great one. We made baby steps in our moving forward desire this week, which is not that bad…
Tommy Dreamer’s speech makes me remind of why I love wrestling so much. For more than 35 years, I’ve looked up to men like him, true warriors, larger-than-life human beings… I’ve been a fan of Dreamer since as long as I could remember. The words he said this week are important. They make me think loving wrestling is a good thing. Thank you, Tommy…
I have a few personal mottos, like “more Honour than honours”, “what doesn’t kill you makes you stronger”, but the one that prevails in my writing is to say when it’s good like to say when it’s bad. And never take things too seriously, but do them seriously… On this truly Nygma note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.

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