Of Hardcore, Smoke and Craziness – From the Impact Zone- August 23rd, 2018

One week before Impact: Redefined and we can hope the title will fit the content… To quote Impact, “2018 has redefined how people see IMPACT Wrestling as a new generation of performers brings you an amazing show every week.” That’s true, definitely true. And this week, the long story between Sami Callihan and Pentagon Junior continues with a Mexican Death match, with everyone banned from ringside. Matt Sydal will be in action, Brian Cage will speak. KM and Fallah Bahh will square off with the Desi Hit Squad. Kiera Hogan will face Alisha Edwards. And LAX will party while Eddie Edwards will kick off the show. No more words, let’s get ready for some action so, your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The Nygma’s Chart of the Week

  • Eddie Edwards said he had a dream of smashing Austin Aries and Killer Kross with his kendo stick. He offered them to come to the ring. Kross and Aries destroyed him but, when Aries tried to break Eddie’s neck with a chair, Moose made the save.
  • The oVe Creepy Cam showed Sami Callihan blaming Penta for all his problems, while Alisha Edwards was happy to see Moose back.
  • Matt Sydal defeated Zachary Wentz
  • X-Division Champion Brian Cage cut a promo on being the best and facing off Fénix next week
  • KM & Fallah Bahh defeated Desi Hit Squad w/ Gama Singh
  • Grado was the guest of Scarlett Bordeaux’s Smoke Show
  • Kiera Hogan w/Allie defeated Alisha Edwards

  • Allie cut a promo on all the Knockouts Su Yung destroyed. She challenged Tessa and Su for a triple threat match for the Knockouts Championship
  • Kongo Kong attacked Johnny Impact at a pool party and was dumped in the pool
  • Rich Swann told Alicia Atout he wants the X-Division championship and to be added to the great list of names that have held the title. He will face Petey Williams next week
  • Pentagon Junior promised to make Sami Callihan respect him
  • Brandon Tidwell & Mr Atlantis defeated Trevor Lee & Caleb Konley, Eli Drake was at the announce table
  • LAX celebration turned into a murder party when a car driven by the OGz ran over a child
  • Sami Callihan defeated Pentagon Junior in a Mexican Death Match

The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week

– Sami Callihan vs. Pentagon Junior
To explain what a Mexican Death Match is, Josh Mathews said it was a Falls Count Anywhere Hardcore match, with no rules, everyone banned from ringside and all weapons allowed. But at first, I have a philosophical question for you: are Legos® really a hardcore weapon? (You have 4 hours…) I’m ok with chairs, tables, piñatas, a baseball bat, a staple gun, clippers, trashcans… but Legos®?
They immediately dropped to the floor, grabbed chairs to fight with and then traded kicks. Pentagon hit a sling blade and some chops. Pentagon took off Sami’s jacket and laid in more chops, but Sami dared him to throw more, what Pentagon did. The Luchador set up chairs and took Sami up top but Sami slipped out and powerbombed Pentagon onto the chairs. Sami set up a table against the barricade, but Pentagon knocked Sami to the floor. He followed with a tope through a table.
After commercials, Pentagon grabbed a piñata, tossed it to Sami and then superkicked it into his face. Pentagon ripped it open and found out a staple gun. Pentagon stapled him in the arms and in his manhood (okay, let’s say it, the nuts). Pentagon then stapled Sami’s cap to his head and then ripped it off before a backstabber.

Pentagon ripped open another piñata and pulled out clippers. After all, why not shaving his beard after shaving his hair at Slammiversary? But Callihan fought him off and tossed them. They fought now to the floor. Sami set up a table, they traded kicks, Sami connected with a trashcan shot. He opened a guitar-shaped piñata and pulled out a bat. He put the trashcan on Pentagon’s head and hit some baseball bat shots. But Pentagon fought back with a Death Valley Driver on Sami through the table on the floor. Back in the ring, Penta ripped open another piñata and made LEGOS® fall in the ring.  Sami hit the package piledriver into the LEGOS® but Pentagon replied with a nutcracker and a package piledriver. Pentagon slid a table in the ring, laid Sami on it and headed up top. Low blow by Pentagon, package piledriver by Pentagon and that gets 2. Pentagon slides in another table, lays Sami on it and heads up top. But Sami cut him off, followed him up, strangled Penta’s eyes Sami and hit the Cactus Piledriver through the table for the win.
Again Callihan and Penta offered 15 minutes of pure pleasure. Not as bloody and violent as their other confrontations, but a great wrestling match. They’ve really become our Thursday/Friday’s night delight.

