Linus Report: Lucha Underground, 27/05/2015

Hey, it’s Lucha Underground! Everything about it is perfect – except its definition of a death match!

The show started with the “Previously on…” section, highlighting Mil Muertes & Fénix, Hernandez & Prince Puma, and the dastardly actions of Johnny Mundo. That’s what’s coming up, I guess!

Black Lotus was shown arriving on foot outside The Temple. Chavo Guerrero Jr appeared and told her he knew how she felt, that his grandfather was there when her parents were killed, and that Los Guerreros had no love for the Cuetos. He said she needed to get her revenge the right way – in the ring.

The announcers welcomed us to the show, and Matt Striker thanked this week’s band, Los Rayobacks. They hyped the double main-event: Prince Puma versus Hernandez for the Lucha Underground title, and Fenix versus Mil Muertes in a DEATH MATCH!vHey, it’s Melissa Santos! She introduced Aero Star, who was already in the ring, and his opponent – Johnny Mundo!

So Aero Star and Mundo had a match and it was a Good Match. Aero Star flew all over the shop, and Mundo did a bit of flying himself. Aero Star hit a 619 over the top rope instead of the middle, which was cool, but Mundo got the win with the End of the World.

Vampiro did a sit-down interview with Sexy Star, about her history with Pentagón Jr. She said he was a bully. Vampiro asked her if she’d heard from Super Fly after their mascara contra mascara match and she said she hadn’t but that he was rehabilitating after Pentagón Jr broke his arm. She said she wanted to be a role model for young girls and that she was ready for Pentagón Jr in their submissions-only match next week. Decent stuff.

Hey, it’s Melissa! She introduced the combatants for the Lucha Underground title match – champion Prince Puma and challenger Hernandez!

This company works miracles. Hernandez does not have a good reputation for having Good Matches but these two had a great contest. Yeah, editing might play a part in that but you can’t work from scratch, right? Konnan got involved to take the heat out of Hernandez’s attacks, but Puma got the win without help with the 630 Splash. That’s six successful defenses now. Who’s next?

After a break, Melissa introduced the main event. No messing this week. It’s Mil Muertes versus Fénix in a DEATH MATCH. Now, the term “death match” could mean lots of things – there’s the traditional Texas (or Mexican) Death Match, or even the Japanese death Match, full of barbed-wire & explosions. The Lucha Underground Death Match was… a normal match. A no-DQ match, no count-out match, granted, but a normal match all the same. Disappointing.

But they still had a hell of a match. Muertes came out second, with Catrina & the Disciples of Death, those three weird dudes with the skull masks from the other week. Fénix leaped out onto Mil Muertes while he was making his entrance and Muertes no-sold it like a brick wall. They made it into the ring, and went back and forth, with Fénix flying and Muertes SMASHING.

Muertes knocked Fénix to the outside and hit a dive out onto him, then smashed him into the announce table. He grabbed Fénix, dragged him up the Temple steps to the top of the arena, and then slammed him through the roof of a ringside storeroom. Like, right through. For a moment I thought it was Dario Cueto’s office again and we’d get a shot of him at his desk with Fénix in his lap, but sadly not.

They threw back to the announcers and they said they were taking an unprecedented break while they tried to get inside the storeroom to check on Fénix. After the break, the Disciples of Death broke down the door and carried Fénix out, depositing him in the ring where Mil Muertes hit the flatliner for the win.

After the match, Catrina entered the ring and delivered the lick of death to Fénix, the man of a thousand lives. Quite where we go from here is anyone’s guess!

In the depths of The Temple, Dario Cueto was admonishing The Crew. He asked if they had anything to say for themselves but they stayed silent. He said he had been embarrassed and someone must pay for that. He told them to pick one of them and Mister Cisco and Cortez Castro grabbed Bael. They pressed him up against Matanza’s cell and there was the sound of shredding and pain and lots and lots and lots of blood. Bael’s dead, man. Bael’s dead…

This was a Great Show. It delivered in-ring and the final scene was awesome. I don’t know how they’re going to pay this off because Matanza is bound to be disappointing unless he’s a BEAST but it’s fun getting there, eh?

(Lucha Underground airs in the US on the El Rey Network on Wednesdays at 9pm ET, and en Español on Unimas on Saturdays at 4pm ET. It does not currently air in the UK but you can probably find it somewhere out there in the ether…)

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