The Linus Report: AAA Sin Límite, 27/06/2015

Hey, it’s AAA Sin Límite! And it’s the first half of Verano de Escándalo!

The show started with the “Previously On…”, which this week doubled as a preview of the PPV card. Except that they previewed matches which won’t be shown until next week’s show. *shrug*

They did the full ceremonial opening for the PPV, with ring girls carrying flags around ringside, while Marisela Peña stood holding her brother’s urn. All very crazy, all very MEXICO!

Hey, it’s our first match! It’s one of those man, woman, exótico & mini eight-man tag-team matches which are always AWESOME.

This one had the técnico team of Dinastía, el Elegido, Faby Apache & Pimpinela Escarlata versus los rudos, Machine Rocker, Mamba, Mini Psycho Clown & Taya.

Mini Psycho Clown was out first, causing confusion and schism as fans who want to cheer his bigger counterpart are unsure what to do with the smaller, heel version.

How much more METAL could Machine Rocker be? None. None more METAL.

Mamba was stunning in green, a trade-up from her usual black. She’d also lightened her hair and now I feel like I work for E!

The Perros del Mal music brought out Taya, all white furry boots and white furry jacket, and carrying her Women’s title belt.

El Elegido has quite the unique entrance, all nineties trance and huge shoulderpads. He also had a Yin/Yang symbol over his cock. Which he put to good use doing his male stripper act. Mamba leaned in for a closer look.

Faby Apache did NOT come out to her family’s usual music but did still wear the Indian headdress. Huh.

Dinastia had new music, too, which sounded like his old music overplayed with something else. I never used to like the minis but Dinastia’s a big part of them winning me over.

Finally, Pimpinela Escarlata came out, dressed in white and instructing men in the crowd to kiss her, much to the amusement of everyone around them.

One of the sponsors around the – thankfully square – ring is ROSHFRANS. I wonder what they do? Huh, apparently they make engine lubricants. That’s random.

The minis started out, with slapping and kicking and basic lucha. Dinastia got to show off his bridge and his handwalk, but Mini Psycho Clown rolled out of the way before he could hit a topé.

Then Faby and Taya went at it, with Faby schooling her Canadian foe in Lucha 101. Taya ducked out of the ring, Faby faked a dive, and then tagged out to el Elegido.

Machine Rocker came in on the other side of the ring but didn’t last long, being sent out of the ring with a huracanrana. Mini Psycho Clown came back in and got tilt-a-whirl backbreakered, and then Taya ran in. Elegido faked hitting her and she screamed, so he kicked her up the bum instead. Heh.

Elegido posed in the middle of the ring and los rudos ran in and attacked him, and then the rest of los técnicos, and the match fell into the rudo breakdown.

The heels put the boots to Elegido, and then to Pimpi, who was trapped in the corner. She tried fighting back, getting into a hair pull with Mamba, but the numbers overwhelmed her. They continued to pour on the misery, ending with a diving headbutt to the groin from Mini Psycho Clown. Ouchy. I think.

Dinastia came in and tried to overcome the odds but, again, the numbers were too great. A slingshot legdrop from Machine Rocker was the end of him.

Then Faby Apache tried her luck. Alas, she had none. Machine Rocker hit a Gory Special and the others kicked her out of the ring. Even Elegido couldn’t fight the odds, and he was sent packing, too.

A cornered and wounded animal, however, is dangerous, and Pimpi made the comeback when they whipped her into the turnbuckles. She stuck out her bum and Machine Rocker ran right into it. Mini Psycho Clown tried a charge at her and she sidestepped, sending him out of the ring. Mamba got yanked around by her hair and then Pimpi decided to kiss the referee. El Piero, though, was having none of it.

With los técnicos back on top, the match settled back into a normal format, with just Mamba and Pimpi in the ring and the others on the apron. They had a pose-off and then went at it, with Pimpi winning a basic lucha battel.

Machine Rocker came in and Pimpi (slowly) took him down with armdrags and kisses. She decided to go after the referee again but he was, again, not having a bar of it.

Dinastia and Mini Psycho Clown came in and worked some cool lucha, with kicks, and flips, and armdrags, and finished with a twisting plancha off the top turnbuckle to the outside by Dinastia.

Taya also went up top, and plancha‘d out onto the minis. Pimpi decided to hit a topé out onto all three, but the referee stepped in the way. She took his hand and walked up the turnbuckles and then did a sexy ropewalk, before hitting a senton onto everyone outside.

