Ever gone to a cinema and had some dick head constantly kick the back of your seat? I think we all have at some point. I tried to fix this problem by pushing a law through parliament that allows us the basic human right to hack the legs off said kickers with rusty machetes. Despite strong Tory backing it was labelled as “excessive”. Fucking liberals.
That’s not the only annoyance to grace the human cattle trap that is the urban multiplex, natural habitat of the bell end, the arse wipe and tosser. The floors are sticky, the seats unhygienic, the food overpriced and in most cases there is a distinct lack of alcohol to help you through these Albanian prison camp like conditions.
Enter Aubin & Wills, a designer label that has taken a pop at creating a designer cinema. Velvet chairs, luxury cushions, warm blankets, two seated sofas and a special place to put that Cabernet Sauvignon just within reach when your glass empties and you could do with a drop more. Pay a little extra and you get a foot rest to really lie back and relax.
An intimate cinema that seats no more than 45 people, they could probably put in double the seats but doing so would ruin the cavernous amounts of leg room that for me proved to be one of the high points of the evening. Well I suppose it’s one way to sort out the kicking problem. Not as fun though.
The food and the drink can be expensive but the difference between this food and the kind usually found in more mainstream cinemas is that it was actually expensive to make. This makes it reasonably priced. A phrase so absent from most picture houses you would think it had been barred for soiling itself on the seats.
The popcorn is cooked and seasoned to perfection, the snacks are healthy, natural and taste fantastic. I myself thought the cookies had a satisfying crunch and genuine taste while the Black Pepper and Sea Salt Cashews were to die for. The beer is a little on the exploitative side and there isn’t much in the way of variety. The wine is a better choice for value.
The cinema also features that all too rare commodity that twenty years ago was considered an essential to the screening process. The projectionist. A man/woman gainfully employed to make sure the movie gong experience is as incident free as possible. A man who will not wait ten minutes to even begin bothering why it is that the screen has lost its picture. He will sort it instantly.
Having said all this it should be stated that it is more of an expensive night out than most are probably used to. Unless you go on a Monday when the tickets are priced for extra value, then for most adults it can actually be cheaper.
It beats the bloody Peckham Premier and no mistake.
For a chance to win tickets to the Aubin Cinema follow answer a film themed question from @aubinandwills twitter on the first Monday of every month. Reply @Aubinandwills @Aubincinema with the answer and you could win 2 tickets for a 4pm Saturday showing at Aubin Cinema, 64 – 66 Redchurch Street, Shoreditch, London, E2 7DP