Final Word – Out of Office – 28th August 2016

If parts of this end up being out dated that’s because when this goes up, I’ll actually be in sunny/rainy (circle applicable) Leeds Festival. It’s hard to give you a preview, but I’ll probably have watched a tonne of bands by now or I might even be home in bed depending if I decide to stay and watch the Chilli Peppers.

So here’s a new one “wrestling is fake” or “wrestling is just ballet in spandex”, yeah we fucking know that wrestling is predetermined and scripted, we’ve known for fucking years, but guess what so is EastEnders but we don’t go on about it. But the term “fake” is so far from the reality! I’m a wrestling fan, I have been since I was like five, I’ve dived in and out over the years but I’ve been ritualistically watching since the launch of the WWE Network. I don’t hide my love of wrestling (I write for Vulture Hound’s wrestling spin-off), and I’ll take a certain level of abuse for being a fan, but boy can the “fake” chants get boring, try telling Randy Orton this shit’s fake.

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For those who didn’t watch WWE’s SummerSlam PPV last Sunday, Randy Orton was in a match with Brock Lesnar aka the guy who once held the UFC Championship and came back after four years or so out and won his match, just to test himself. He had a match in the UFC for FUN! He’s a legitimate fucking monster! Well if you saw that match you’d have seen Orton get busted open and spill blood all over the mat, now tell me that wasn’t real. Was it scripted, who knows but the wrestlers themselves and Vince McMahon. Was the claret real? Damn fucking right it was! These performers literally put their bodies on the line nearly every day of the week, so show them some respect. Reports are suggesting that the plan was to have Orton bleed a little, but there is no chance in hell it was supposed to be that bad, Brock Lesnar literally tore a man’s head open with his elbows.

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The moral of my rant is to all those non-wrestling fans out there, we know this shit is scripted- just leave us be, else next time you are trying to enjoy Hollyoaks I’m going to start ranting about how it is scripted. At least with wrestling the TV Time’s doesn’t tell you what’s going to happen a week in advance. At the end of the day, it has people talking about wrestling, which is fucking perfect and exactly what you want from any show. The secret of good story telling is that you don’t always give the people what they want, and this works especially well with wrestling because those stories are going to run forever, there is a reason that WWE sees off all challengers, it is because they are fucking good at what they do. Rant over!

Whilst I’m away, you might as well take a look at my Just Giving page, I’m running a 5K in aid of Parkinson’s UK. I know if doesn’t sound much of a challenge, but it is at night and it is around Wayne Manor (aka Wollaton Hall in Nottingham) and as a Batman fan that’s fucking awesome. The link is here, you might as well sponsor me and I promise normal service will resume next weekend. I’ll probably be moaning about something that happened at Leeds festival, more than likely the weather but fingers crossed.