Extreme Rules is only a few days away and as we all know, that’s the one night of the year that WWE goes extreme… other than TLC… and Elimination Chamber… and Money in the Bank. With all those and 300 other pay-per-views scheduled for this year, you probably don’t have time to watch Monday Night Raw, but luckily for you, I’m Elliot and I watch that god damn show so you don’t have to.
Last night’s Raw took place on Memorial Day, so I expected a really in-your-face “America” themed episode, like Tribute to the Troops, but perhaps since WWE lost USA angle mainstay, Jack Swagger, they thought it better to just do a normal show with a brief vignette. Noted “marine”, John Cena, did the voiceover for the episode’s opening video package, while noted marine 3, 4 and 5, The Miz, kicked off the actual programme with an episode of his must-see talk show.
Cesaro and Sheamus visited Miz TV, eventually leading to Dean Ambrose and The Hardy Boyz facing the heels in a pairing possibly inspired by Ambrose and Jeff’s recent appearance on Talk Is Jericho. Anyway, this match ended with Brother Nero Swanton Bombing The Miz for the win.
Honestly, it’s disappointing to see Miz hunting the Intercontinental title once more. After his career-defining year, watching him be thrust into the top title picture after say, winning Money in the Bank, would have been a very welcome shake-up – but nah, Daffy Dean is going to lazily dispatch of the A-Lister in likely a lackluster affair.
In other news, last night’s runner seemed like it would revolve around a text (or something) received by Corey Graves about Kurt Angle. People spoke about it very non-specifically and it was kind of annoying. After 2 segments, they dropped that for a “someone’s beaten up Enzo again” angle.
SHIT TO BE CATEGORISED UNDER “OTHER”:
– Elias Samson put away a jobber.
– Where does Bray Wyatt find these rooms filled with nothing but void and good video links?
– There were “two main events” one of which took place under an hour into a 3 hour show, which just screams “main event”.
– Samoa Joe defeated Finn Balor and Bray Wyatt by stealing the pin on the latter after the former landed a Coup De Grace.
– Rich Swann and Sasha Banks beat Noam Dar and Alicia Fox.
– The Revival turned up to be accused of wrecking Enzo Amore and then there was a weird moment between Graves and Big Cass.
– The Titus Brand rolled up Kalisto for a cheeky, cheaty win.
– Neville tapped out to Austin Aries in a tag team match with two other people who gives a shit which people.
– R-Truth Vs. Goldust, still probably coming to a kickoff show near you.
– Alexa Bliss hosted “Bayley: This is Your Life,” which saw Bliss interview people from the hugger’s past. The crowd hated the everloving shit out of it. The segment ended with Alexa taking a kendo stick to Bayley again.
Last night’s 2nd main event (realistically its only main event), saw Seth Rollins take on Roman Reigns in what turned out to be a pretty decent match. Since Braun Strowman was injured, WWE have pushed Reigns into a similar role in a bit of a Davy Jones’ heart situation. The fight was very much presented as an acrobat Vs. a powerhouse, as Roman did a fair bit of Rollins-tossing (the national sport in Georgia). Eventually, Roman defeated Seth with a spear because Vince McMahon still has final say.