It’s time we addressed the elephant in the room.
Vulture Hound presents five facts that prove, once and for all, that Queen are better with Adam Lambert:
FACT 1 – It was unfair to the rest of the band
Having the greatest performer to have ever walked the Earth as the frontman of your band can’t have been easy on the rest of the group.
Who has time to get lost in Roger Taylor’s dreamy eyes or Brian May’s man-on-the-five-pound-note haircut or remember the bassist’s name when you have Freddie Mercury stalking the stage; commanding the attention of every single person in the audience?
FACT 2 – Shallow reboots are fashionable
The Call of Duty franchise routinely makes approximately infinity million dollars every year, despite each new game being literally the same as the last one; Hollywood hasn’t produced a single original idea in almost two decades, yet continues to make billions of dollars, and Sam Smith has won several awards as well as critical and public acclaim as a whitewashed Tracy Chapman.
The idiot public fucking love eating up slightly less good versions of the same old shit, so Queen should be no exception.
FACT 3 – It will get more people into actual Queen
Remember when the Oldboy remake came out and it was distinctly average, bordering on pretty shitty?
I don’t, because I was absolutely arseholed when I watched it and can’t remember a thing, but my point is watching a bad cover version of something good might make people curious to go and experience the original that warranted this pale imitation.
Granted, I have no actual sources to back up this claim, but I think it might be true, and that’s good enough for the internet.
FACT 4 – It distracts us from death
While Freddie Mercury was taken from us too soon, we have been forced to watch the rest of the band grow old and wither; a stark reminder of our own mortality. Roger Taylor looks like Obi Wan Kenobi, Brian May looks like an 18th century aristocrat and I still can’t remember the bassist’s name.
Having a younger man in front of a group of pensioners grants us an albeit brief reprieve from the knowledge that, ultimately, the grave awaits us all.
FACT 5 – John Deacon
That’s the bassist’s name –or at least it was until he retired in 1997– and if I hadn’t had to research Queen and Adam Lambert for this list, I would have carried on thinking it was John Paul Jones, for the rest of my life.