The Dark War – From The Impact Zone – March 8th, 2019

Las Vegas has earned its nickname, more than ever. In the Impact Zone, wrestling is making every Deadly Sin coexist. The pride of being and staying a Champion. The greed of becoming the Champion. The lust of watching a beautiful woman showing her assets. The envy of creating a family again. The wrath of creating a world of Doom. The sloth of being mean when you can be a fighting or defending person.
The Dark War… Bodies and souls squaring off to make the darkness become light again… Since Rosemary’s return, we have all been expecting this moment to happen. This week, it’s time, who will lose her soul in this Dark War? Who is ready to sell her soul to the Devil himself? The Dark War is not the only match on the menu this week as The Rascalz will compete against The Lucha Brothers, Ace Austin will make his debut in the Impact Zone, Rich Swann will defend the X-Division title against “All Ego” Ethan Page. We’ll also hear about Alisha Edwards who has great news to share with us.
So, no more words, let’s get ready for some action, but your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

  • X-Division Champion Rich Swann defeated Ethan Page. After the match, oVe arrived and Sami Callihan says tonight is the night for Swann to join oVe. They are family, so he gave Swann an oVe shirt. Swann hugged Sami, letting think he’s in, putting on the shirt. But Swann attacked and laid them all out and bailed.
  • In LAX’s lair, Konnan said that they wouldn’t be in this position if they didn’t do things on their own. Konnan will get them their rematch.
  • Cage was interviewed after his loss on last week’s episode of Impact. With blood covering his face, he could barely stand and the referee broke up the attempt at an interview.

  • Ace Austin defeated Jake Atlas.
  • Interview of Johnny Impact and Taya Valkyrie. Johnny was confronted about letting Brian Cage down in the main event last week. Impact said that he did indeed let Cage down, but injuries happened and he didn’t intend for that. He added that even if he does have to get neck surgery, he will be a man of his word and defend his title against Cage.
  • Backstage, Reno Scum talked about the fluke victory that KM and Fallah Bahh got in their return last week. They told Bahh/KM that they’re going to be silenced by the violence.

  • Alisha Edwards came out to make an important announcement. She thanked Impact for being able to show the fans that anything is possible. Edwards told the crowd that she had fun coming out each week and hitting people with kendo sticks, however, it might be time for her to stay home and start a family with Eddie.
    The Desi Hit Squad interrupted her. Rohit Raju told Alisha that she’s making sense because women’s jobs are to be at home as a housewife. Gama and Raj Singh reinforce the belief that women should just stay home and serve their man. She slapped Gama right in the face.
    Eddie came out and hit the whole Squad with his kendo stick. Rohit and Raj double-teamed Eddie and stomped away at him in the corner. Eli Drake came out and acted like he was going to help them continue stomping on Edwards. Instead, Eli helped Eddie out and hit the Gravy Trains on Raju and Singh as Gama slithered out of the ring. Drake told Eddie to think about it as he exited the ring and walked up the ramp.
  • Backstage, Cage was interviewed once again but he was disgusted by Menendez’s reporting. Cage pushed him out of the way and continued down the hallway.
  • Eddie and Alisha argued, and Eddie then thanked Drake. Drake said they need to go for tag gold, Alisha called him stubborn and said they may have something and Drake may be the only one Eddie has left. Drake said he and Edwards will face The Desi Hit Squad next week.

  • Backstage, Moose and Killer Kross were interviewed. Moose said that he feels fabulous and boasts about his clothes. Kross told him that he’s a fan of his fashion sense. Kross said to Johnny Impact that next time he sees John and he doesn’t have a title shot ready for them, he’s going to send him back to the hospital. 
  • The Rascalz’s “70s Show” pot smoking parody, with Dez telling Trey and Wentz that they needed to wear masks to really go toe-to-toe with the Lucha Bros. He held up Kikutaro’s mask to Wentz’s horror, thinking he ripped his face off. They made jokes about Moose trying to hit on Melissa just before the break. They agreed to let down the masks and continue with their usual, Rascalz secret handshake.
  • Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Kiera Hogan defeated Su Yung, Dark Allie & an Undead Maid of Honor w/ Father James Mitchell. As per the rules, Rosemary won Dark Allie’s soul, so she put some sort of leash on her and began to lead her to the back. James Mitchell had to hold Yung back as she writhed, distraught.

