Psychos,Cyborgs and Surfboards: VH’S Top 5 Unnecessary Remakes

In the era of almost everything from the past returning to cinemas, We look back at five movies that didn’t warrant a remake much like the upcoming “Point Break” released on February 5th starring Luke Bracey as John Utah & Edgar Rameriez as Bohdi.

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1) Get Carter (2000)

Mike Hodges 1971 film directing debut with Michael Caine as east end gangster Jack Carter who returns home to Newcastle for the funeral of his brother which he investigates the suspicious circumstances around it which lead the permanently dark suited crim down a dark path and ultimately his end. It’s brilliantly grim crime movie with its touches of a modern-day western and is one of the greatest British films ever made.

In 2000 Stephen Kay’s americanized version with Sylvester Stallone as Carter was an unwanted misfire with cinema audiences who avoided it, critics gave it less than favourable reviews to a movie which even the leading star regrets making now.The film’s biggest crimes are hearing Stallone murder Caine’s quotable lines from the original movie and an ending that’s a total cop-out.

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2) The Hitcher (2005)

The original 1986 mind fuck horror road movie from a script by Eric” Near Dark” Red and directed by Robert “Nowhere to Run’s” Harmon. This VHS era favourite stars Rutger Hauer as the long coat wearing psycho John Ryder who’s comes out of the dust to screw with C Thomas Howell’s Jim Halsey character as he drives across country.

It’s beautiful cinematography from Oscar Winning DOP John “ Fury Road” Seale along with its brilliantly choreographed action sequences and it’s not everyday you see a pre “Hateful Eight” Jennifer Jason Leigh being halved using two trucks.

When Michael Bay’s Platinum Dunes after the success of Texas Chainsaw Remake (2003) decided audiences would love to see a retelling we didn’t the film taking only $25m in its release.

The Hitcher 07 version from director Dave Meyers with its bland “Dawson Creek” alike leads, terrible action sequences and Sean Bean’s horrendous American accent it makes number 2 in my list of unnecessary remakes.

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3) RoboCop (2014)

The 1987 Paul Verhoven sci-fi actioner is a multi layered movie excellent performances from Peter Weller as the likeable cop Murphy he’s gunned down only to be resurrected christ like into the cyborg law man kicking ass in Old Detroit.

RoboCop will celebrate its 30th birthday and in the decades since its aged extremely well as has the amazing score by Basil Poledouris and its gallows sense of humour that you couldn’t get away with today.

After many false starts it was a minor miracle that the RoboCop Reboot even got made. The film starring Joel Kinnaman in the lead with a supporting cast of top-notch talent helmed by “Elite Squad” José Padilha.But despite its good points particularly in its special effects it’s ultimately a watered down PG 13 kid friendly humour and soulless retread.

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4) The Wicker Man (2006)

Robin Hardy’s 1973 British horror/musical starring Edward Woodward as the puritanical policemen flies to a remote Scottish investigate a girl’s disappearance on Christopher Lee’s Summerisle and an ending with Woodward’s lawman having an appointment with the title character.

A remake of the Wicker Man was a passion project for star Nicolas Cage after rocker Joey Ramone showed him the movie at a party. The retread written and directed by Neil La Bute who transposes the story to a Western United States Island. But instead of terrifying audiences as its predecessor did, it became the butt of internet jokes due to its stars over the top performance and the scene where he commanders a woman’s peddle bike at gunpoint.

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5) Psycho (1998)

Albert Hitchcock’s 1960 proto slasher starring Janet Leigh as on the run secretary Marion Craine who takes the wrong turn off the highway during a rainstorm and ends up at the bates motel ran by Anthony Perkin’s Norman who’s got mother issues.

In 1998 Gus Van Sant shot for shot remake is a pointless affair another strong acting ensemble and Vince Vaughn as Norman going through the motions only this time in colour.

This costly experiment from “Drugstore Cowboy” director Van Sant during awards season was given several razzies,a critical kicking and only breaking even at the box office.