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“Career Opportunities” – Lucha Underground Review (S03 E34)

Previously on Lucha Underground, Cortez Castro and Joey Ryan were uncovered agents in The Temple, both on a mission to bring down Dario Cueto. But Ryan revealed to Cueto Veneno was, in fact, Castro and stripped him of his mask. Dario Cueto revealed he had gathered 7 ancient Aztec Medallions representing the 7 tribes of the ancient Aztec World. Whoever held all seven of them would gain a “gift from the gods” and becomes the “Gift of Gods Champion”. The winner also earns a shot at the Lucha Underground Championship. The Gift of Gods title is vacant as soon as the Champion cashes in his match against The Lucha Underground Champion. Prince Puma won The Dario Cup and earned a shot at the Lucha Underground Championship Johnny Mundo successfully defended against Rey Mysterio. 

What to expect this week? The Rabbit Tribe of Paul London, Saltador and Mala Suerte, and Son of Havoc won 4 Aztec Medallions, 3 have yet to be competed for. Cortez Castro is set to compete against Joey Ryan in a “5-0 street fight” for an Aztec Medallion. Doctor Frenchy is telling you all… and it’s starting right now…

Aztec Medallion Match: Drago w/ Kobra Moon vs. The Mack

The Queen is never far way for her fellow Reptiles. Drago went straight into the match with a dropkick, a kick to the face, a tornado DDT off the top turnbuckle. But The Mack wasn’t going to surrender yet, to Kobra Moon’s dismay.

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Mack rallied, hit an arm drag, and then a running kick to the face of Drago. He continued with a spinning shoulder block but Drago fought back with a spinning DDT. The Mack came back with a running forearm, a running kick and a back suplex.

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As always Kobra Moon rushed to the apron to distract Mack and allow Drago to connects with kicks and the Dragon’s Lair on The Mack for the win.

Result: Drago defeats The Mack to earn one of the 7 Aztec Medallions

An infuriated Mack hit a Stunner on Drago after the match. But Pindar and Vibora, the Lucha Underground Trios Champions alongside Drago, came to the ring to attack The Mack. Vibora ended up grounding The Mack with a chokeslam. The Reptile Tribe celebrated in front of the Mack’s lying body.

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Rey Mysterio and the Cueto legacy

Dario Cueto was in the ring to hype next week’s 100th episode edition of the show. He announced El Dragon Azteca Jr. vs. Pentagon Dark for one of the 7 Aztec Medallions next week. But also Johnny Mundo, PJ Black, Ricky Mandel and Taya vs. Prince Puma and 3 partners of his choosing. And of course, Rey Mysterio vs. The Monster Matanza Cueto in the main event. Dario Cueto asked Mysterio to come to the ring to tell him he had to leave the building because his brother is going to warm up for their upcoming match facing the Rabbit Tribe tonight and he didn’t want Mysterio to interfere in the match. Mysterio refused but Cueto threatened to fire his protégé El Dragon Azteca if he didn’t go. Mysterio promised to end the Cueto family legacy next week before leaving the Temple.

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5-0 Street Fight for an Aztec Medallion Match: Cortez Castro vs. Joey Ryan

Everything you wanted to see of LAPD was at ringside and in the ring. Swat team members, police car, doughnuts, coffee, shields, nightsticks, handcuffs, digital rectal exam, tazer, crime scene tapes, mace, but also baseball bat and sledgehammer. Yes, all of that.

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After putting his lollipop in his underpants, Ryan tried to run away but the policemen prevented him from doing it. Castro followed him at ringside to hit a tornado DDT on the floor. He then grabbed some nightsticks while Ryan grabbed handcuffs and a riot shield he set in the corner. He sent Castro in it and beat him down with a nightstick, Castro was busted open.

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Ryan then put on a medical glove and lubed it up with oil to check Castro’s bum spot. Castro fired up by this unusual visit, picked up the pace and hit an enziguri.  The action went to ringside, Ryan slammed Castro into several SWAT guys before sending riot shields into the ring. Castro slammed Ryan off of the police car, grabbed a baseball bat, missed Ryan and destroyed the headlights of the car.

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Ryan grabbed a sledgehammer, tried to attack Castro but broke the windshield instead. Ryan hit a low blow and a rock bottom onto the hood of the car. Back in the ring, Ryan set up a pile of riot shields, but Castro used one to charge Ryan and sent him to the ringside floor. They fought at the coffee and doughnuts table, Castro poured “hot coffee” right into Ryan’s underpants.

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But Castro had another idea and got a taser in order to shock Ryan’s already hot balls. The action went to the announce table, Castro connected with a suplex on Ryan from the table to the floor. Back in the ring, Castro grabbed the fatal weapon, mace, and sprayed Ryan’s face with it. He then hit a Falcon Arrow onto the pile of riot shields for the win.

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Good, hardcore and funny match at the same time. If revenge had a taste, Castro would be delighted of the mix of coffee, doughnuts and mace he melted Ryan in.

Result: Cortez Castro defeated Joey Ryan and earned one of the 7 Aztec Medallions

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The Rabbit Tribe (Paul London, Mala Suerte & Saltador) vs. Matanza Cueto

The Monster vs. the 3 Carrot maniacs… London, Mala Suerte and Saltador were not enough to even make Matanza move. The Rabbit Tribe even tried to make him dance, the Monster was still not moving and became angry. Matanza attacked all 3 of them but the Tribe was able to take him down thanks to their number’s advantage. London did a great job with superkicks and dropkicks. But the Tribe was decided to dance again, which drove Matanza even angrier. He tossed all his opponents around the ring. But Mala Suerte and Saltador attacked Matanza with superkicks and confetti. London was able to reach the top rope and hit a nice shooting star press. But Matanza, as the Monster he is, hit a superplex and The Wrath of Gods on Saltador for the win.

Result: Matanza Cueto defeats the Rabbit Tribe

Dario Cueto rushed to the ring to raise his brother’s hand after the match.

The Champion vs. The Cueto Cup winner

These two has a long story in common. They main-evented the first-ever episode of Lucha Underground. They competed in the first-ever Lucha Underground Championship match. But The pride of Boyle Heights is once again face to face with the Mayor of Slamtown. Prince Puma cuts a promo in the ring. Johnny Mundo comes out. Puma reminded Mundo about the fact that he beat him to become the first Lucha Underground Champion and promised to take him to Slamtown at Ultima Lucha Tres.

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But a very clever Mundo wanted to make things a little bit more interesting and suggested a title vs. mask match. Puma agreed. But Dario Cueto decided to raise the bar and suggested a title vs. career match. Vampiro, Puma’s mentor, at ringside told him to say no. But Puma hit Mundo with a knee strike, gave a glance at the belt before accepting Cueto’s stipulation. To Vampiro’s dismay…

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Only a few episodes until the end of the season… This week we had the chance to witness a very good match, really like no other, funny and rough at the same time. Next week is episode 100, with Matanza Cueto vs. Rey Mysterio, the Worldwide Underground against Prince Puma team and Pentagon Dark vs. El Dragon Azteca for the last MedallionWho’s going to join Paul London, Mala Suerte, Saltador, Son of Havoc, Cortez Castro and Drago in The Gift of Gods Championship match? Wait and see…  but until next week, hasta la vista!

All pictures and screenshots courtesy of El Rey Network.