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The SmackDown Review – 5th September 2017

This week there seemed to be less focus on actual wrestling due to a contagious word-vomit related virus spreading amongst the SmackDown roster. This illness moved quickly and resulted in superstars spitting out absolute savagery and not holding back on their thoughts. Turns out, this was just WWE Creative giving zero f*cks for who they might offend… Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

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Opening this week’s show was James Ellsworth and Carmella ahead of Ms Money in the Bank’s non-title match against Natalya. Yet, as Ellsworth started to introduce Carmella, he was interrupted by Kevin Owens, who took it upon himself to be the special guest referee.
As the New Face of Refereeing tried to take the referee’s jersey, Shane McMahon, came storming to the ring. Shane O’Mac made himself clear that all of Owen’s misfortune in the ring has been brought upon by himself. It was then that Owens insulted Shane’s family and, obviously, Shane warned him to back off. Owens went for it a second time, going too far by saying the McMahon’s would be better off if Shane died in the helicopter crash. Like I said, savage case of word vomit. Shane pounced on Owens, beating him down, which resulted in staff pulling them apart.

Backstage, Owens threatened Daniel Bryan that he would sue the McMahon Family and the WWE. KO said there will be criminal charges upheld against the McMahons and then left. Does this mean Owens is the voice of the people?.. probably not.

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During a backstage segment Daniel Bryan received a phone call where he was instructed to carry out some dirty work in the ring. So the man who stood for all of us against the company is now a corporate yes man (see what I did there). Bryan asked Shane to join him in the ring in order for them to discuss McMahon Jrs actions earlier on in the show. McMahon came to the ring and Bryan berated him for losing his temper and putting the company at risk. He revealed that his phone call was from big Daddy Vince who ordered Shane to be… FIRED! suspended indefinitely. Shane left the arena to a chorus of “thank you Shane” from the crowd. Backstage, Bryan approached Owens and told him Vince McMahon would be at Smackdown next week to address the situation.

When some actual wrestling finally happened we saw Natalya defeat Carmella due to Ellsworth attempting to cash-in the MITB briefcase on her behalf. Carmella tossed the briefcase out of the ring and yelled at Ellsworth so Natalya captalised like all good champions do and rolled her up for the pin. After the match, Carmella was infected with the aforementioned word vomit and wished that Ellsworth had died at birth. This led to her parting ways with the Chinless Wonder.

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In a later backstage segment, Ellsworth pleaded with Carmella not to leave him, saying he’d do anything. She kissed him, even though he’s married and she is with Big Cass, then slapped him. This left Ellsworth more confused than you when you walked in on your Mum and Dad having a naked cuddle.

The Other Bits:

– At the start of the show, Tom Philips and Byron Saxton payed tribute to JBL despite him not being dead and only leaving to be the Global Ambassador for Beyond Sport. Corey Graves has replaced him as the new color commentator for SmackDown.

– Aiden English somehow beat Sami Zayn who missed a splash which allowed English to take advantage with a roll-up.

– The Usos picked a Street Fight as their stipulation for the tag team title match against the New Day in Las Vegas next week.

– Benjamin and Gable did not feature. Neither did Breezango or Bobby Roode. Sad times.

– Baron Corbin defeated Tye Dillinger but AJ Styles approached Dillinger after the match to hand him a United States Championship match next week. You can see where this is going already.

– Shinsuke Nakamura defeated Randy Orton in a No. 1 Contender Match to face Jinder Mahal at Hell in a Cell.

Ziggler’s One-Man Show:

Dolph Ziggler made his re-debut OR rather, he did not. The two-time World Heavyweight Champion made his way out but then quickly accused the fans of not appreciating his in-ring work and only caring about stupid gimmicks. I mean, he’s bang on the money and looks as though the best way to get over right now is to be a fourth wall breaker. The Show-Off seemingly left but then came back as John Cena, music et al. This only emphasised his point about gimmicks and to which he then suggested the fans might like nostalgia instead. So off he went before coming back as a weird “Macho Man” Randy Savage impersonator complete with his very own Miss Elizabeth. Ooooh yeaaah! Even better, he then came out to Naomi’s neon spectacular entrance, and berated the locker room by saying anyone can do that but nobody can do what he does in the ring. Ziggler finally said he doesn’t care about the fans and left.

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The entire segment was excellent and should serve as a reminder that there’s still life in DZ.