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The SmackDown Review – 2nd May 2017

Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

You could be forgiven for thinking this is a preamble to this week’s SmackDown review. When, in reality, it’s just added nonsense to fill the word count. But as I continue to type more words into cyberspace it has quickly dawned on me that this actually IS a preamble and you’re a sucker just like your mum. Read on if you actually want to know what happened on last night’s SmackDown Live.

“Drink it in maaaan” // wwe.com

This week on SmackDown Live, the show opened with the Mac Daddy Jr, Shane McMahon, welcoming the new United States Champion, Chris Jericho to Smackdown Live. Just as he mentioned that the re-match for the title was the night’s main event, AJ Styles came out. Styles addressed his history with Jericho and claimed he will take the title from him at Backlash.. providing he is still the champ by then. Jericho, all too eager with his additions to the list recently, was about to add Styles to his listicle when the heel face of America, Kevin Owens, came out. Owens made it perfectly clear that he intends to do more damage to Jericho than what he did at the Festival of Friendship. Owens demanded that Styles leave but the pair brawled until they were separated whereby Styles was now banned from ringside for the night’s US title match between Jericho and Owens.

That’s right Ellsworth, you stay in the background! // wwe.com

The alliance between the heels of SmackDown’s Women’s Division witnessed Carmella and Natalya in tag team action against Naomi and Charlotte Flair. The latter of the latter pair (confused yet?) is showing signs of a potential face turn with so much now going against her. And by that I mean she keeps getting beat the f*ck up by the rest of the Women’s Division. Speaking of which, before the aforementioned tag team match, Charlotte beat the f*ck up backstage by the “Welcoming Committee”, as the gang of heels are known. This meant Charlotte was unable to come to the ring until halfway through the match where James Ellsworth distracted Naomi, allowing Carmella to roll her up for the three-count. Following the match, the Welcoming Committee once again proceeded to beat down Charlotte, and now, Naomi. This was until Becky Lynch came out and it looked as though she was about to turn heel as she shook hands with the Committee, until she was faced with Ellsworth, who she threw into the other three and attacked them. Despite this, the Welcoming Committee ensued to layeth the SmackDown on all three of the babyfaces and then stood there; basking in the glory of their triumph.

Other stuff I have little time to talk about:

– Jinder Mahal had the WWE Championship taken away from him by Shane McMahon. Which is fair considering he isn’t the actual owner… yet. Later on, Mahal beat Zayn with yet more interference from The Singh Brothers formerly known as The Bollywood Boys. Like Mumbai, formerly Bombay.

– An updated version of the Tye Breaker saw Dillinger defeat Aiden English with relative ease. After the match English cried and Jericho added him to his ever expanding list. What a bastard!

– Dolph Ziggler defeated Sin Cara. Dolph botched during the match. Sin Cara did not. The latter was also sporting some weird new attire. I don’t know. I think the world might be coming to an end.

“The bust goes down, May 21st.” // wwe.com

– Breezango featured in a segment called “The Fashion Files.” This parody of Law and Order shows the incredible potential the two have to be the top babyface tag team on the roster. Seriously, their comedic and in-ring skills are massively underrated. I’ll look forward to them being crowned SmackDown Tag Team champions at Backlash.

As perviously mentioned, the nights main event was between Owens and Jericho in a re-match for the United States Championship. Quite simply, Owens hit a DDT on the floor and then three consecutive pop-up powerbombs to score the crushing victory. After the match, Owens hit another pop-up powerbomb on Jericho, and attempted to continue the onslaught, before Jericho collapsed. EMTs and referees attended to Jericho but Owens ran back out and put Jericho’s head in a chair and flung him into the ringpost. This all but ensures Jericho’s lengthy time off for his tour dates with his rock band, Fozzy.

“Suck it up maaaaaan” // wwe.com

It’s been over a year since I started writing about wrestling here at VultureHound. That means for more than 365 days I have reigned supreme as the king of any WWE reviews for this website and it’s publications. For any well wishes or messages of hate please send them to me directly via Twitter: @MrElliotDyson. Thanks.

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