Back in the ring, Elegido took Machine Rocker down but Rocker came back for a nearfall. Rocker and Mamba then locked on whacky submissions on Elegido and Faby and los rudos took the win. Tons of fun, that.

They showed a hype video for the La Secta versus Los Güeros del Cielo feud, which has turned into quite the thing. Especially as, two weeks ago, Los Güeros challenged La Secta to a lucha apuesta – a hair versus hair match in a cage!

So, yeah, time for Los Güeros del Cielo (Angélico & Jack Evans) versus La Secta (Dark Cuervo & Dark Scoria). IN A CAGE!

Dark Scoria came out wearing a straightjacket, whipping his hair around like a man possessed (or a man in fear of losing it). Dark Cuervo was more sedate, and wearing what looked like a black polo neck. Style comes in many colours.

Evans and Angélico came out to the usual pop from the girls in the crowd, and Angélico had a selfie stick. It wasn’t furry or Tyler Breeze may have been instructing lawyers.

A wide shot of the cage showed a cameraman, precariously balanced on top of it, filming the action below. HEALTH AND SAFETY!

They brawled from the off, with La Secta on top. There were two tables randomly propped up against the cage,like they were encouraging their use. Los Güeros found some brief fire, and made a flip, kick, bump and repeat comeback but not for long.

Dark Scoria hit Angélico with a chair, in what looked like the throat. I guess he ain’t messing around. Jack Evans made another fiery comeback, and Angélico came back to life, and Los Güeros got the shine.

Angélico had Scoria in a Gory Special and Evans hit a dropkick on Scoria, flipping into a Shooting Star Press on a grounded Dark Cuervo. Angélico then hit a senton on Cuervo, still with Scoria on his back. Aces.

Angélico tried to climb out of the cage but Scoria pulled him down and kicked him. Evans then kicked Scoria, and Cuervo kicked Evans. Kick party. Cuervo then catapaulted Evans into the cage.

La Secta gave chairshots to los técnicos, and Cuervo set a chair up in the corner and rammed Evans head into it. This is quite the ouchy match.

Los Güeros then reversed whips into the cage, and then threw both rudos into the cage again, for good measure. Angélico hit a chairshot on Cuervo, and Scoria got colour. It ain’t a cage match without blood, okay Vince?

Evans tried to escape, but Scoria headscissored him down. Angélico tried, too, but Cuervo pulled him back. Cuervo then tried to escape but Angélico stopped him. Then Scoria climbed up a corner and Evans one-arm powerbombed him down. All four lay in the middle of the ring, spent.

Angélico was first up and tried to escape again but Cuervo threw a chair at his legs. Evans found some fire and also tried to escape but Cuervo pulled him off. Evans fought back and used the doubled-over backs of La Secta to launch himself onto the cage. He climbed over but both rudos caught him and superplexed him into the ring. Really ouchy.

After a break, La Secta were beating on Evans. They whipped him at Angélico, who backdropped him up onto the cage wall. They beat on Angélico while Evans climbed the cage and, when he was stood atop it, he moonsaulted off the top onto La Secta instead of climbing out.

Angélico then tried climbing out but Scoria caught him and pulled him down. La Secta then set up chairs in the ring and did a sloppy, ouchy move to drive Angélico through the chairs. Evans tried to climb again but Cuervo pulled him back into the ring.

La Secta grabbed the tables and set them up in the ring. Cuervo held Angélico near the tables while Scoria climbed the opposite corner. Angélico broke free, kicked Cuervo and raced after Scoria, kicking him down and crotching him on the top turnbuckle.

Angélico then climbed but was joined at the top by Scoria. They brawled, sitting astride the cage, and Cuervo and Evans did the same in the opposite corner. Evans threw Cuervo down into the ring, and through the tables, and Angélico & Evans dropped to the floor together to win the match, and La Secta’s hair

After the match, La Secta had their hair shaved in the ring by a barber with a bad haircut. Then they shook hands and celebrated with Los Güeros before turning on them and attacking them. They had a great match, these four, and I’m kinda sad to see the end of their feud.

They showed a hype video for the Alberto versus Cage feud, and then got straight on with the AAA Megacampeonato, el Patrón Alberto versus Brian Cage!

Cage came out with Texano Jr, who was waving a huge American flag. Kind of ironic that he’s Mr Mexico on Lucha Underground right now. Also out with them was, yes, el Hijo del Tirantes. Grrr.

Alberto came out waving a Mexican flag, of course. Nothing like jingoism to build up a big match. His second was Blue Demon Jr, for some weird reason.

