Last week, I forgot to welcome back Mahabali Shera on Impact. As far as my neck is concerned, I should not even be typing this review… Are we really on The Road to Slammiversary XVII? Honestly, 6 weeks before the PPV, we can really ask ourselves the question… What I’ve been seeing since Rebellion is now what I was expecting to see…
On the menu this week, from Philadelphia, Taya Valkyrie is putting the Knockouts title on the line against Madison Rayne. LAX is also putting the Tag Team belts on the line against The North. Sami Callihan and Fallah Bahh will square off. Some 4-Man X-Division is announced. And, the Fly “Back to 1996 and ECW” was announced on gate Main Event, as Tommy Dreamer and Rob Van Dam will compete for the 1,256 times… So no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
- Sami Callihan defeated Fallah Bahh (w/ Scarlett Bordeaux)
- Tommy Dreamer talked about the first time he wrestled Rob Van Dam (1996). They had a long feud which carried over into WWE, and now (all these years later) it continues with Impact. He felt so proud to be facing RVD for what is likely the last time, it’s an honour. Tommy knew he’s going to bring it and for one last time, they’re taking it the extreme.
- Johnny Impact commented on helping Elgin last week and said he did that because he’s #1 contender to Swann’s title and didn’t want him in the hospital. Elgin interrupted the interview. They teased Impact & Elgin vs. Swann & Mack.
- Impact Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie defeated Madison Rayne. Post-match, Rosemary arrived and made it clear that she wants a title shot.
- The Deaners were eating junk food and drinking beers.
- Father James Mitchell told Rosemary “well played”. He’s always seen Rosemary like family, but her stealing bridesmaids was treading the line. Rosemary showed no mercy, telling Mitchell she got everything they wanted, and he needed to crawl back to wherever he came from. Rosemary said Su Yung was wearing the dress she killed Allie in, and that it’s the dress she’ll die in.
- Eddie Edwards reflected on the death of Kenneth last week and challenged Kross for next week, promising to break Kross in half for revenge.
- No more smoke for The Rascalz but serious training.
- Impact World Tag Team Champions LAX w/ Konnan defeated The North
- Disco Inferno’s Special Exhibition ended up with Ashley Vox facing him and Tessa Blanchard making him run off.
- Dezmond Xavier defeated Ace Austin, Petey Williams and Rohit Raju
- Rob Van Dam defeated Tommy Dreamer. Post-match, The North attack both men. Moose joined in, lights went out and Sabu appeared to make the save. The ECW veterans cleared the ring and stood tall after Sabu threw chairs at The North and Van Dam finished Moose with a Van Daminator.
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– Sami Callihan vs. Fallah Bahh
Scarlett was at ringside. Sami attacked at the bell, but Bahh cut him off with a running cross body. The corner splash and chops followed and then Bahh tossed him around. The slam and a falling head butt connected. Sami now bit Bahh’s toes and followed with strikes. Bahh fired back and Sami bailed to the floor. Bahh followed and laid in chops and strikes. Sami strangled the eyes, and they traded chops. Back in, Sami cut him off and clotheslined him back to the floor. Bahh made it back in and Sami attacked his feet, ripping at the toes and biting them again. Sami followed with strikes, Bahh fired up again, but Sami cut him off again and grounded the action.
Bahh fought back to his feet, he was pissed and no sold Sami’s chops. Bahh now connected with palm strikes and hit a rolling senton, a belly-to-belly suplex, and the side effect. He looked for the Banzai drop, but Sami rolled away. Sami punched at the feet of Bahh, and the running knee followed. Bahh battled back with a Samoa drop, looked for the Banzai drop again but the Crist brothers arrived for the distraction. They cornered Scarlett but she fought them off and hit an apron cannonball. Bahh hit an Island driver. Scarlett held open the ropes so Bahh hit the suicide dive on the Crists. But back in, Sami cut him off with the Cactus Spike Special Piledriver and put his feet on the ropes for the win.
– Impact Knockouts Champion Taya Valkyrie vs. Madison Rayne
Rayne chased right away, hit the spear and followed with strikes and the enzuigiri. Rayne took her to the buckles, followed with more strikes and then hit a high cross. Post break, Rayne hit a cutter. Taya tried to bail. Rayne followed but got cut off and Taya started attacking the knee. Back in, Taya stayed focused on the knee. She followed with strikes, but Rayne fired back only to be cut off as she went back to the leg. Rayne tried to fire back, but Taya maintained control as she continued to attack the knee and locked on the Single leg Boston crab.
Rayne escaped, but Taya kicked out the leg and kept her grounded. The catatonic followed but Rayne fired back, attacked Taya’s knee and hit the tornado DDT. She followed with strikes, but Taya used the referee as a shield and attacked Rayne’s knee. Rayne fought back, got the Single leg Boston crab, but Taya made the ropes. Superkick by Taya, the knee strike followed. Rayne fought off The Road to Valhalla, but Taya grabbed the referee and then hit another to retain.
– Impact Word Tag Team Champions LAX vs. The North
Konnan was at ringside. Santana and Alexander locked up to begin, they worked to the ropes and Alexander followed with strikes. Ortiz tagged in and cradled Alexander. Double teams followed on Alexander, and then Page, as they cleared the ring. The North cut them off on dives and, back in, Alexander hit the Finlay roll, Page tagged in and covered. The challengers worked quick tags, isolating Ortiz and keeping the heat. Alexander followed with strikes, Page tagged back in and grounded the action.
Ortiz managed to fight back with a neck breaker, Alexander cut off the tag and Ortiz hit the snap slam on Page. Wholesale changes to Santana and Alexander, Santana ran wild and dumped Page. The TKO on Alexander followed, Ortiz tagged in and double teams followed as the Champions ran wild. Alexander fought them off, Page in and they worked double team moves too. It broke down, the North hit the double iconoclasm and Santana made the save. They dumped Santana, but he then took out Page. LAX double-teamed Alexander, hit a flurry of kicks, and the double inside out slam deal finished him.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
Are you ready? I’m unleashing the bombs…
– So, Michael Elgin still wants to send everyone to the hospital? Wonderful, not-Nygma 3,000%…
– Less than 4 minutes for a 4-Man X-Division match, I call that a joke…
– Glenn Gilbertti… Period…
– 150 years at the same time in the ring, some dinosaurs fainted in museums when they were told…
The Nygma’s Award of the Week
– Scarlett Bordeaux
One Nygma Award for 3 months… Sami Callihan spat at her face, she mastered the Crist Brothers. Real girls know how to have fun…
– The North
The potential in these 2 guys is huge, I told you many times before. This first match left a lot of meat on the bone for future matches, and endless possibilities…
A storyline we wish it could have lasted way longer than it did. But Taya was away, then Rosemary was injured. The Demon and La Wera Loca still have a lot to bring out of each other…
To be eNYGMAtic…
What to say about this episode… It started pretty well… and it sank quicker than the Titanic… We’re not moving forward, we’re coming right back to the past. May everyone be ecstatic about ECW Legends in the Impact Zone, I am not. I even think those matches are giving like a massive middle finger right to the face of the current roster who has been busting their asses to make this show at least interesting.
Next week, I’m celebrating my 2-year anniversary at the helm of this review. When I look at the picture below, I ask myself a lot of questions… On this truly “I missed the Disco again and I still can’t make it” note, until next week (maybe), never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage custom made by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag @vulturehoundmag.