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Last week, Ethan Carter III became Impact Heavyweight Championship #1 Contender by defeating James Storm and Magnus in a No Disqualification Triple Threat Match. Josh Mathews revealed ”Big Poppa Pump” Scott Steiner as his tag team partner for his match against Jeremy Borasch and Joseph Park at Slammiversary. It’s time for celebration, but also for wrestling. This is Impact Testing, but the “Doctor Frenchy” Steph way !

The show opens with Ethan Carter III making his way to the ring to celebrate his victory accompanied by a blue band of musicians. “Tonight is a night for celebration !”, screamed EC3 who’s followed by the musicians offering their own (bad) version of his theme. Because “he’s a #1 contender, which nobody can deny” (by the worst singers ever), he’s going to win his title back at Slammiversary because he has the secret weapon to defeat Lashley. EC3 and the musicians are celebrating with a “Goodbye My Bobby Lashley”.

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GFW Global Champion Alberto El Patron shuts all them up, followed by Bruce Prichard, Karen Jarrett, Dutch Mantel and Tyrus. Prichard told EC3 he has to pay for his recent actions, so tonight he will face Alberto El Patron inside the Six Sides of Steel and both the GFW Global Title and the #1 contender spot for the Impact Heavyweight Title at Slammiversary will be on the line.

IMPACT! Grand Championship- Moose (c) vs. Eli Drake w/ Chris Adonis – Special Judges : Bruce Prichard, Dutch Mantell & Scott D’Amore

Round One: Moose attacks Drake straight in the match, seeking for revenge, knocking him down. Drake turns it around and works on the left knee of Moose. Drake locks him in the figure-four leglock as the round is ending. Both Prichard, Mantel and D’Amore score the round 10-9 for Eli Drake, so Drake wins the round 30-27.

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Round Two: Drake keeps on targeting Moose’s left knee as the round starts, slamming it around the ring post. Moose counters an attempt of a ring post figure-four leglock, sending Drake shoulder first into the ring post. Back in the ring, a weakened Moose hits a massive dropkick on Drake who’s standing on the top rope. Moose continues with a powerbomb and a moonsault, but is not able to cover Drake for the pin when the bell rings the end of the round. Two judges score the round 10-9 for Moose, one 10-9 for Drake, so Moose wins round two 29-28 by split decision.

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Round Three: Adonis is ready to mess in the match. Moose hits the Go To Hell on Drake for a nearfall. Eli Drake counters a kick into a suplex for a nearfall. In the last minute of the match, Moose and Drake keep exchanges blows. Adonis then grabs Moose’s leg from ringside, Drake hits the White Noise. The bell rings as Drake is about to cover Moose.  Two judges score the round 10-9 for Moose, one judge 10-9 for Drake, so Moose wins the round 29-28. Moose is still the IMPACT! Grand champion.

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* Backstage Rosemary explains to Allie because she has lost her family, she will always be there to protect and save her.

Allie w/ Braxton Sutter vs. Amber Nova

Swoggle is amongst the fans. Amber Nova begins with ties-up but Allie answers with clotheslines. Nova takes advantage of a missed charge from Allie in the corner to pummel her into the top turnbuckle and on the mat. Allie drys Nova out with clotheslines and lariats to finally hit the Allie Valley Driver for the win. At the “I don’t know how to wrestle, sorry” game, Allie is the absolute champion…

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* Jeremy Borash and Joseph Parks are arriving to the IMPACT! Zone.

GFW Tag Team Championship Tournament Finals – LAX (Santana & Ortiz) w/ Konnan, Homicide & Diamante vs. Veterans of War (Wilcox & Mayweather) – No Disqualification match 

Thanks to Homicide, Diamante and Konnan distractions, Mayweather and Wilcox are assaulting from everywhere straight in the match. Wilcox is thrown into the steel steps as Santana is working on Mayweather’s leg in the ring. LAX, at large, is in full control of the match. Until Wilcox is able to tag Mayweather. Wilcox hits Ortiz with a Samoan drop. Diamante interferes when Wilcox tries to go for the cover. The referee tries to calm everybody outside, which allows Homicide to hit Wilcox wit the title belt and, with Ortiz, to connect with the Tower of Doom for the win. With a No-DQ stipulation and 3 friends by their side, Santana and Ortiz become the new GFW Tag Team Champions. Of course…

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 * Backstage, McKenzie Mitchell is with Jeremy Borash and Joseph Park. JB says he has always wanted to be an announcer in wrestling and he has never intended to be in the ring. Borash wants to get out of his team but Park tries to motivate him telling him he will train him hard. Borash reminds Park of Steiner and walks away.

X-Division Championship – Low-Ki (c) vs. Andrew Everett

Sonjay Dutt is on commentary, an eye patch covering his right eye as he recovers from the injury he received at the hands of Low-Ki. Everett starts good with and offensive dropkick. A frustrated Low-Ki nails him with stiff shots. Everett sends his opponent outside with an Enzuigiri. Low-Ki grounds Andrew with a kick through the ropes. Back from commercials, Low-Ki is in control with kicks to Everett on the floor. Everett rallies and targets Low-Ki’s knee. The Champion counters every attempt from his opponent, Hurricanrana into the corner, pele kick, standing Shooting Star Press. When Low-Ki is able to counter Everett attempt of 450 Splash by gettin his knees up, he hits the Warrior’s Way double foot stomp to the back of Everett to retain the X-Division title.After the match, Low-Ki stares down Sonjay Dutt at the announce table.

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* After a Lashley video is aired, Rockstar Spud attacked Swoggle with a hammer, the same way Swoggle did to him a few weeks ago.

GFW Global Championship – Winner Faces Lashley at Slammiversary – Alberto El Patron (c) vs. Ethan Carter III – Six Sides of Steel match

Carter tries to escape the cage but Alberto counters him by sending him into the steel cage. El Patron also tries to escape but Carter stops him. Carter is now in control, trying to choke him through the steel, then targeting his back before sending him face-first into the cage. Alberto rallies with a tornado DDT. When El Patron tries to climb up the cage, EC3 grabs him on his shoulders and hits a Samoan drop off the top rope. EC3 is in control, hitting suplexes and forearms. Alberto comes back with a tilt a whirl backbreaker and tries again to climb out of the cage. EC3 grabs him again, puts in on his shoulders to drops him face-first down the mat. Nearfall. EC3 now tries to escape, quickly stopped by a back stabber by Alberto. Nearfall for El Patron thanks to a Si kick.

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Carter avoids the cross armbreaker as Alberto misses a step-up enzuguri. Carter hits a cutter but is countered on a 1 percenter. EC3 hits the TK3 for a near fall. Then the Liger Bomb for another near fall. Carter tries to escape but Alberto quickly join him to the top of the cage. Alberto is able to kick Carter down and locks him in a cross armbreaker. Alberto climbs again, Carter follows but Alberto kicks Carter down and he ends up locked up in the tree of woe. Alberto hits a double foot stomp from the top of the cage. Frog splash from the top rope for the 3-count. El Patron is now the GFW Global Champion and will face Lashley for the Impact Heavyweight Championship in a Winner Takes All Title Unification Match at Slammiversary.

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Overall, unequal and quite boring show, excepted the X-Division match with a focused Low-Ki and a high-flying Everett. LAX stole the titles, Allie is mocking her opponents, El Patron took EC3’s chance for Lashley title. Where does it bring us ? Nowhere for the moment, but next week in India. Wrestling Namasté to all of you.

2,5/5

All pics courtesy of Impact Wrestling