They went off brawling right from the bell, with Alberto running Cage into turnbuckles, before they spilled onto the floor. Alberto rammed Cage’s head into the announcers’ desk and then into a ringpost, before smashing a chair over his back. Quite the start from the champion.

Texano Jr got in Alberto’s face and almost got chaired, then Alberto rolled Cage back into the ring. He climbed up to the top turnbuckle but Texano Jr crotched him and Cage came over to take advantage.

Cage hit that outside-in herking suplex that Cesaro’s been using lately and then got in the mount and wailed on the champ. Alberto is made of sterner stuff, though, and got straight back up and beat on Cage in the corner. El Hijo del Tirantes pulled him away and Cage sneak-attacked him to get back on top.

Cage had Alberto trapped on the bottom rope and Texano Jr came over and smacked him with the bullrope. Where is Blue Demon Jr? Useless.

BUT! Alberto made a comeback, sending Cage into the corner and hitting his double footstomp. Before he could take advantage, Texano Jr came in and started whipping him, while el Hijo del Tirantes stood idly by.

This was too much for Blue Demon Jr (at last!), who came in, pushed the referee and attacked Texano Jr, hitting a tilt-a-whirl backbreaker and then picking up Texano Jr’s own rope to use on him. El Hijo del Tirantes grabbed the rope and sent Blue Demon Jr to the back.

Back in the ring, Cage grabbed the rope and began hitting and choking Alberto with it, and surely el Hijo del Tirantes has a duty of care here? They brawled some more and Alberto ended up on the outside, landing next to a steel chair. Cage went for a topé suicida and Alberto waffled him with the chair. Justice.

Alberto came back now, with clotheslines and a backbreaker, and then took his t-shirt off. Business just picked up. He hit a lungblower and made a cover and el Hijo del Tirantes took forever to get down and even longer to count to two, when Cage kicked out. Alberto cornered the referee but opted not to punish him.

This, however, gave Cage time to recover and he hit a sit-out powerbomb for a (very quickly counted) two-count. He called to Texano Jr for a HUGE PIECE OF WOOD, and propped it up in the corner. Alberto came back with a shot and a superkick and then made the cover. El Hijo del Tirantes got down and counted quickly but stopped at two, claiming he’d hurt his hand. Asshole.

With el Hijo del Tirantes selling an injury in the corner, Cage came back and hit a slam which Tirantes counted really quickly, surprinsgly recovered from his injury. He still only got to two before Alberto kicked out, though.

Cage went up for a split-legged moonsault but Alberto moved out of the way and Cage ate mat. Alberto put Cage back up on the top turnbuckle and hit a Dragon Superplex, and then called for the arm.

Texano Jr got back in the ring and powerbombed Alberto through the HUGE PIECE OF WOOD. Alberto isn’t the champion for nothing, however, and he was soon up and dumped Texano Jr out of the ring. Unfortunately, while he was doing this, Cage recovered and hit a discus clothesline and a pumphandle facebuster but STILL only got a nearfall.

Alberto was grounded and Cage reached down to pick him up, allowing Alberto to lock on an armbreaker. Cage picked him up for a single-arm powerbomb to force the release. The respite was only temporary, however, because Alberto locked it on again, this time getting his legs across Cage’s body. Cage began to tap but Tirantes pretended to be distracted by the crowd.

Meanwhile, Texano Jr got in the ring and was soon joined by el Hijo del Fantasma and Pentagón Jr, who began stomping on Alberto. The referee, of course, ignored it, and Alberto made his own comeback, dumping everyone out of the ring and kicking the referee for good measure.

Cage grabbed the title belt and tried to waffle Alberto with it, but Alberto ducked and took the belt from him. He whacked Cage and then made the cover but el Hijo del Tirantes didn’t make the cover. To be fair, he had just been superkicked by Alberto.

While Alberto was trying to rouse the referee, Cage grabebd him and hit a slam, making the cover which new referee el Piero counted three for. Consider me confused, then, when el Piero raised Alberto’s arm, declaring him the winner. Turns out, he’d seen Cage deliver a low blow leading up to making the pin and acted accordingly.

After the match, Cage draped the American flag over the fallen Alberto, and that’s your show! Part two of Verano de Escándalo is next week!

This was a Great Show. I’d heard mixed reviews of the PPV but nothing here disappointed me, except perhaps an unclear finish in the main. All this is making me want to watch Triplemania live!

(You can see this show every week on AAA’s YouTube channel. The stars of AAA will be appearing at London’s Albert Hall on July 11th – details on luchafuture.com)

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