Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review
Hello friend. I’d like to start this week’s SmackDown Review with a quick thank you for your patience. It hasn’t gone unnoticed that in the weeks following WrestleMania my appearances around here have been sporadic at best. I would say, just like Take That, I’m back for good. Yet, if I said that then I would be lying because time does not always allow me to ramble about wrestling as much as I would like to. So a small thank you is in order for our very own Steph Franchomme for stepping in when I simply can’t be bothered. As far as preambles go, I don’t even have a tenuous link to get things started…
Renne Young opened this week’s show by inviting Shinsuke Nakamura to the ring for an interview. Even before he had the chance to answer any questions, Dolph Ziggler interrupted him and took over, comparing Nakamura to a dead popstar. If Dolph wants to talk about dead pop-stars then he needs to take a look in the mirror amirite? Right?.. Nakamura, for some reason already wearing his mouth guard, responded by calling him a jackass. Naturally this led to a bit of fistycuffs before Ziggler scarpered.
The Canadian heel and face of America, Kevin Owens, joined the commentary team to witness AJ Styles beat Baron Corbin. During the action, Owens tried to get involved but was kicked by Styles. This led to an attempted powerbomb from Corbin but Styles escaped and rolled up Corbin for the victory. Immediately following the match, Owens and Corbin beat down Styles until Sami Zayn ran in to help. Zayn hit Corbin with a Helluva Kick but was thrown out of the ring by Owens, who also delivered a pop-up powerbomb to Styles.
In the first of two ‘Beat The Clock’ matches: American Alpha defeated the Colons. Yes, Primo and Epico are now going by their family name as opposed to the failed Puerto Rican Travel Agents gimmick. This adds to the list of other failed gimmicks such as: Spanish Bullfighters, Lumberjacks, Limo Drivers, Glass Blowers and, my personal favourite, the first edition of the Colons featuring Carlito. American Alpha hit Grand Amplitude for the victory, setting the time to beat at 5:17.
The second tag match witnessed Breezango score a shock victory over the Ascension and also with 2:36 to spare. This made them the new number 1 contenders for the SmackDown Tag Team Championships and ensures the pair are getting their first push since appearing as Chet Chetterfield and Mr. McElroy. A Supermodel Kick from Tyler Breeze followed by a Falcon Arrow from Fandango allowed them the victory.
Some other stuff:
— Commenting via pre-recorded video, Handsome Rusev made his first appearance on Smackdown Live since being announced as part of the Superstar Shake-Up. However, the Bulgarian had different plans. Due to his dislike of Daniel Bryan and Shane McMahon he insisted the only way they can get him to compete on Smackdown Live is if he is given a championship match at Money In The Bank. If he does not get his way he will pack his bags and head back to Bulgaria. Only time will tell but, given his previously bad booking, it looks as though SmackDown Head Office will be sorting some one way tickets to Sofia very soon.
— It seems as though Natalya has formed the worst alliance since the Liberal-Tory coalition of 2010. Consisting of herself, Carmella, Tamina and James Ellsworth, the gang of misfits look set on tearing the SmackDown Women’s Division apart. What exactly their end goal will be is anyones guess. World peace I hope.
– The Main Event of the night was a Smackdown Women’s Championship Match between Naomi and Charlotte Flair. The match ended in a no-contest when the aforementioned troupe beat down both women which was a shame because the match, up until that point, was actually pretty good.
The main feud between Randy Orton and Bray Wyatt has taken an interesting turn, in that, it’s not involving Wyatt at all. Orton defeated Erick Rowan in a no-DQ match. As expected, many weapons were used and eventually it took its toll on Rowan who may as well be literally buried on screen. What followed, however, is where things start to get interesting. After the match, Orton gave his usual spiel about out-besting Wyatt in their House of Horrors match, however, Jinder Mahal came out and told him he was being overlooked and disrespected. Agreed. #DontHinderJinder. Mahal, claimed that Orton shouldn’t be worried about Bray Wyatt but instead should be worried about him. The two brawled but Jinder had the upper hand as the Bollywood Boyz once again came to help. The segment ended with Jinder running away with the WWE Championship, climbing into an limousine and driving away while hanging out of the sunroof holding the title. Classy!