The Floppy Haired Mob Return, Versailles New Series

The floppy-haired dancing, prancing aristocracy of France is back.

Versailles returned to our screens on Monday; a fantastic historical reference to what didn’t happen during the fall of King Louis the XIV and the French Revolution.

The first episode of the third series opens with a senseless narrative: “We can never comprehend this world, we can only learn that there are dangers, and there are secrets, some secrets bring with them ” YAWWWNNNNNNNNNNNNN!

It’s all in reference to Versailles coinciding with one of the more peculiar stories deriding from the reign of King Louis; the mystery of the man in the iron mask.

Initial historical theories are good, but Versailles will somehow cock it up, morphing it into an EastEnders style screaming match crossed over with a Sex in the City booty-call.

Blagden returns as the uncharismatic king. He’s constantly gazing into the distance, looking as bored as the queue at Morrisons, thinking this is the way to portray the sacrilegious Louis XIV.

Louis’ latest sexual desire is Francoise De Maintenon, who has some shady past desperate to be revealed by the banished-from-court Madame de Montespan.

Emperor Leopold Of Hungary, being held as the most extravagant captive in all history, has an affair with Louis’ wife. Louis’ brother has returned from war with a hero; a humble bootmaker by the name of Guillaume. To show he’s truly humble and down to earth- and, of course, poor- he’s given a northern accent. In France. In the 17th century.

It is condescending natures of the show like this that make me sigh with frustration. The BBC produces brilliant, original, thought-provoking drama on one hand (City and the City), then this on the other.

But that’s the BBC for you. Catering to 60 million different opinions across the UK.

Versailles continues BBC Two Mondays 9pm.