From The Impact Zone – March 1st, 2018

Some say if you tell what you want very loud, express it with all your heart, so it will happen. I wanted, you wanted, we all wanted action in the Impact Zone. And our wish was granted. In this week’s episode, 5 matches and 3 segments announced. Laurel Van Ness will commit to her title, The Cult of Lee to its country and Matt Sydal to his desire to compete against Taiji Ishimori for the X-Division title. Kongo Kong will face Joseph Park, but not Abyss yet. Braxton Sutter will make his comeback against AAA Champion El Hijo del Fantasma. After teaming up, EC3 and Tyrus will square off. Hania will have a rematch against Rosemary. And Eddie Edwards will go one-on-one with Sami Callihan in an expected brutal bout. The last ride before Crossroads is full of promises. But no more talk, too much action to watch and review, your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

The episode started with the recap of the love/hate relationship between EC3  and Tyrus. Tyrus helped Carter, to leave him to his own fate the week after.  We already saw that before but let’s go for the 2.0 version…

EC3 vs. Tyrus

If the match lasted 8 minutes, the first 2 ones were all about Carter being at ringside, yelling at Tyrus, taunting, stretching and even borrowing the phone of a fan. When Carter was finally in the ring, Tyrus crushed, stomped and bit his hand. Carter went back to the floor in pain but, when Tyrus came close to the apron, he stunned him off the ropes. EC3 hit some chops and clotheslines, Tyrus didn’t move. But when Tyrus hit a slam and atomic drop, EC3 got it in the neck.

After a few inverted atomic drops, Tyrus slammed Carter in the corner and hit some elbows. EC3 powdered to the floor again, but this time Tyrus followed. Back in the ring, Carter unloaded strikes. EC3 hit a double sledge of the ropes and grounded Tyrus. The big behemoth battled to his feet and connected with a headbutt, a T-Bone suplex and the corner splash. But EC3 strangled his eyes. If Carter’s One Percenter was countered, Tyrus’ one connected. One chokeslam later, Tyrus got the win. We all know Carter was on his way to say goodbye but he deserved more than this non-sense comical match.

As, backstage, Joseph Park was asking Grandma Jenny to believe in him when he said he would take on Kongo Kong by himself, oVe was destroying pics of Eddie Edwards. Callihan put one together and said Edwards should not have stuck his nose in their business.

AAA Latin America Champion El Hijo del Fantasma vs. Braxton Sutter

Sutter was back in the Impact Zone and the welcoming embrace was hurtful. Some back and forth until Fantasma hit a hurricanrana and an enzuigiri. Fantasma missed a high cross, allowing Sutter to hit a short-armed clothesline and a back elbow. Sutter grounded the action with a chin lock. Fantasma rallied with a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker.

Sutter recovered with rights, chops and then stomped Fantasma. But Fantasma fought back with a jumping superkick. The suicide dive followed. Back in the ring, Sutter crushed Fantasma on the apron. He continued with a powerbomb. Fantasma rallied with knee strikes and the Thrill of the Hunt to finish Sutter.

After his loss, Sutter asked the crowd “So that’s it huh? This is Braxton Sutter on Impact Wrestling.” He said Allie ruined his life, he’s the biggest star on Impact and felt disrespected not to even get an entrance tonight. Out came Brian Cage who hit the discus lariat and hits the Drill Claw to put Sutter down. Welcome back Sutter!

To Title or not to Title?

IMPACT Grand Champion Matt Sydal said to McKenzie Mitchell he overcame the odds to find the path to enlightenment and wanted to reveal to everyone who his spiritual guide is. X-Division Champion Taiji Ishimori showed up to answer his challenge. Ishimori gave Sydal a scroll that says they should each put up their titles in an X-Division vs. Grand Championship match… and Sydal was a douchebag… Did it mean Ishimori replied positively? 

Kongo Kong (w/ Jimmy Jacobs) vs. Joseph Park

Before I talk action, did you read Jimmy Jacobs’ interview from your preferred Nygma? If not, it’s here. Park tried some chops, Kongo got nervous. He dropped, choked and swung away the poor Joseph. Park tried to reply with a headbutt that hurt me more than Kong. Joseph stumbled, Kongo hit a splash, a cannonball and another splash. Game over for Joseph Park. 

Jacobs then grabbed the mic and asked Park again to bring Abyss back. Park said no, Kong choked him with Jimmy’s scarf. Jacobs asked again if Abyss was going to come out, Park continued to say no. Jacobs said if that was the case, then they were just getting started.

The Cult of the Swimming Pool

Caleb Konley and Trevor Lee were celebrating outdoor until Konnan and The Mumbai Cats appeared. Lee said they will win the Impact Tag Titles. He apologized to The Cats for attacking them a few weeks back. Konnan talked trash, Lee replied he’s an old man talking a lot of junk. But suddenly The Cats removed their masks and here came Santana and Ortiz. They attacked and yanked the Cult of Lee over to a pool, shoved Lee and Konley’s face in the water, before tossing them in the pool. LAX added they will be back for their bandanas.

