Final Word – What The Hell Val – 11th September 2016

Circuses and Great British Bake Off, that’s what you are getting this week.

So lets clear this up, for some reason and I don’t know what it is, I have an issue with Val from Great British Bake Off. I’m sure Val is a lovely lady, and I’m really sorry Val, but for some reason the term “Val’s fucked it” has become common place in our house on a Wednesday/Thursday evening and I take pleasure in pointing out Val’s mistakes to my good lady wife. Val is clearly a better baker than me, she’s on Bake Off, I am not, I can only just work the oven.

Thing is, I think it is something that’s been bread in us (Bake Off joke there), like we watch X-Factor or I’m A Celebrity as much for the failures as we do the successes. Watching a girl smash out a rendition of [insert popular song here] is great, but watching a 50 year old man with questionable sanity murder a Michael Jackson song is just hilarious. Why do we enjoy watching people fail? If there are any pyschologists out there reading, seriously I’d like to know. I can only assume this is a new thing, right? You wouldn’t listen to the wireless waiting for a newsreader to say cock instead of clock, mainly because radio presentation was an art form back then.

I do sometime feel bad about it, which is weird for me because I’m the guy who watches You’ve Been Framed and feels no compassion when a kid gets twated in the face by a swing. Survival of the fittest, if a kid gets hit in the face with a swing he learns, but weirdos on the X-Factor they don’t learn because they are deluded, which guarantees ITV laughs every single year.

Val whilst you continue to be in this years Great British Bake Off, I shall continue to have an issue with you and you “fucking it.” Good luck though!

*After a conversation with my brother and sister in-law, it would seem that I’m alone in a disdain for Val. Looks like Britain is pulling for Val.

Remember when circuses were lame? I do, it usually those ones that come through your town every year or so, pitch up in some random field for 5 days and sell cut price tickets in town. Well apparently there is actually a decent circus around these parts, the Circus of Horrors. Bringing blood and guts to the big top freshens everything up, and adding more adult content makes it feel very underground.

How often do you get to see a midget swing a weight from his penis, a semi-naked girl in a jar or a man swallow two foot long light tube? Packaging traditional circus acts into a freak show environment might not be the most original of ideas, but it certainly feels it. It actually makes you remember when circuses weren’t lame, like when the Ringling Brother’s had the ‘Greatest Show on Earth’ and when the Blackpool Tower circus was an attraction in itself. It actually makes me miss the circus, and I for one will be back when the Circus of Horrors roles back into town. Let’s support our circuses, and perhaps we’ll start to get more quality again, you can’t beat a live show.

Now that I remember, I always wanted to run away with the circus!

Clowns and Girls