From The Impact Zone – March 15th, 2018

Crossroads last week opened the Next Chapter the best possible way. The show was all about real good wrestling. As we ride through Redemption, the next IMPACT PPV that will take place on April 22, this Next Chapter continues with the infamous Feast or Fired Match. One match, 4 briefcases on poles, 3 title matches and one pink slip in them. Who will have a chance for the World Championship, the X-Division title and the Tag Team Championship? And who will be fired? Also tonight, Taya and Rosemary will finally square off, Matt Sydal will reveal who is his Spiritual Guide, Jimmy Jacobs will give a last chance to Abyss to come to the Impact Zone and Sami Callihan will take on Fallah Bahh. Let’s get ready for some action so, your French Enygma Steph way, of course…

Before the show started, we saw Jeremy Borash introducing the 9 men involved in the “Feast or Fired” Match (yes, Jeremy Borash…)

Sami Callihan (with Jake and Dave Crist) vs. Fallah Bahh

That’s 9 episodes of IMPACT in a row that has kicked off with a wrestling match. And that’s nice. Callihan made his way to the ring with his 2 “brothers”, but also with his best friend, his baseball bat. Sami tried to attack, but Bahh stopped him and scared him away. Sami tried again and Bahh belly bumped him down (it worked pretty well…). Bahh had the advantage of size and power but Callihan understood where was his weakest point, his bare feet.

Bahh was in control with a shoulder block and a running crossbody. But Callihan decided to bit Bahh’s foot. Good move as Sami took control with rights, chops and a bicycle kick. Many chops after, Bahh rallied with a corner splash and a belly-to-belly suplex. Sami fought off the Samoan drop, attacked with clotheslines but Bahh finally hit the Samoan drop. He headed up to the second rope for the Banzai drop but Callihan was able to put him on his shoulder and hit the Death Valley Driver for the win.

oVe stopped Bahh as he was walking the ramp to go backstage and brought him back to the ring. Jake grabbed a chair under the ring and gave to Callihan his bat. Callihan went to do to Bahh what they did to Eddie Edwards 2 weeks ago. But Edwards ended up running out to make the save. Edwards taunted oVe with a pipe as they were fleeing backstage. The rematch will take place at Wrestle Con on April 6 and it will be an I Quit match…

My banana is better than yours… 

Austin Aries was supposed to be interviewed by McKenzie Mitchell about winning the title and his book but Alberto El Patron interrupted them because he needed to tell Aries a few things. Impact is El Patron’s show. El Patron has never lost the title. El Patron respects Aries but disrespected him when he offered him a big steak. Aries replied by pulling out a banana and claiming he got what he needed from eating that.

El Patron continued to disrespect Aries asking him why he was so rude by not eating. Alberto let think he was trying to be nice, but he put the steak on Aries’ face. Alberto insisted he was trying to be friendly and didn’t know about Aries’ vegan stuff. When Alberto promised to buy two of Aries’ books, Aries slapped one against Alberto’s chest. Aries added: “I’m making the champion’s purse now, you remember what that was like, right?” It was tense, but the match is now official… (meanwhile, Braxton Sutter tried to flirt with Kiera Hogan in front of Allie…)

Here came the Monsters… 

Jimmy Jacobs and Kongo Kong came to the ring and confirmed innocent people were getting hurt because Joseph Park refuses to unleash Abyss. And he was ready to unleash Kongo on a path of destruction if he didn’t get what he wants. Jacobs tried one final time because he’s a nice guy ( a great Princess…), “Where is Abyss?” But when you ask for Abyss, Father James Mitchell is never too far…

As Jacobs thought Mitchell didn’t know who he was, Mitchell replied Jacobs reminded him a lot of himself as he’s a monster fan. Mitchell said he sold his soul and made his son, Abyss, the World Champion. And they ended up ruling Impact Wrestling for a long time. But Mitchell ended up pushing Abyss so hard as his personality splintered to become Joseph Park. Jacobs claimed he didn’t care. But Mitchell also didn’t care of all that Jacobs has done thus far and thanked him in a way for trying to awake the monster. Finally here came Abyss who faced off with Kongo and sent him to the floor. Mitchell announced that next week Kongo Kong and Abyss will face off in a Monster’s Ball match.