– Kiera Hogan vs. Alisha Edwards
The match itself was not a great match but it’s a way for me to say how I appreciated seeing Mrs AIP back in the Impact Zone. And also noticing how Kiera Hogan has improved in just a few months, since her debut.
Allie was out with Hogan but never interfered in the match. Kiera and Alisha locked up, work into some back and forth, and Hogan grounded the action. Alisha fought back and got a cradle. They gradually traded pin attempts until Alisha cut Kiera off and hit a sliding clothesline and some forearm strikes. She connected with corner forearms and a neck breaker. Hogan cut Alisha’s momentum with some dropkicks into the buckles and then hit corner attacks. Alisha replied with a flatliner but missed a high cross. Hogan hit a kind of bulldog but Alisha quickly connected with a backpack stunner. Alisha tried to lock Hogan in a Boston Crab submission but Hogan hit a Fisherman’s neck breaker for the win. Some botched moves, some sloppy moments, but 2 great Knockouts in the ring.

The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week

KM
KM is already stupid enough on his own, but Impact Wrestling had the great idea to make him work with Fallah Bahh, a fan favourite, to expect the fans would appreciate it more. Sorry, it doesn’t work. Even more this week, when KM is decided to wrestle in Bahh’s attire. 

Trevor Lee and Caleb Konley
Trevor Lee is a former 3-time X-Division Champion. He’s young and talented, he’s teaming up with Caleb Konley, a 10-year in-ring veteran and a sensational indy wrestler. And they lose a match against 2 jobbers. Utterly counter-productive when the tag team division desperately needs some reliable teams to rise up again.

The Desi Hit Squad
The stable has been a disappointment since its debut. Raju and Singh have a serious lack of chemistry. At the same time, Gama Singh is not shown as he’s supposed to be. A real wrestling mastermind who reinvented the concept of the heel in the 80s and worked all other the world. Check his biography, you will be amazed… 

The Nygma’s “OMG” moments of the Week

Brian Cage is talking, yes!
Since his debut, we have never ever heard him speak. In a pre-taped promo, he explained he’s better than anyone else and is the guy that stands out. Lashley was the past and he’s the present because no one can do what he does. He focused on the X-Division because of its history and he wanted to re-write that history. Next week, Fénix will find out why he’s the evolution of pro wrestling. Short, simple and clear, message received Champ.

Grado is pole dancing, no!
Scarlett Bordeaux was able to make him shake his fat ass and fat bod. A nightmare even The Smoke Show is not ready to forget…

Letting think a young boy was run over by a car and may have been killed…
No comment.

The Nygma’s Award(s) of the Week

Austin Aries and Killer Kross
As long as the duo is decided to tear the Impact house down, I’m ok with it. A-Double and the C.O.A.T. can destroy everyone everywhere. It’s sickening to see how good they are and how great their chemistry is. Love it or hate it, the Nygma takes it.

Eddie Edwards
“Crazy” Eddie has become very credible in his new attitude. The way he talked about his kendo stick was like a declaration of love (poor Alisha…). If I had not been convinced before, now it works for me. Let’s see what the return of Moose will put on the table, as after all, he still earns his rematch…

Zachary Wentz
Even in a short match against Matt Sydal, the guy impressed me. In the business for less than 4 years, Wentz has been one of the sensations of indy wrestling, in the USA but also in the UK. It was not the first time he has been wrestling in the Impact Zone. But the Ohio-born wrestler (yes, another one…) mastered this match and just for that, it worths a Nygma Award.

To be eNYGMAtic…

We really have a long, long road to ride until Bound for Glory on October 14. Of course, Pentagon vs. Callihan was another great match, these two are tearing the house down when they squared off with each other. Zachary Wentz has the potential to become a major Impact Wrestling Superstar, alongside his friend Dezmond Xavier or on his own. But every good aspect of this week’s show was demolished in a few seconds by this useless segment of the OGz trying to kill LAX members and running over a child.
I’ve always been unapologetic in my Impact Wrestling reviews. Saying what’s good, what’s wrong. Laughing with you about the nut-cracking things and horror movie moments… But 
Impact: Redefined seriously has to be a good special event. Because the last few weeks were hard to appreciate. And because you agree with me, of course, I see you next week for a special Impact: Redefined review… And never forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.