During a recent interview with 5 Days of November, two members of Exile84 Tom Miller and Andy Crowe decided to gatecrash the interview refusing to leave unless they themselves received an interview. This is said interview, the one that nobody asked for!**

Speed Round

What would you like to be remembered for?

Tom: Beards, and you have to remember that I’m rocking my summer beard at the minute

Woody (5 Days of November): Yeah Tom’s winter beard is…

Tom: My winter beard is phenomenal, like it is massive. So in September I’ll stop shaving and by January/February it’s down here (gestures a chest length beard).

Andy: I do a similar thing when I do Tough Mudder (an obstacle race), I grow it big so I’m more mighty.

Tom: Next!

Dream dinner guest (dead or alive)?

Andy: Eric Cantona.

Tom: Hulk Hogan.

Andy: Would you want him dead or alive?

Tom: (Laughs) I would want him fighting with Eric Cantona. How many can we have?

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As many as you like in theory, it is a dream dinner party.

Tom: Alright so Hulk Hogan, Eric Cantona.

Woody (5 Days of November): Morgan Freeman.

Tom: Morgan Freeman (“Obviously”) you can put that obviously in brackets –Done!

JFK and my best mate Dave.

What would you cook?

Andy: Steak and chips, oven chips though saves me having to peel them.

Microchips?

Andy: Yes, microchips and microwaveable steak if they do it. Maybe some chicken wings as well?

Tom: For a starter?

How long do you spend in-front of the mirror?

Woody (5 Days of November): Don’t lie!

Tom: Seriously Andy-about ninety percent of his life. I have to spend quite a lot of time because of my hair, it takes like five minutes to do my hair proper but then I don’t give a shit about the rest of my face.

Andy: It takes me twenty minutes to do my hair and look at it!
(Andy is sporting a Bed hair look?!)

(Ruffles hair) I just do that for twenty minutes!

Worst excuse you’ve used to break up with someone?

Andy: I’ve never broke up with anyone.

Tom: (Laughs) Is that true?

Andy: Yeah, I’ve only had one Mrs.

Tom: No way?

Andy: Yeah, the rest of them I just…

Tom: We’re being interviewed!

Andy: Well I can say it, if I was seeing them or something best way is to just ignore everything. Ignore the phone calls, ignore the texts, ignore them knocking on your door, just ignore everything.

Tom: Remember this is Andy talking. Next question.

Best day of your life?

Tom: Am I allowed to have a serious one?

Andy: I don’t think I’ve had it yet.

Tom: That is a good one, but on a serious note I think when my kids were born.

Andy: Which one? It’s one day mate, you’ve got to pick one day.

Tom: (Laughs) I nearly said one then!

Andy: I’m joking obviously you’re allowed two days.

Tom: When my kids were born, equally.

25Religious, spiritualist, humanist or none?

Tom: I’ll let Andy go first because his will be quick.

Andy: Nothing!

Tom: I’m a born again Christian.

Worst thing you’ve ever put in your mouth?

Andy: I can’t remember her name!! Haha..

Tom: Do the ant story!

Andy: Okay it’s a long story, but this is quite possibly the worst thing I’ve put in my mouth. So at work we have something called “The Treat Corner”, and we all contribute to the treat corner by buying things. Now one day I brought some Elephants-Foot/Cream Bun things, I brought two of them one for me, one for the apprentice. I ate mine straight away- obviously- and left the other one for the apprentice. The day went on and he hadn’t ate his cream bun so I said to him “make sure you eat that cream bun before you go home.” So I went home, next day he hadn’t eaten his cream bun so me not wasting it, I put it in the fridge to cool it back down so then I could eat it later on. It’s only been one day, I know it’s cream but it’ll be all right one day. So I put it in the fridge, all good. Four hours later I thought “I’ll have that cream bun now” open the fridge and take a massive bite, and I mean- Massive Bite out of this cream bun. Put the packet down and I notice all of a sudden the packet is moving, so I think “what the hell is that?” I look in and the packet is full of ants! I then look in the cream bun and it is full of ants! So I spit this massive bite of cream bun out and there are ants in my mouth! And it basically went on from there to me screaming a lot and crying.. And now I can’t eat cream buns.

Tom: Well done Andy.

Last band you went to see live?

Andy: I saw Band of Skulls recently.

Tom: I went to see 5 Days of November.

As a child what did you want to be when you grew up?

Tom: A vet.

Andy: A footballer.

What would you say if you met the Queen?

Tom: Hello!

Andy: Hello!

Last time you were starstruck?

Andy: I don’t think I’ve ever really been starstruck recently. I met Keith Flint recently that was good, but I wasn’t really starstruck as such. Probably haven’t been starstruck since I was a kid and I met a load of the Manchester United footballers, then I was kind of starstruck got all their autographs and stuff. I might do this weekend though, but I probably won’t.

Tom: I think if I met De La Soul I might get starstruck.

Andy: Paul McCartney or The Stones? Keith Richards, I’d probably try and lick his face!

Tom: I’ve seen Rob Zombie a few times, and I’m a big Rob Zombie fan and every time I see him on stage I feel a little funny inside.

Weirdest moment of your life?

Andy: There are so many, I don’t even want to go into how horrible my life is. (Laughs)

Tom: There is a story that Andy told earlier about a stag do that he went on, and they ended up in some hole in Blackpool.

Andy: When you trash an un-trashable room that’s the level of horribleness that can happen.

Tom: It’s always pretty bleak.

Would you prefer to only every whisper or only ever shout?

Tom: Shout! I’m really loud in general anyway.

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Worst job pre-band?

Andy: The one I’m in! (Laughs) No I worked at Kerry Foods!

Tom: I worked at an industrial laundry, were we did NHS and old peoples homes sheets and there was a lot of piss and shit. It was horrific!

Who would you like to hear cover one of your songs, and which song?

Andy: Anyone in the world? Jack White, covering one of our songs would be insane because we are all big Jack White fans and we’ve got a lot of influence from him. So for him to do one of our songs would be mind blowing I suppose.

**Disclaimer: The intro is meant as totally tongue in cheek, in reality Exile 84 are some of the nicest guys you’ll meet, and you should really check them out especially if you are in Derby on the 19th September because they are supporting 5 Days of November at the Horse and Groom.

By Kimberley Bayliss

Kimberley is Vulture Hound's Live Editor and a Photographer.