Who Can Replace Jeremy Clarkson?

 

So surely, by now, everyone has heard about Jeremy Clarkson’s latest antics, but if you don’t here is a brief summary; Top Gear presenter, Jeremy Clarkson, has been suspended from the BBC due to a disagreement with a producer, allegedly there was a punch involved from Clarkson’s side. Further episodes of the current series of Top Gear have been withheld.

Clarkson has always been a controversial character, whether he is calling all lorry drivers murderers, or making fun of Mexicans, the nation has come to know him as that racist/sexist/misogynist old grandad who we ignore but have a soft spot for. But this time, for the BBC, he has taken it too far after, allegedly, punching a producer during an argument. So who could replace Clarkson now that he has been suspended? Well, here at Vulture Hound we have a few suggestions.

 

Alan Partridge

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If you want someone as clueless to the 21st century thinking, as Clarkson is, then look no further than Partridge. Like Jeremy, he is a journalist, of sorts, well he presents a radio show. Although his car history is a bit, let’s say, God awful, I’m sure he’d get on swimmingly with James May as they could discuss their interesting choice in clothes, and cars.

 

Nick Clegg

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Soon to, hopefully, have one thing in common Clarkson, after the next election, is ex-deputy minister… Sorry, I mean current.

If the BBC are wanting to play it safe, then they could hire Nick Clegg – all they have to do is borrow the stick that David Cameron shoved up his arse way back in 2010, be given a manual on controlling him, and then they’re on their way.

 

The Old Top Gear Presenter

Remember that guy? I can’t even find a photo of the poor old thing on the internet. If you didn’t know, for a few episodes of the all new Top Gear, James May wasn’t even a presenter. Instead they had a small, round man with black hair, and no one has heard from him since. If you’re reading this, get in touch, let us know you’re Ok.

 

Danny Dyer

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Clarkson has a great Twitter page, but no one has a better Twitter page than Danny Dyer… Imagine the colourful way he would describe cars?

“Was gonna have a quick bath……I think I’d rather eat shit on toast…”

“Now I don’t mind house cats…but would u see a tiger acting bollocky and blanking ya coz you ain’t put out any tuna.”

“Remind me never to watch celebrity big brother again please. It’s like watching a snuff film…or….like…holding hands with Max Clifford.” – genuine Danny Dyer tweets

 

Jeremy Clarkson’s Mexican Cousin

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They’ll never know.