Super Smash Bros. Ultimate is coming and it’s bringing everyone with it. No, literally everyone. Apart from Waluigi. The Smash Bros. series, if you’ve not noticed by now, are Nintendo-exclusive fighting games where you can play out all your hypothetical party scraps to your heart’s delight: StarFox and Kirby vs Ice Climbers and Ganondorf on the Jungle Japes map from Donkey Kong Country anyone?
With recent announcements of every character from previous games returning, to new additions such as King K Rool (I called it) and Ridley, we here at VultureHound thought we’d pitch a few you hadn’t considered. Spoiler alert: I’m not mentioning Crash Bandicoot, Lara Croft, Spyro The Dragon, Bomberman, Jazz, Shovel Knight or Waluigi because they’re too obvious. Also, no more Pokémon. We’ve got enough of the blighters.
Nights Into Dreams: Claris & Elliot
Now, we’re not starting with a dreaded dual fighter, even I’m not that brazen, but as both of them transform into the same Purple Court Jester in their dreams, why not give people the chance to choose between playing as your choice of tormented-child turned night-fighter?
So how would they fight? It would be an interesting proposal but you know what? We’ve already got Princess Rosalina and Jigglypuff so probably somewhere between those two but with a lot more hovering. Plus, they’ve got that one big attack, it’s kind of a headbutt but sometimes also a dropkick. Either way, it could be quite fun if you like floaty things. With Sonic already making his return, perhaps it’s time to make him feel less isolated and include some more of SEGA’s best-loved icons.
Accompanying Stage: Twin Seeds that shifts into Nightopia the longer the level goes on.
Support Trophy: Amigo from Samba De Amigo, if for no other reason than to see what would happen when the Maracas of Amigo meet the Congas of Donkey Kong.
Toejam & Earl: Toejam & Earl
Platforming’s greatest and funkiest heroes deserve a place alongside Mario, Sonic, Man – both Pac & Mega – and what better game to show their place in such hallowed company than their inclusion in this, the ultimate edition of the Nintendo Fighting Summit? Working as a team, Toejam & Earl was for many children of the Megadrive/Genesis generation, the introduction to funk and also, the introduction to media that is probably improved by marijuana or at least inspired by it. Now here, is where I bring in the dreaded Dual-Fighter suggestion, like Ice Climbers before them, how could you choose but one?
With Earl, the muscleman backing up Toejam, who could bash you with eyeballs, they could make for a fun close-range brawling team as well as being able to employ some B Button tag-moves. I, for one, want to see a T-J & E fastball special, Toejam would obviously be the Colossus.
Accompanying Stage: Funkytown. I don’t know how you’d take the isometric viewpoint and translate it to a 2-D environment but the soundtrack would be ace.
Support Trophy: Funky Kong. I know he wasn’t in the game but it ain’t nothin’ but the funk.
Soul Calibur x Tekken: Yoshimitsu
The only fighter to be in every main game of both of the series above, Yoshimitsu could be a great pick to add into this series. Considering Link’s own placement in the Gamecube edition of Soul Calibur 2 and Street Fighter‘s Ryu already having taken up residence in the Smash Bros. zone, it would be good to have another fighting game legend forming ranks, and while he’s another sword-based fighter, his unique moveset and penchant for Katana-pogoing could distinguish him quite thoroughly from the likes of Ike and Link.
I’m including both editions of the most noble warrior of the Manji clan because you could include some of the best of his costumes from both series’, mixing the classic Katana with the futuristic laser sword he employs later on. Plus, as a character with already a pre-made moveset, it would save time in design. Also, Wario on his motorbike vs Yoshimitsu on his pogo-sword is money and you all know it.
Accompanying Stage: Ostrheinsburg Castle, purely so that I can show off that I didn’t even need to Google the spelling of Ostrheinsburg
Support Trophy: Heihachi and not just a Mii Costume this time.
Undertale: Sans & Papyrus
Undertale has become something of a phenomenon, the likes of which you rarely see from a standalone entry, in gaming at least. Not a part of a series, not based on an existing property, just an interesting Indie RPG that has become popular simply from being really rather good. While not the protagonists, surely the breakout characters of the game are the pun-obsessed skeletal brothers, Sans and Papyrus.
I know that in the form of Toejam & Earl, I’ve already pitched one Dual-Fighter, but allow me the indulgence of suggesting another because Mr Game & Watch can’t be left as the only pixellated Black & White characters. While, as I have already mentioned, there is an abundance of sword-based fighters already, they are severely lacking in puns and though the hyperactive style of the games already has heaps of visual humour, it does lack in the verbal department. Plus, Tatsumi Kimishima, if you’re reading this, you have no idea how many copies of the game (and accompanying Amiibos) you can sell of these two to Emo Gamer Kids™.
Accompanying Stage: New Home. I mean look at that image below and tell me it’s not a perfect stage.
Support Trophy: Flowy. I know, this game is getting gradually darker.
Viewtiful Joe: Joe
“Henshin a gogo baby” utters our hero, his catchphrase becoming his “Shazam”, the thing that transforms him from an Average Joe into something more Viewtiful. Joe, the hero of a series of side-scrolling beat ’em up adventures, was like a cel-shaded Last Action Hero, having to go into the movie he’s watching to save his girlfriend, but so aware of his surroundings, that when he’s at full power, he can slow down time, fast forward and rewind it, and generally control his surroundings in delightfully post-modern ways. As well as being a fighting game character, to begin with, Joe has also appeared in the Marvel vs Capcom series, Tatsunuoko vs Capcom and his very own Smash Bros-style game, Viewtiful Joe: Red Hot Rumble.
