Clash of Champions Review – 25th September 2016

Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The Raw Review – Clash of Champions Special!

They say the best things in life are free and that’s very true when you pay £10 a month for the WWE to give you the same disappointments week in week out. So I’m just going to get through this and hope that Raw on Monday night can make up for disappointing outcomes to some of the matches at last nights Clash of Champions.

On the Pre Show Nia Jax defeated little known jobber, Alicia Fox. The female Roman Reigns slammed the depleted Alicia Fox with a Samoan Drop to continue her push and, for once, beat someone on the main roster (apparently). Albeit someone not worthy of lacing Jax’s boots.

The first match on the main show was for the Raw Tag Team Championships. I was almost certain that the New Day were ready to drop the titles to a physically dominant Gallows and Anderson but this was not to be the case. Big E and Kofi combined to hit the hot Asian wife’s husband with the Midnight Hour. Maybe once Balor is back they continue with teasing the Bullet Club reunion but until then it looks as though Drs Gallows and Anderson will have to obtain a real doctorate in medicine.

"You might still have the Raw tag titles but I still get to go home every night and bang my hot Asian wife"
“You might still have the Raw tag titles but I still get to go home every night and bang my hot Asian wife”

The inaugural PPV Cruiserweight Championship Match of the New Era got the crowd into a frenzy of mark moments. After watching TJ Perkins and Brian Kendrick do so well in the Cruiserweight Classic it was a real delight to see them put on a great show in front of the much larger crowd. No doubt they’re used to larger crowds, just like your mum, with Kendrick being a former WWE employee and Perkins having competed in some other company that shall not be named for loyalty reasons yet we will continue to employe their former original superstars. Kendrick continued in his heel gimmick and after losing the match to the dab master, TJP, via a well executed Knee Bar, Kendrick seemingly gracious in defeat hugged Perkins only to then drop him with a headbutt. Kendrick’s heel persona is one of the many reason to stick with the exciting Cruiserweight Division whilst it begins to settle in at it’s new home on Monday Night Raw – the far superior brand that the WWE has to offer.

Captain Brian Sparrow prefers a bottle of rum instead of a handshake
Captain Brian Sparrow prefers a bottle of rum instead of a handshake

The Best of Seven Series between the glowing, Sheamus, and the Swiss Cheeseman, Cesaro, may not be over just yet as the match ended in a rather disappointing no contest. Hoping for a definitive winner after seven great matches I was left questioning the legitimacy of the ending after the referee decided to ring the bell due to both men not being able to continue to compete. I know what you’re thinking – “that sounds like BS” – you’re right it was pretty much BS. Cesaro, after landing awkwardly on his neck, was standing straight on his feet within a minute and continued in his brawl against Sheamus which then spilled out in to the crowd. Realistically it could be that Sheamus took a bump but even he seemed to be okay walking away at the end. I guess sometimes when you invest so much time in watching wrestling as an adult you want to see a legitimate ending to a match rather than a pathetic excuse of an injury when the company doesn’t have a clue what to do next with it’s midcard talent. If these two end up jobbing out to Braun Strowman I might just be finished with wrestling; a blind threat I always make when I get a little fed up with bad booking.

In one of the better and more surprising matches of the night Chris Jericho defeated plucky underdog Sami Zayn with a Codebreaker. The only way I can get my pretty head around this one is to think that Jericho is building up to a feud with Kevin Owens where he will eventually turn his back on the French Canadian in order to claim the Universal Studios Orlando Championship for himself thus turning Owens face in the process. It’s a bold move and one WWE Creative definitely will not go with but a man can dream.

I think I would be crying too if I just buried younger talent like Sami Zayn
I think I would be crying too if I just buried younger talent like Sami Zayn

Charlotte once again successfully defended her Raw Women’s Championship after beating both Sasha Banks and Bayley in a triple threat match. As predicted there was interference from Dana ‘Fake Taxi’ Brooke which ultimately led to a Big Boot from Charlotte on Bayley. For the time being I’m enjoying watching these Women put on a great show but a solution has to be found for the Dana Brooke problem. The problem being her awkwardness in the ring. When she’s in the same ring as the three best wrestlers in the Raw Women’s Division it makes her look worse than she actually is. Now, she is bad, but she isn’t as bad as I have made out in previous weeks. Maybe if she jobs out to Nia Jax and somehow puts on a good show she may actually be able to gather some sympathetic support as a babyface… I did say maybe.

Continuing my form of incorrect predictions, I was left angrier than Vince McMahon on the announcement of the Chris Benoit movie when Rusev sadly lost the title to a once again indestructible Roman Reigns. There’s no doubt in my mind that Rusev will now find himself in a silly storyline with Lana where their marriage is already on the rocks. It’s getting repetitive when it comes to booking Roman Reigns without making him a heel. To me the only option they have left to put him over is to accept he is naturally a heel. Stick him in a Fatal-4-Way for the US title with Rusev, Sheamus and Cesaro. That would be a great match for Survivor Series and a way to keep the title changing hands amongst talented stars for some time. I don’t know why I keep pitching these angles when I’m fully aware the WWE have little sense when it comes to their creative decisions. Sure, they probably do plan ahead but it’s almost always done the wrong way.

I hate myself for uploading this image. Just look at his smug irritating face. Everything suggests that he should be a heel
I hate myself for uploading this image. Just look at his smug irritating face. Everything suggests that he should be a heel

The Main Event of the night was the Universal Championship Match between the longest reigning Universal Champ of all time and Sethanie McRollins. Creatively this seems to be the only thing the company are doing well at the moment. Owens was able to retain his championship after his best friend, Chris Jericho, interfered in the match which saw a replacement in referees when the feeble man in black and white took a fatal push in the back from the two men in the ring. After some time, a second referee charged to the ring under the orders of Steph McMahon-Levesque for Owens to hit the unsuspecting Rollins with a Pop-Up Power Bomb. In the long term this feud has to stay exciting and I have no qualms with either Rollins and Owens ability to do so. Let’s just hope Roman Reigns is kept clear of the main prize for the rest of eternity.

I'll never tire of seeing these two deeply in love with each other
I’ll never tire of seeing these two deeply in love with each other