After staying up all night to live tweet the event I now find myself writing this review on an overcrowded train, sweating my little balls off, on the way home from work. You see the things I do for you? I thought I would be able to give a better opinion of last night’s Money in the Bank now that I am no longer tired. Instead, I’m now overworked and very bothered. Prepare for a potentially cranky review of last night’s Money in the Bank. Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review (Money in the Bank special).
Getting things started in the kick off was the return of the Hype Bros as they ran through The Colons. Zack Ryder returned from a knee injury to hit Primo with a Hype Rider and seal the win. It’s now only a matter of time util Ryder turns heel and Mojo has his first meaningful feud on the main roster.
Arguably the biggest talking point of the night was the first match on the main card. The Women’s Money in the Bank Ladder Match ended in controversy as Carmella was handed the briefcase after James Ellsworth climbed the ladder and tossed it down to his “boo”. Subsequently, both Shane McMahon and Daniel Bryan have tweeted to say they will address the situation on Smackdown this Tuesday.
Clearly, this was a great way for Carmella to gain genuine heat without her even being the main culprit. Ellsworth is the perfect scapegoat due to the longevity of his WWE career being shorter than Lana and Rusev’s kayfabe break up. Now, people will say the Women’s Division was robbed of its moment but really they’ve just been booked in the exact bullshit way the men are.
The screwy finish just shows it’s Equal Opportunities after all and I’m sure there is something big planned to address this issue on Tuesday night.
If the Women’s MITB match was the only “bad” ending of the night then fans would have taken it for what it was. A clever way to put over someone as a heel but, as the night progressed, there were three bad finishes in a row which really ticked people off:
– Screwy finish 2: The New Day defeated the Usos but unfortunately did not claim the gold as they only won via count-out. After a few near falls, which almost saw the Usos lose legitimately, they decided to intentionally throw the match by count-out. They’re still Smackdown Tag Team Champions and we were, much like your mum, very upset for two poor finishes in a row.
– Screwy finish 3: Okay, so this one is less screwy but still did not make a great deal of sense and only furthered everyones scepticism of the night’s proceedings. In their match for the Smackdown Women’s Championship, Naomi, retained her title against the debuting Lana. Much to everyones delight, the Ravishing
American Russian looked to have the upper hand after hitting Naomi with the sit-out spinebuster. Yet, Mrs Money in the Bank, Carmella, accompanied by her fiend, James Ellsworth made their way to ringside and it looked as though she was going to cash-in her Money in the Bank contract. Alas, this didn’t even cause a distraction for Lana but somehow Naomi mustered the strength to win the match by submission with her headscissors crucifix choke. Carmella didn’t cash in which now legitimises her position as the top heel in the SmackDown Women’s Division.
Some other stuff:
– There was a shock return and probably one we weren’t expecting. Maria Kanellis returned but, this time, she is accompanied by her husband, Mike Bennett. The funny part is Mike has taken her name for this gimmick, so “Mike Kanellis”, got a fair bit of stick from the biggest (alleged) bully in the WWE, JBL. The pair promised to educate SmackDown on the power of love. I don’t have a clue what their gimmick is either.
– Breezango returned with another edition of the Fashion Files. Whereas the last edition saw Officer Breeze and Deputy Dango go full-scale Noir, the Money in the Bank edition had them go “Vice”. That’s right. Imagine big shoulder pads and v-necks! In their match they defeated The Ascension with relative ease but even Byron Saxton was quick to point out the repetitive booking by stating “it looks as though the Ascension file is closed. Again”. Touché.
Interestingly, the WWE Championship Match featured before the MITB Ladder match, guaranteeing there would be no cash-in on the night. That’s unless Ellsworth claimed ownership of Carmella’s briefcase and cashed in. That didn’t happen. Anyway, the match was virtually a repeat of BackLash whereby Jinder Mahal defeated Randy Orton after the latter ran into a Khallas outta nowhere. This came about as there were St. Louis-area legends sat at ringside. This, of course, included Cowboy Bob Orton who was targeted by the Singh Brothers after they were ejected for interfering in the match. Orton exacted his revenge on the men formerly known as the Bollywood Boys which is where he ultimately met his demise to the Khallas (which literally translates to “finished” by the way!). Now Orton will slip out of the main event picture it looks as though the Maharaja is set to stay at the top. That is until Cena returns and saves America. Yawn.
The main event of the night and the one we all came to see saw Baron Corbin take out Shinsuke Nakamura before the match had even started. “The Artist” was making his way to the ring when Corbin appeared from behind and took him out on the ramp. This was a tale of things to come as the Lone Wolf then went on to carve his path of destruction against his competitors. However, the best part of the match – and saving grace of the PPV – saw Nakamura return to the ring, cleaning house and then squaring off against AJ Styles for several minutes. The former New Japan stars then continued to fight on top of a ladder until Corbin shoved them off and climbed the ladder to claim the Money in the Bank briefcase.
Overall, the excitement of the main event was enough to distil the upset of the night’s earlier affair. The fantastic efforts of the Money in the Bank competitors (mainly Styles and Nakamura) was enough to save everyone from huge disappointment. Styles and Nakamura is now the match we all want to see; we have two legit heat-seeking heels as Mr and Mrs Money in the Bank (and James Ellsworth); the WWE Champion is a force to be reckoned with. Now we look forward to Tuesday night to see how Shane O’Mac and the returning Daniel Bryan can reassure some upset smarks. I’m off to catch up on some much needed sleep before then. Nighty-night!