Linus Report: Lucha Underground, 10/06/2015

Hey, it’s Lucha Underground! It’s that show that makes a truth out of “wrestling is the male soap opera”.

The show started with Drago standing on top of the Temple. He spread his new dragon wings and then leapt off, presumably soaring away (and not falling to his death).

The announcers welcomed us to the show. Matt Striker thanked this week’s band, Los Rayobacks, and then Vampiro apologised for jumping into the ring on last week’s show to prevent Pentagon Jr breaking Sexy Star’s arm.

Hey, it’s Dario Cueto! He stood in the middle of the ring and spoke to the crowd. He announced Ultimo Lucha, a two-hour season-finale on August 5th. He said tonight we would find out who Prince Puma would face on that show, with a number one contenders match featuring all the luchadors who had already faced him for the title.

He said it would feature Hernandez, King Cuerno, Cage, and Fénix, before remembering that Mil Muertes had put Fénix “six feet under” the other week. Therefore, it would be a three-way to decide who would fight for the title.

Cueto then introduced Blue Demon Jr, making his return to the Temple after Chavo Guerrero Jr took him out last year. Blue Demon Jr looked really natty, wearing a black suit that really set off his mascara azul. Cueto said that he had booked Blue Demon Jr in a match against someone who was also making his return to the Temple – and out came Chavo Guerrero Jr.

Chavo had The Crew with him (well, what’s left of The Crew after Matanza ATE Bael), and Cueto demanded a referee and said that the match would start now, and be an “anything goes” match!

So they had a short match, with Blue Demon Jr fighting in his suit, and the superior numbers told with Chavo & The Crew beating him down, and then finishing him with the frog splash for the win.

In a short video, Drago emerged from some smoke and flapped his wings.

Backstage, wherever Dario Cueto has his brother caged, Chavo Guerrero Jr apologised to Black Lotus, who is being held in a cell opposite Matanza. She said he’d betrayed her and he explained that he was a Guerrero, as if that was enough. He said he hoped she enjoyed her view across the cell…

In the locker room, Dario Cueto was looking in a mirror and Drago appeared. Drago said he should be in the match tonight for the opportunity to face Prince Puma at Ultimo Lucha, since he’d also faced Puma for the title. Cueto agreed but said that if Drago lost, not only would he remain banished from the Temple, he’d also have to unmask.

Hey, it’s Melissa Santos! She introduced the next lucha, a trios contest between Pimpinela Escarlata, Mascarita Sagrada, and the debuting Bengala, against Catrina’s Disciples of Death. Bengala, for those who don’t watch AAA, is Ricky Marvin, who used to be ace in Pro-Wrestling NOAH and is now pretending to be an Indian tiger. *shrug*

So this was pretty much a squash, with the Disciples dominating the action and particularly brutalising Pimpi. Catrina sealed the deal with the Lick of Death to Pimp and the Disciples did a whacky triple-team move for the win. It was a match, and that’s all you can say, really. It won’t trouble the Match of the Year judges.

Johnny Mundo walked into Dario Cueto’s office and asked why he wasn’t in the main event tonight. Cueto said it was because he expected Mundo to be champion by the time Ultimo Lucha came around, because Mundo would face Prince Puma next week in an Iron Man match, with no other matches on the show. Mundo was happy with that.

Hey, it’s Melissa! She introduced Cage, King Cuerno, Hernandez, and finally Drago, for the number one contenders’ match.

So they did a ton of stuff, with Cage and Hernandez working the strength angle and Cuerno & Drago using speed and agility. Hernandez and Cage fought on the outside while Cuerno and Drago fought in the ring. Cuerno hit a sweet uppercut and then Hernandez came in and hit a backbreaker on Cuerno. Cage came back in and hit a dropkick on Hernandez, then dropped him to the mat. Drago hit a huracanrana on Cuerno but got kicked out of the ring.

Cage and Cuerno teamed up to hit a double suplex on Hernandez, and then both went up top and hit dives – Cage with an elbow, and Cuerno with a splash. Then Drago flipped into the ring and hit a senton on Hernandez, too.

Drago hit another huracanrana on Cuerno and leapt onto Cage but Cage caught him and threw him down to the mat. Hernandez came back and took down Cage and Cuerno, who shot back and they brawled to the floor. Killshot was shown watching, up in the rafters.

Cuerno and Cage teamed up again on Drago, before Hernandez cleaned house. Cage came back with a springboard moonsault, and Drago hit a corkscrew dive onto Cuerno on the outside. Cage and Hernandez fought in the ring, and then spilled to the floor. Cuerno taunted Killshot and then hit his sweet, sweet topé suicida onto Cage and Drago.

Back in the ring, Drago powerbomed Hernandez off the apron and then blew mist into Cuerno’s face, before hitting his whacky Dragon’s Tail roll-up for the win to keep his mask, his place in Lucha Underground, and earn a match against Prince Puma at Ultimo Lucha.

After the match, Prince Puma came into the ring and he & Drago had a staredown.

Dario Cueto was peering through his blinds, and looked disappointed at the outcome. He was tapped on the shoulder but when he turned around there was no-one there. He sat in his chair and Catrina armlocked him and said he’d made a mistake not putting Mil Muertes in that match. She asked Cueto why he was in Muertes’s way and Cueto said he would put Muertes against Drago in two weeks to decide the number one contender. She let him go and then vanished into thin air…

This was a Good Show. The in-ring let it down a little, with only the main event being really worthy of this show, and even that was spotty. But the show has such momentum that it’s hard not to get dragged along with it now, and the whole package is intensely enjoyable.

(Lucha Underground airs in the US on the El Rey Network on Wednesdays at 9pm ET, and en Español on Unimas on Saturdays at 4pm ET. It does not currently air in the UK but you can probably find it somewhere out there in the ether…)

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