The Linus Report: Lucha Underground, 25/06/2015

Hey, it’s Lucha Underground! It’s that show that crosses the line into fantasy and I DON’T CARE.

The show started with the usual “Previously on…” segment, featuring Drago, Fénix, the Aztec medallions, and Catrina.

The announcers welcomed us to the show, and Vampiro thanked this week’s band Los Rayobacks, which the sharper-minded amongst you will tell us that this show was filmed before last week’s. Weird. Matt Striker then told us that, as a result of his attack on Johnny Mundo last week, Alberto El Patrón will fight Mundo at Ultima Lucha.

Hey, it’s Melissa Santos! She introduced Sexy Star, who was already in the ring, and then her opponent, Super Fly. Before the match started, they showed a sit-down interview between Vampiro and Super Fly.

Super Fly, in Spanish, said he was out to get Sexy Star because she had taken his mask from him. Vampiro pointed out that she had won the match fair and square, but Super Fly said that she could have just walked away and not even taken the match. Yeah, he’s angry.

So Sexy Star and Super Fly had a match, and it was not a good match. And when you consider the miracles they can often work with post-production and editing, think how bad it must have been before all that. Super Fly got the win with a sit-out powerbomb, and after the match tried to rip Sexy Star’s mask off, before the referee chased him off. This feud must continue, I guess.

They showed a Drago hype video, which was all kung fu and that. Aces.

They trailed a five-man match for one of Dario Cueto’s vaunted Aztec medallions, featuring Pentagón Jr, Cage, The Mack, Aero Star & Marty “The Moth” Martinez. Melissa introduced Pentagón Jr, who came into the ring and grabbed her mic’ and scared her off.

He cut a talky, saying that his didn’t fight for medallions, only to please his master. He said that someone had robbed his master of his biggest sacrifice, and then called out Vampiro. To the delight of the crowd, Vampiro stood up to him and the referee got in-between them. Pentagón Jr stormed off, obviously not in the match, and Vampiro sat down, distracted.

After a break, the now four competitors for the Aztec medallion were in the ring and they had a hell of a match. Although Cage & The Mack are power wrestlers, they can also fly, and the match featured plenty of that. Martinez mostly worked as a base for Aero Star’s flying, and he was great at that.

Aero Star got the win, with his springboard splash on Martinez, as Cage & The Mack brawled on the outside. Those two fought a lot, I guess because Cage put The Mack out of Daivari’s trio a couple of weeks ago. Aero Star won the medallion, although Dario Cueto did not appear to hand it over, and nor did they say what it was – the previous medallions having granted immortality (to a man who subsequently apparently died) and fortune.

Backstage, the Trios champions – Angélico, Son of Havoc, and Ivelisse – were training. Catrina appeared and said death was coming for all of them. She held up the mystic rock and lightning crackled behind the champions, and the Disciples of Death suddenly appeared. After a cut, Catrina held out her hand and Mil Muertes took it, stepping over the bodies of the Trios champions.

Now, then. This will a crucible for some, even more than Matanza eating Bael’s face off the other week. Wrestling and magic have not traditionally mixed well, although The Undertaker, Kane, and Bray Wyatt have made a very good living from mixing a little in. This was blatant fantasy, but nothing unusual for the Mexican telenovelas that Lucha Underground styles itself after, or even lucha libre TV – Dr Wagner Jr once transformed one of his enemies into a kitten on a skit on CMLL TV.

So there will be some for whom this was a step too far. But, break it down, and is it any more ridiculous than entrance music playing for a surprise run-in? Or the sudden inability to climb a ladder that befalls most Ladder Match competitors? Or Jeff Jarrett’s eternal search for fame and fortune, post-WCW?

You’ll either care or you won’t. And I don’t. I accept that, to enjoy professional wrestling, I will have to suspend my disbelief, and that’s particularly true for lucha libre and Lucha Underground, for all the Johnny Mundos and Big Rycks, is lucha libre. Dig it, brothers.

Hey, it’s our main event! Melissa introduced Drago, and he came out with his swank new wings. He posed in the ring and out ran Hernandez, who attacked Drago and whipped him with his belt, presumably because Drago had won the four-way match two weeks ago, against Hernandez and two others.

Hernandez left (and then seemingly went straight to Florida, where he appeared on Impact Wrestling the same night), the referee checked that Drago wanted to continue, and then Melissa introduced Mil Muertes, who came out with Catrina. The winner of this match will face Prince Puma for the Lucha Underground title at Ultimo Lucha, although given the way Dario Cueto screws people out of title shots I wouldn’t bet on that.

Muertes overpowered and bulled Drago early doors, although Drago did get some shine with some high-flying. The match spilled to the outside and Muertes rammed Drago into the ringpost and then threw him into the crowd, scattering people and chairs everywhere. He picked up some chairs and threw them on top of Drago as the crowd chanted, “we want tables!”

Muertes grabbed Drago and dragged him over to the announcers table and then powerbombed him onto it. Back in the ring, Drago made a brief comeback, hitting a DDT which took both men down, and then he hit a springboard into his whacky pin but Muertes rolled it through and beat him down.

Muertes then hit the Flatliner for the win, and the number one contendership to the Lucha Underground title. After the match, Catrina gave Drago the lick of death, Prince Puma (with Konnan) came out to the top of the Temple stairs for a staredown, and that’s your show.

This was an Okay Show, perhaps one of the weakest of the whole run. There was a lack of Dario Cueto, for the second week running, and the in-ring – the four-way for the medallion apart – wasn’t great. BUT! Ultimo Lucha is five weeks away and the pieces of that puzzle are falling into place. The whole show is still a joy to be a part of, even as a humble viewer, and we’re all praying for season 2.

(Lucha Underground airs in the US on the El Rey Network on Wednesdays at 9pm ET, and en Español on Unimas on Saturdays at 4pm ET. It does not currently air in the UK but you can probably find it somewhere out there in the ether…)

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