Few bands get to gloat about making a groundbreaking debut album that shakes the industry to its core and gets the world to shut up and listen. The Lost Cavalry¬† were keen to prove this. That’s very considerate of them.

First and foremost, the singer’s voice sounds familiar. It doesn’t sound like he’s in a different band that everyone knows, it’s a clone of the same voice that so many up-and-coming bands are using. It would appear the bravery to be different is a little rare.

Even with the knowledge that they’re not a cheery bunch in mind (happy people don’t call an album ‘Three Cheers for the Undertaker’), opening with ‘Snow City Radio’ is a bit much. If the massively depressing nature of the song doesn’t put you off, maybe the way “snow city radio” is pronounced will force your decision to press the off button (they’re not long words, and don’t need to be). ‘Secret Steps’ would have been a better way to start; a lot cheerier and a lot more encouraging.

Continuing with the theme of songs being in the wrong place, ‘Stars are Ripe’ sounds like it’s finishing the whole thing off. By the time ‘Stare Out to Sea’ starts, you’ve already prepared for it to finish and move onto something else. It’s not like it’s a fantastic track thatdraws you back in either, there’s a hint of ‘bad edit’ to it as sounds like drumsticks clacking together randomly sneak in.

Clearly, they realise there’s a strong sense of dull about the whole affair, so try to liven things up with ‘Fara Fara’. Musically, it almost managed it but the flat vocals make it an impossible task. The guy was born to sing at funerals.

After ‘Only Forward’, it plummets downhill, instead of steadily tumbling as it had been doing. It accomplishes something rather impressive- it drains you. The tracks that come afterwards aren’t all that bad, but the problem is that those 3 extremely boring minutes genuinely take a lot of effort to get through. It’s best to skip it altogether, then ‘Desert Tracks’ doesn’t have to try so hard to resuscitate the whole thing.

How does it continue to go downhill? Well, ‘King of Kings’ forgets that words are better when they’re decipherable, so resigns itself to sounding like a long, echoey moan. ‘The Last Stand’ sounds like he’s crying when it starts- and not because there’s so much emotion. It’s like hearing someone really tired trying desperately to stay awake by singing. But, it’s not like they’re not honest about themselves, the last track is called ‘Mono’- something which I can only assume is a self assessment of the music itself.