Slammiversary XVI stroke hard this Sunday, by being the best PPV of the year so far. If you read my review, you know it couldn’t have been any better. But it’s now time to move forward, for all of us and also for me. You’ll find out tonight a brand-new version of the weekly review. But don’t worry, what is Nygma will always be Nygma… Action wise, the highly-expected rematch between Brian Cage and Matt Sydal for the X-Division Title is happening tonight. The blonde bombshell Scarlett Bordeaux is making her debut with Impact. Austin Aries has a few things to tell us, Johnny Impact is returning to the Impact Zone. We have a long road to ride until Bound for Glory on October 14. So no more words, let’s get ready for some action so, your French Enygma Steph way, of course…
The Nygma’s Chart of the Week
- Austin Aries’ Championship Open Challenge, Eddie Edwards replied with his kendo stick
- Taiji Ishimori defeated Petey Williams, Gama Singh and The Desi Hit Squad attacked both of them after the match.
- Backstage, Anthony Carelli (aka Santino Marella) was with the students he’s training, A-Double will square off with one of them next week
- Tessa Blanchard defeated Rebel
- The “Smoke Show” Scarlett Bordeaux made her debut and licked the microphone
- Johnny Impact defeated Trevor Lee w/ Caleb Konley, many interferences from Konley. After the match, Johnny grabbed the mic to recall his goal is the Impact World Championship. But before he has to take care of Kongo Kong
- Allie and Tessa Blanchard collided backstage, she announced she would stop Su Yung and Keira Hogan walked up to join her
- The love triangle Grado- Katarina Leigh- Joe Hendry continued. Eli Drake poured oil on the fire with one of last week’s pic
- KM wanted Fallah Bahh to find his mean streak
- Killer Kross offered another psycho promo
- The LAX OG’z are not 5150 anymore, they’re 730.
- Sami Callihan shaved a man with the help of his oVe brothers
- Impact X-Division Champion Brian Cage defeated Matt Sydal to retain the title
The Nygma’s Nutcracker(s) of the Week
– Taiji Ishimori vs. Petey Williams, destined to be a modern classic because made by 2 classy wrestlers. The Bone Soldier and the Canadian Destroyer were meant to give it all in the ring, and of course, they did.
They locked up and worked into some counters, Ishimori laid in rights and Petey hit the head scissors and a dropkick. Petey hit a code breaker, put Ishimori in the Tree of Woe, and offered, like at Slammiversary, a little “Oh Canada” nut stomper.
Ishimori picked up the pace, hit the seated senton. Petey fired back, but Ishimori cut him off and grounded the action. Petey fought back to his feet, but Ishimori grounded things again. Petey grabbed the ropes and laid in elbows, kicks. He hit an enzuigiri, a German Suplex, a side Russian leg sweep and a flatliner.
Petey went for the Destroyer, but Ishimori cut him off and hits a nice back handspring kick, the John Woo (front dropkick onto the opponent into the turnbuckles) and the double knees. Ishimori climbed up top, Petey avoided the 450, but not the double knee gutbuster. Petey replied with a powerbomb and the sharpshooter Ishimori countered. The Bloody Cross gave the win to Ishimori. Williams paid tribute to Ishimori’s talent by shaking his hand and then raising his arm.
– Sami Callihan wants to shave the whole world. Because he was shaved by Pentagon Junior, every man has to be bald too. Even the poor guy who was going to the bathroom… I don’t know a lot about men’s pride but I imagine their hair are important for them too…
– Brian Cage beating Matt Sydal a second time to remain X-Division Champion. I was requesting the rematch in the review and I wasn’t expecting it to happen that fast. Impact Wrestling capitalized on the fact that something went wrong with Sydal’s final Shooting Star Press at Slammiversary, to make it a promo where Sydal said he may have lost the physical title, but he still has his third eye.
Sydal attacked immediately but Cage caught him and slammed him into the post outside. After the break, Cage was hitting a lariat. But Sydal sent Cage to the ramp and Sydal connected with the Meteora double knees outside.
Back in the ring, Sydal laid in kicks and grounded Cage in a Muta Lock. Cage slowly fought back, but Sydal again grounded him and attacked the knee. Sydal laid in kicks and hit a corner dropkick, but Cage cuts him off with an hurricanrana, a clothesline and a pump handle Samoan drop. But Sydal countered the power slam.
Cage brought Sydal up top but Sydal cut him off to hit a kind of inverted crossbody. Sydal targeted the knee again, but Cage cut him off and hit a German suplex and a 619. Sydal fired back with a head kick, Cage countered the Chemical Imbalance, but not the hurricanrana. Cage hit a nasty F5 but it was not enough as Sydal replied with knee strikes and kicks. Cage unloaded the discus lariat and the Drill Claw to finish him. The rematch was really good and in some ways better than the Slammiversary match.
The not-Nygma’s Moment(s) of the Week
Scarlett Bordeaux made her debut and it was… strange.
When you think the same day WWE was announcing the first-ever All-Women PPV, something Impact already did before, the company was tapping this segment of a Blue Pill blonde bombshell. Bordeaux said we’re in a historic time for women, a revolution, and she wants to be an inspiration for little girls, and fight for women’s rights. Which for her means make wrestling sexy again. Wrestling is sexy enough like that, at least enough not to make Don Callis have a cardiac arrest…
The Grado/Katarina/Joe Hendry/Eli Drake thing.
“The Titanic is sinking” episode of the week and this storyline, in general, are really bringing us nowhere. Grado has huge bullhorns on his head (a very French way to say your girlfriend is cheating on you), thanks to Joe Hendry and Katarina. We can spend more weeks on it but, anyway, in the end, Eli Drake always ends up with the girl…
KM and the “redesign” of Fallah Bahh.
Fallah Bahh has been a fan favourite and his association with KM is proving he’s a man on his own. Sunglasses or not, tie or not, mean streak or not…
The Nygma’s Award(s) of the Week
When suddenly no words are necessary and a kendo stick is saying everything, Eddie Edwards has reached a new dimension. We can easily suppose Eddie is climbing the #1 contender scale by the way he attacked A-Double. We can also suppose he will be involved in next week’s match between Austin Aries and Santino’s student. The Nut-Cracking Master vs. the Bamboo-Sword Assassin, doesn’t it sound pretty good?
He’s back and he’s never been better. His “recovery” was fruitful (we all know what “really” happened). Trevor Lee is a hell of an opponent and their match was a nice way to make him come back to the Zone again, Caleb Konley’s interferences excepted.
Even if he said he’s back for the Impact World Championship, Impact claimed he still has some unfinished business with Kongo Kong as he wants to take Kong to Slam Town. Is it necessary? Johnny Impact has worked hard in the Impact Zone to grab that coveted title…
He’s my C.O.A.T. What am I supposed to add? His 60-second promo was enough to make someone sensible rush under the table. He described himself in a very sinister way? Perfect, the Nygma liked them psycho…
To be eNYGMAtic…
First of all, I hope you enjoyed this new version of the review that is absolutely Nygma, as you may have noticed. Week after week, I’ll make it evolve thanks to the twists and turns Impact will offer to us.
As far as the episode is concerned, it was not a miss, but it was not a hit too. The 3 X-Division style matches were good, nothing to say about that. But for a fallout from a PPV, this episode was incomplete. We’ll have a few more answers next week as LAX and Su Yung are set to appear, like oVe and the Lucha brothers. And because you agree with me, of course, I see you next week… And never forget to stay #eNYGMAtic…
All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.