Taya Valkyrie vs. Rosemary

Rosemary hit a spear on Taya right at the bell and laid in strikes. Taya rolled out to the floor but Rosemary connected with an apron cannonball. Back in the ring, the high cross followed. Rosemary then missed a charge, allowing Taya to fight back with arm drags and strikes. Taya missed corner knees, Rosemary replied with a nasty German suplex. Rosemary bit Taya on the leg, but Taya hit a double stomp.

Taya connected with kicks. Rosemary fired back, only to be taken down. Taya laid in strikes and set Rosemary up top. Taya laid in more rights, was able to fight of the Tarantula submission hold to slam Rosemary down. Taya then grounded the action with an STF variation, but Rosemary reached the ropes. Rosemary fired up with strikes but Taya replied with a curb stomp. Taya missed a moonsault, allowing Rosemary to hit a running knee strike and a huge Cactus clothesline that sent both women to the floor. The match ended as a double count-out.

But it was not over. Rosemary and Taya fought on the ramp, with Rosemary kicking Taya. Rosemary went for a spear but stopped at the very end of the stage. Taya capitalized, grabbed Rosemary to hit The Road to Valhalla on the stage. Taya stood tall this time, but the war is not over for sure…

– Backstage, Eli Drake fired Chris Adonis because he wanted to do the “Feast or Fired” for himself. EC3 told McKenzie Mitchell he had a vision he would walk away with a briefcase and he already knew what would be in it. In LAX Lair, Homicide brought some money so Konnan and the rest of the group could make plans to go out and party.

– Still Backstage, Lashley was talking with Brian Cage about how he didn’t appreciate Cage telling people he “saved” Lashley last week. Lashley said if he wanted to make a name around here maybe Cage should fight him. Cage stood up, stared at him and walked away.

Namasté Matt and his Spiritual Guide

Impact Grand Champion and X-Divison Champion Matt Sydal were ready to present the fans his spiritual guide. Without him, he didn’t know where he would be today. Here came “Enlightened” Josh Mathews who claimed Sydal was the “north star of enlightenment.” Mathews then asked everyone they should just try to centre their chi.

Mathews then had a gift for Sydal, his spirit animal, well a coloured tiger mask. Sydal replied if he’s a champion, so is Mathews, and so he awarded him the Impact Grand Championship. Of course, Josh Mathews was very happy… (the yogi I am is still under her table laughing…)

Eli Drake, Petey Williams, KM, Tyrus, EC3, Caleb Konley, Trevor Lee, Ishimori, Moose, and Rohit Roju (Feast or Fired Match)

Everyone brawled at the bell, EC3 started to toss bodies while KM tried to climb and Moose cut him off. Tyrus took out EC3 while Petey Williams ran wild but Ishimori stopped him. Trevor Lee got involved but Petey connected with a hurricanrana to the floor. Raju hit a suicide dive and Ishimori followed with the golden triangle moonsault to the floor. Petey hit the Canadian Destroyer on Lee and grabbed the case #2.

After the break, Moose was on fire and destroyed everyone in the ring. EC3 cut him off and teased that he was going to jump to the outside but went for a case instead. Moose stopped him and grabbed the case #4.

Lee and Ishimori were in the ring now, Ishimori hit a handspring kick to Lee’s face. Konley got in for the save, hit some big chops and a Saito Suplex. Lee tried to heads up to get a case, but Raju stopped him. Tyrus came back to hit a bunch of suplexes and tossed a bunch of wrestlers. Drake flopped down and the crowd liked that. Tyrus headed up for a case, EC3 hit a low blow to grabs the case #3. He then smacked Tyrus in the face with the case.

A new brawl between Drake, Raju, Lee, Konley, Tyrus and Ishimori. Drake cut off Ishimori and hit the Gravy Train. KM attacked but ate a gravy train. Raju tastes the Gravy Train too, Drake tossed Konley and then hit a massive German Superplex on Lee who was climbing to grab the last case. But it was Drake who grabbed Case #1. All the winners stared at each other, case in hand, on the ramp.

Next week the cases will be opened up. Which case has the pink slip in? You’re also invited to a Monster’s Ball. Nice program. The show was a little light on action, but sometimes you need to go through these moments to build up what’s going to follow. Rosemary and Taya without a shadow of a doubt offered the match of the night, nasty, vicious, great. It was also nice to see James Mitchell back in the Impact Zone (last time was Slammiversary in August 2017…). I love what Impact has become since the beginning of the year. And you, fans, are showing it and proving it even more every week. And if you agree with me, of course, I see you next week… And never forget to stay #eNYGMAtic… 

All pics, videos, and screenshots courtesy of Impact Wrestling.