CM Punk: The Cult of Personality

The internet went crazier than normal recently as ‘The best in the world’ CM Punk was announced as a guest at Pro Wrestling Tees meet and greet event in Chicago. The UFC contracted fighter hasn’t set foot in a pro wrestling ring since leaving WWE. This announcement got minds racing as to whether Punk will return soon or appear at Cody and Young Bucks ‘All In’ event.

It sounds like a no by the way but let us dream.

Punk signed with the UFC as a fighter in 2014 and bear in mind he doesn’t come from a combat sports background and has been training at Duke Roufus’ gym, a home to elite MMA fighters Tyron Woodley, Anthony Pettis and Ben ‘Funky’ Askren. He debuted at UFC 203 in September 2016 in a defeat to Micky Gall, a brown belt in jiujitsu. Being an MMA and a CM Punk fan, I would’ve liked Punk to grow in regional cards for the experience. But I get it, he makes money, he puts backsides on seats and that’s what the UFC wants and needs.

CM Punk returned at UFC 225 losing to Mike Jackson via decision. In this three-round bout, Punk showed heart and passion for living a dream. It had been a year and a half since his introduction to a UFC octagon and Interestingly Jackson lost his debut to Mickey Gall in quicker time than Punk, The former WWE world champion MMA record stands at 0-2.

What now for the Chicago born native? Let us dream a dream that Pro Wrestling is CM Punk’s first love once more.

ROH/NJPW

Punk walks through the ROH curtain to interrupt members of the Bullet Club. Will he face Omega and Rhodes for leadership? No, he feuds with the biggest faction outside the WWE and begins by going for Hangman Page a future world champion. This’ll get the blood pumping and showcase how much Page has grown as a talent and see how Punk hasn’t missed a step.

Or…

Joins forces with the ‘cosmetically’ pleasing Briscoe Brothers, Mark and Jay. Two long-standing veterans of ROH. Jay a two-time world champion and with his brother Mark, nine-time tag team champions. Punk partners the brothers in a six-man tag title challenge. Together they’re human pipe bombs and begin a new reign of terror by irritating and competing against the best, The Kingdom, SoCal Uncensored, Guerrillas of Destiny and Motor City Machine Guns. Culminating in ROH enforcer Bully Ray and CM Punk standing at the centre competing to surpass each other on the mic.

How about this…

He turns up at NJPQ to begin a program with Suzuki Gun’s Zack Sabre Jr.  This has attitude written all other it. Two wrestlers who are damn good at what they do and know it. Bringing an interesting technical and intense story alive, the fans who follow will lap this up with the Vegan vs Straight Edge.

Indies

How about Punk vs Matt Riddle? The King of Bros left MMA for Pro Wrestling and has worked hard adapting to the professional wrestling ring. Winning titles around the globe, building a portfolio for a future run with WWE or NXT. His cool surfer dude charm with strong mat skills makes a match with Punk feel like an exciting game of chess and we can see how good Riddle has become.

A huge favourite on the independent scene is a guy who’s constantly in five-star matches around the world, Walter. Out comes Punk at Progress to face him, so we get PCM Punk turns up at punk rock wrestling. The two will bring the house down anywhere in the world and given time would be contenders of the year.

How about a return of the Straight Edge Society?

Punk brings together a new Straight Edge Society, with Bea Priestly, the demonic rocking chair wrestler needs a martyr according to Punk. He offers her the chance to be saved. Punk shows up at numerous events to change Priestly. Ospreay appears to defend her honour, doing so brings the Straight Edge Superstar vs the Aerial Assassin. Plenty of fast-paced action near falls. Ospreay hits the Oscutter on Punk, but Priestly interferes turning on Ospreay and joins the Straight Edge Society with Brody King and flamboyant Scottish wrestler, Joe Hendry who looks to Punk for a new way. Ospreay lays in the middle of the ring as the SES stand over him. Bea Priestly blows a kiss to the defeated Ospreay.

The new SES, Punk, King, Priestly and Hendry go global, facing Killer Elite Squad, Chaos or even British Strong Style. Ending with Punk vs Dunne, The Straight Edge Superstar vs the Bruiserweight.

 

TNA

Back to singles as Punk chases Austin Aries around the independent scene, finally turning up at TNA. Punk is highly relevant in the wrestling world and if TNA acquired a talent like him, their viewing figures will smash through the roof. Punk vs Austin Aries is a magical match-up, one forged in the fires of early Ring of Honor much like many of the dream match-ups here, and one many will tune in to witness.

WWE

What if…what if he heads back to the WWE…I know, but let’s dream?  Roman Reigns stands in the middle of the ring amongst many Cena style chants. The music of Cult of personality plays, out walks Punk, mic in hand and ready to hit us all with a ‘pipe-bomb’. Guess what, it’ll be in Chicago. The heated debate of who’s the best, who’s yard this is. Reigns bite backs about UFC losses and Punk hits back telling Reigns he’s not good enough for the imaginary brass ring. Punk brings the best out people in the ring and on the mic and head to a battle for the best in the world.

Punk turns the heat up on Seth Rollins, the two battle it out on the mic and in the ring. putting their bodies, their soul on the line for the baying crowd. Oh man, the saliva’s pouring from my mouth like when Homer dreams of doughnuts.

How about Smackdown for a one on one with the Phenomenal One, AJ Styles. In the same vein as Rollins. The two can have immense high paced matches, with anticipation creating a cacophony of passion.

A machine from his ROH days, Samoa Joe. Their powerful mic work involves the crowd emotionally in a long captivating story leading to a “This is Awesome” chant as they face one and other in the ring evolving their contest from back in the day.

Returning against old adversaries such as Jeff Hardy (Just say No, Jeff). Punk managed to push Hardy to the limits on the mic and in the ring. Funnily enough, there’d be plenty of grudge matches to choose from such as the “doofus” brother in law Triple H, or a show-stealing rematch with Chris Jericho. Oh, oh the latter could form a tag team and be the greatest heels any company could see, Straight Edge Jericho?

 

NXT

Punk takes over NXT disrupting Aleister Black. Two different personalities and strong styles. Black sits crossed legged in the centre of the ring…Punk walks out stops, at the top of the ramp he smirks, sits crossed legged as proceeds to tell Black and the NXT universe why he’s still the best in the world, he rises and tells us all he’s here to save a belt that needs saving. Black sits at the centre of the ring cross-legged with the belt across his lap.

Image via wwe.com

A few ideas for the saviour of WWE ice lollies to come back and rub the Wrestling cosmos up the wrong way, the only way he knows.