  • Backstage, Glenn Gilbertti came up to Konnan and asked him about what’s going on with Impact management and Don Callis. He convinced Gilbertti to go into Callis’ office and tell him that he can kick his ass. Gilbertti did just that, however, he ended up yelling at Killer Kross about how he can definitely kick his ass. Kross tested that theory and attacked Gilbertti.
  • Back from commercials, Gilbertti was still trying to find Impact higher-ups. He thought he heard Vince Russo and then thought he saw Jeff Jarrett but was wrong both times. He then thought he saw Cody & The Bucks and tried to get a job with AEW. Disco finally headed to commentary to meet with Callis and joined Mathews and Callis.
  • In the ring, Josh Matthews introduced Scarlett Bordeaux. He asked her why she chose herself as the winner of her Talent Search. She thought it was pitiful that all those men were trying so hard to win her managerial services. Bordeaux says that Gilbertti had the most embarrassing talent search video out of everyone. Gilbertti asked Bordeaux what was wrong with her. He asked her why she wants to wrestle if she knows she’s going to suck at it?
    He ran down women’s wrestling, saying the women’s revolution is causing her to think irrationally, and added the only good women’s wrestling was bra and panties matches. Bordeaux calls Gilbertti misogynistic, slapped him and said she can kick his ass. Disco told her to go home and go shopping and cook. She then came back, tried to kick his ass and promised to make him her bitch.

  • Backstage, Rosemary told Hogan and Grace to leave and go home, as Allie was her’s now. Hogan refused and said that they are going to stay until the end. Rosemary told her that this is the end for her.
  • Backstage, Melissa Santos told Tessa Blanchard that she will face Jodynne Grace in a couple of weeks and the winner will get a Knockouts Championship match if she wins. Blanchard told her that she always gets what she wants, and if she has to beat Jordynne Grace for the opportunity, so be it.
  • Impact World Tag Team Champions The Lucha Brothers (Pentagon Junior & Fénix) defeated The Rascalz (Zachary Wentz & Dezmond Xavier). After the match, Penta & Fénix celebrated and headed to the back. They were welcomed by Konnan. Penta said that LAX should not be messing with their masks. They thought they deserve mutual respect between everyone. Konnan asked for a rematch but The Lucha Brothers were thinking that it was too soon. Konnan said that he was not asking for the Tag Title rematch, he was demanding it and said they need to give him a day the next time they meet.

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– Rich Swann vs. Ethan Page
A classic X-Division opener, the best way to open an Impact episode. Since Homecoming, we have really found out about Ethan Page as a wrestler. On his own, he’s able to show us how good he is.
Swann and Page locked up. Swann pulled Page into a headlock followed by a series of reversals until Swann hit Page with a dropkick. Swann unloaded chops but Page dropped him with a right and stomped away. Swann connected with a hurricanrana and a comeback kick. Page leapt over Swann in the corner and hit an uppercut. Swann hit a kick but Page connected with a reverse suplex. Page continued with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker, stomps, knees and a forearm to Swann’s back. Swann fought back but ate a spinning elbow from Page. 

Page taunted the audience, allowing Swann to knock Page with elbows, kicks and a blockbuster. Swann leapfrogged Page, causing him to fall through the ropes and to the outside. Swann connected with a Tope Suicide over the ropes, he pulled Page back in the ring and connects with the frog splash. Swann climbed to the top rope but Page forced him to lose his balance. Page connected with a unique arm drag and a variation of the Snow Plow. After some back and forth, Page hit a big boot to throw Swann off, but later ate Swann’s boot. The two traded some sharp kicks until Swann hits the springboard cutter and a Phoenix Splash for the win.

– The Dark War – Team Rosemary (Rosemary, Jordynne Grace & Kiera Hogan) vs. Team Su (Su Yung, Dark Allie & An Undead Maid of Honor)
I wish it could have been something else. It was more of a classic 6-Woman match than a dark, gloomy, cinematic bout.
Rosemary’s team connected with clotheslines to Yung’s team. Hogan hit a dropkick and multiple running attacks on Yung in the corner turnbuckles. Rosemary and Allie were tagged in. Allie avoided Rosemary and tagged the Maid. Rosemary attacked her and put her in the Tarantula. Grace and Allie were tagged in, Allie attacked Rosemary but ate a German suplex from Jordynne. Hogan in but Allie connected with a neckbreaker on the ropes to Hogan. Back from break, Yung was in control. Allie was tagged in and hit Hogan with a clothesline in the corner, followed with stomps on a seated Hogan. Yung back in stomped at Hogan and hit a clothesline.

She tied Hogan in a straight jacket submission and tagged Allie who continued the pressure on Hogan. Eventually, Rosemary was tagged in and she came face to face with Allie. She mesmerized her and knocked Yung out of the ring. Rosemary connected with a reverse DDT on Allie. The Maid came in and hit a sidewalk slam on Rosemary. Hogan kicked the Maid out. Yung unloaded the Panic Switch on Hogan. Grace hit the sit-out full nelson Slam on Yung. Allie took out Grace with a codebreaker. Hogan suicide dove Yung to let Rosemary spear the Maid Of Honor for the win. Wasn’t Allie the legal woman?