Alberto El Patron cut a promo on Aries and the title. He said a message at some point Aries or Johnny Impact will have to face him. He continued that he will get the title back because his goal is destruction.

Hania vs. Rosemary

Hania charged in, but got a bunch of chops to the chest and was launched across the ring. Rosemary sent her flying across the ring again and hit a clothesline. Hania got back with a spinning kick, missed a charge as Rosemary cut her off with the back elbow and trapped her into the tarantula. Rosemary unloaded a missile dropkick, a corner forearm and an exploder suplex. Hania tried to rally with kicks and strikes but Rosemary hit the spear. Rosemary got the win with her signature Red Wedding.

If the match was to forget, mostly because of Hania, what followed was way more interesting. Rosemary said the Wolf was nothing but a puppy (damn true…) because The Demon Assassin is the alpha b**ch. Rosemary said it was time for us to take back what rightfully belongs to the shadows. “We want that Knockouts Championship!” she yelled. But there came an old friend of Rosemary, Taya Valkyrie. Rosemary watched with ecstasy her slow walk to the ring.

Taya got in the ring and asked Rosemary,”Did you miss me?” Valkyrie claimed Rosemary is not the alpha b**ch but HER b***ch. Rosemary got in her face, ready to fight now but Valkyrie teased a walk off. She attacked Rosemary at ringside, in front of her fans, and hit The Road to Valhalla on the ramp. Taya climbed on Rosemary and laughed loudly, claiming she was the best.

Do you want to marry me, my dear Title? 

KM carried the belt to the ring and conducted the ceremony of commitment between Rosemary and the belt. KM introduced Van Ness, who came down barefoot and in a pink dress. Km claimed he was an ordained minister and married many people. Van Ness asked him to go to the good part if there were any objections.

Braxton Sutter arrived. He said after getting dropped by Brian Cage, his life flashed before his eyes and he realized the only thing important to him was Laurel. He wanted to spend the rest of his life with Van Ness and her title. He proposed to Van Ness who said a loud no and chased Sutter from the ring. KM said that was an epic fail. 

KM asked again if anyone objects, nobody answered. Laurel got mad that no one, even Allie, had any problems with that. At the same time, Allie sneaked into the ring and attacked Van Ness from behind. She bailed with the title as Allie was staring her down from the ring.

Sami Callihan (w/ his baseball bat, Jake and Dave Crist) vs. Eddie Edwards

We all know what happened in that match but we don’t know what happened before… Fast start with both wrestlers hitting multiple suicide dives to the floor. Edwards laid in chops on the outside, Callihan rolled back in the ring, but Jake and Dave Crist pulled Edwards back down to the floor. The referee sent both Jake and Dave out to the back. Callihan attacked with a big boot from the apron.  

Back from break, Callihan was in control, grounding the action. But Edwards quickly fought back with clotheslines, an atomic drop, back elbows and an overhead release belly-to-belly suplex. The match continued on the apron, Callihan fought off the tiger bomb. Both traded strikes until Callihan connected with an eye rake and a piledriver on the apron. The referee started the 10-count on Edwards. He got back in the ring to suffer from a devastating sit-out powerbomb by Callihan. Callihan unloaded chops and whipped Edwards into the turnbuckles. Modified octopus hold to keep Edwards grounded, but Eddie fought off and hit a jawbreaker.  

Edwards avoided a charge and cuts off Sami as he was climbing up top. Edwards followed and hits a  hell of a superplex. The two were slow to get up but did, to trade kicks until Edwards hit the backpack stunner. Sami tripped up Edwards and hit the running face wash (running kick to the face). The draping neck breaker followed. After a load of strikes and some back and forth kicks, both men were down. More kicks, before a superkick by Edwards, but Sami replied with a stiff lariat. Edwards countered the Cranial Contusion into a cradle for the win.

Of course, Callihan was not happy at all. He grabbed his bat and then dropped Edwards. Lashley tried to help, but oVe attacked him backstage. Callihan grabbed a chair, put it on Edwards’ chest, swang the bat which hit the chair but ricocheted off onto Edwards’ face (I let you witness that below). Nothing on Edwards bleeding in pain but we saw oVe continuing to beat up Lashley in the back. Callihan gave a thumbs up, thumbs down as the show came to an end.

In a middle of a strange quagmire of comebacks and strange commitments, we had 15 minutes of heaven. The main event was absolutely fantastic and, in many ways, made me think of what you can see in Lucha Underground. Are you ready next week to turn the last pages of this Chapter with Crossroads? If you agree with me, I see you next week with a complete report, with results and review, of Crossroads special event… And, of course, don’t forget to stay eNYGMAtic… 

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling. Photomontage by @frenchnygma exclusively for @steelchairmag.