The advantage of Joe’s unique position is that, much like Samus before him, will people find him to be too overpowered? Have him turn into standard Joe if he’s too effective. Beyond that, maybe if he’s popular enough in the game, Capcom will consider making another proper adventure in the Viewtiful series. I can’t have his anime be the last proper memory of one of the best heroes of the Gamecube era. It was really quite bad
Accompanying Stage: Movieland, make it one of those side-scrolling stages everyone loves.
Support Trophy: Phoenix Wright. Is anyone going to Object?
Paper Mario: Everyone
There’s not really much to say here other than please give me alternate outfits of the entire Mario extended universe but in their paper forms, if we can call Toon Link a separate character from Link, we can have Paper Mario as well as standard and Doctor, though I am calling for outfits of Paper Luigi, Bowser, Peach, Yoshi etc. While I’m on the topic, 3DS remake of Thousand Year Door please?
Accompanying Stage: Paper Mushroom Kingdom. Like standard mushroom kingdom but Paper.
Support Trophy: Goombario, Kooper, Bombette, Parakarry, Lady Bow, just bring all the partners.
Dragon Quest VIII: Yangus
This is definitely influenced by my personal feelings that Dragon Quest VIII: Journey of the Cursed King might well be the greatest turn-based RPG in the history of the medium, I am willing to hear arguments for the Golden Sun series but, cor blimey, they don’t have Yangus. Everyone’s favourite spikey-hatted, fur-vested Ray Winstone-esque barbarian, Yangus is an important character in video games history because he is a traditional ‘ard man’ type but one who goes on his own journey of discovering more empathy and humanity, taking the legit path over falling into his old, cutthroat ways.
Beyond that, he also had axes, clubs, scythes, spells and fisticuffs so has a wide-enough moveset to make for an inspired addition to the repetoire. Most importantly, with the unrepresented artstyle in Smash Bros. of Akira Toriyama, he would both fit in and stand out, falling somewhere between Toon Link and King Dedede. This is also your reminder that if you haven’t played Dragon Quest VIII, get yourself either a copy for PS2 or 3DS immediately. As in right now!
Accompanying Stage: Castle Trodain, you can have Slimes bouncing about it’ll be a gas.
Support Trophy: The Hero. Look, we don’t need another playable sword-man. We already have the assorted cast of Fire Emblem. Or if we want to go full Toriyama, Goku.
Now, this even by some of my long-shots is a long shot but frankly, if we’re having this ultimate Video Games fighting summit, why not finally answer the question of Pokémon vs Digimon in the form of Charizard vs Greymon? If you don’t know, Digimon were like cyberpunk Pokémon with a better theme tune, Agumon, the Charmander of that universe, was a yellow lizard with an oddly large head, his evolution, Greymon (and third tier, MetalGreymon, who was Greymon with a second helmet) was a larger lizard with a helmet.
Now, despite the aforementioned better theme tune and arguably, better first movie, Digimon have struggled to really make a mark in the video game environment but that doesn’t mean that a game like Smash Bros. couldn’t use any more big dragons in it, purely by combining Charizard and Bowser’s movesets you have a basis for Greymon (which also I should add in, if they want to include Spyro, make him the Cpt. Falcon to Bowser’s Ganondorf). Who can honestly say they have enough in the way of dragons headbutting each other?
Accompanying Stage: Somewhere in the Digiverse, I didn’t really research this one.
Support Trophy: Patamon, who doesn’t love that little head-winged sucker?
No More Heroes: Travis Touchdown
Why Travis Touchdown? Even if you’re arguing in favour of the inclusion of someone from the SUDA 51 back-catalogue, why Travis? For one thing, he is easily the most easily translatable into the Smash style, the most accessible game potentially as well but most importantly, I have no idea how you’d even begin to explain Lollipop Chainsaw to anyone who hasn’t played it or convince them she’s suitable anywhere near a children’s game. This coming from someone who is all for Bayonetta’s inclusion.
Touchdown is the hero of No More Heroes, a game series about defeating the villains you treat as heroes and in doing so, realising you didn’t need them because you’re now better than them. The hyper-kinetic cel-shading of those games, combined with creator Goichi Suda’s own start having directed early editions of the Fire Pro Wrestling series suggest that Touchdown is the sort of oddball choice perfectly placed for inclusion in the Smash-verse, especially as his light-cycle antics could be ported directly from Wario’s own motorbike-based attacks. The one issue Touchdown has is his lightbeam sword, alongside the prior pitched Yoshimitsu, there’s already a NOT-LIGHTSABRE weapon included in the game, so how do you make it clear that his is different from the already available item? Well, that’s not for me to worry about, I’m just here pitching to you the inclusion in a game with a 7+ rating various ultraviolent video games characters.
Accompanying Stage: Santa Destroy town centre. Have beam bikes just crashing into stuff. Anarchy and all that. It’d be grand.
Support Trophy: The Killer7. I don’t know how my version of Smash Bros. doesn’t have an 18 rating but it’ll be great.
WWE: Tommaso Ciampa
Well if WWE isn’t going to include their NXT Champion in 2K19, then why not have him in a game more worthy of his talents. You may think this is a ridiculous suggestion, a wrestler in a non-wrestling game but Xavier Woods is in Super Bomberman, ‘Rowdy’ Roddy Piper is in Saint’s Row IV, CM Punk is in UFC 2 and is given a rating of 82/100 even with an 0-2 record. Also, no, unlike Woods in the aforementioned Bomberman game, I don’t want a cartoon version of Ciampa, I want full photo-realistic Ciampa, rippling abs, giant beard, shit-eating grin and all. Mostly I say this because if you don’t think that King Dedede wouldn’t sell an Air Raid Crash perfectly, you’re wrong.
Accompanying Stage: A WWE ring. Luckily they have a few of them already in the game so it’s just a matter of re-skinning.
Support Trophy: Johnny Gargano. He did help Ciampa win the title after all.