– The Lucha Brothers vs. The Rascalz
I think most of Impact Wrestling fans were expecting this match. The clash can only be something crazy, high-flying, innovative… But it was a little too short…
The match started out as quick as expected, with Dez and Fénix locking up. They tested strength and Dez pulled Fénix into a headlock. He came off the ropes and rocked Fénix with a shoulder tackle, however, Fenix nips up instantly. Dez connected with a superkick to Fénix. Fenix dodged some shots and the Lucha Brothers went on a swift flurry of kicks on both Wentz and Dez. Penta attacked Wentz on the outside while The Lucha Brothers connected with a codebreaker, double stomp, and a wheelbarrow splash on Dez. 

Fénix chopped Wentz out of the ring and kicked at the back of Dez’s head. Dez fought back and forced Fénix to spear into the abdomen of Penta. Wentz tagged in and delivered a flurry of shots, kicks, and an enzuigiri to Fénix. He knocked Penta off the apron and gave Fénix a running knee strike in the corner. Wentz connected with a springboard knee on Fénix. He hit some knees on Wentz’s head as he attempted a suplex. Wentz hopped to the second rope but Penta kicked the feet out from under him. 

Wentz hit a kick to Penta’s head on the ring apron that sent him to the outside. Wentz was also knocked to the outside. Fénix tried to follow up but he has knocked off the top rope to the floor. Wentz launched Dez over his head with a Tope Suicide over the ring post and onto The Lucha Bros. They hit top rope Swanton and flying attacks. Fénix and Dez knocked one another with chops and forearms. Dez was superkicked out of the ring. Wentz ate a superkick and a Pentagon driver for the win.

The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week (or the Nygma’s Broken Record Moment of the Week)

March 8 is International Women’s Day… And The Desi Hit Squad and Glenn Gilbertti made us come back to an age I wish I could have forgotten… Women’s wrestling is all about bra and panties matches… Women should be at home, cooking, cleaning and taking care of the kids… Are you serious?
My name is Stephanie, I have a job, I have a family, I run my home, I go shopping, I cook (very well…), AND I’m a wrestling editor, reviewer and interviewer. The only person I will always serve is myself. So be it… 

The Nygma’s Award of the Week

– Alisha Edwards and Scarlett Bordeaux
A Nygma Award to Scarlett Bordeaux, yes, and she earned it. She said the word I wanted to hear, misogynistic. If you really think Scarlett can’t kick ass, mostly of a man, you’re damn wrong. When she will wrestle, the world is finally going to find out how good she is in a ring… What I’ve been looking forward to for a long time now…
Alisha Edwards has more balls than a lot of men in this business and she’s damn good a kendo stick in hand. She was involved in matches and storylines only strong women could have cope with. Yes, she can start a family and play with a kendo stick. Yes, you can be a wife and a wrestler, what Eddie told me he was very proud of. 

– Ace Austin
I wish I could have put his match in the Nutcrackers, but it was a debut match. 
At only 22, the One True Ace is mastering his game like no other. If you remember well, the Ace of Spades already graced the Impact Zone last year, when he teamed up with Zachary Wentz and Trey Miguel against oVe. I already said it on him, Dez, Wentz and Trey, but “Like I said about Zachary Wentz, the indy wrestling sensations are custom-made for Impact Wrestling, mostly for X-Division. Just for that, it worths a Nygma Award.”

– Rosemary
I have a confession to make. When she came back, I thought it was not Rosemary who was right there, in the ring. Not that I couldn’t believe it, but I couldn’t recognize her. She’d been away for nearly a year, which is a very long time. This week, the woman I saw wrestling was definitely Rosemary. I’m at the same time happy and relieved. The Demon Assassin is definitely back…

To be eNYGMAtic…

Some action, and good action, but way too much backstage moments, like last week. If only Lucha Brothers vs. The Rascalz could have last longer… The Dark was not as dark as I was expecting… But there was action…
Nice work from Impact on Women’s Day, they slapped in the face of male’s clichés about women. The company was able to show that if some people can stick to old clichés about women, whether they are wrestling or not, Impact Knockouts are able to defend themselves from them. And because Impact Knockouts are epitomizing every woman in this world, when they fight for themselves, they fight for all the women in this world. That, gentlemen, is what I call moving forward.

On this very feministic note, until next week, never EVER forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage by @frenchnygma exclusively for @vulturehoundmag and @steelchairmag.

Comment