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The SmackDown Review – 8th August 2017

I’m going to cut to the chase this week and be quite brief. First of all, however, I would like to point out my superiority over my Raw Review counterpart subordinate, Elliot Dyson.
The image below clearly shows I’m winning our “phony” ratings war and serves as a little reminder for yourself that this is still the number one SmackDown review for VultureHound on a Wednesday evening. Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

Look at them sweet-sweet re-tweets baby

Some bloke called John Cena who lost to Shinsuke Nakamura last week got the show started. He praised the King of Strong Style for crushing his hopes of becoming the 17 time World Champion at SummerSlam and thus confirming his status as the GOAT despite what Chris Jericho self-proclaims. Cena then addressed the issue which most people missed last week. Baron Corbin attacked Nakamura once the show went off-air last week but Cena came to his defence as he slammed the moody tweener through the announce table with an Attitude Adjustment. Obviously Corbin wasn’t best pleased about this and interrupted Cena during his rant. Cena called him a “dumpster fire” whatever that means. At that point Daniel Bryan came out for a cheap pop and also schedule a match between Cena and Corbin at SummerSlam. The worst part about the segment was that Baron Corbin has new entrance music and it isn’t as menacing as his old one.

Just in case you forgot Corbin is Mr Money in the Bank // wwe.com

I Do This Shit For Free:

– Dem urban Usos defeated the pairing of Tye Dillinger and Sami Zayn in “one on one action” according to a visually impaired Byron Saxton. Jimmy Uso made Tye Dillinger submit to a Tequila Sunrise. New Day jumped the Usos after the match.

– The Fashion Files continued with more Fashion Peaks. It was revealed that Arn Anderson destroyed Fandango’s horse, “Tully”, after admitting that he did it because he should’ve named it after him for being the real workhorse of the Brain Busters. Dango also revealed who abducted him: “Aliens”. This apparently has given him the ability to see in to the future. To be continued…

– Charlotte defeated Lana in the squashiest of squash matches.

Shane O’Whack amiritelads? // wwe.com

– Shane McMahon set the record straight over his impartiality as the special guest referee for the match between AJ Styles and Kevin Owens at SummerSlam. The segment ended in further controversy when Styles tried to Pele Kick Owens but accidentally hit Shane O’Mac.

– James Ellsworth made the comeback of the century and interfered to help Carmella defeat Naomi in a non-title match.

The night’s main event saw Randy Orton ONCE AGAIN take on Jinder Mahal. The match was billed as a “grudge match” even though it was no different that an other non-title singles match I have seen before. Orton won the match after he was able to counter a Khallas into an RKO. When the show was about to go off air Rusev attacked Orton to set up yet another anti-foreigner match with Orton as the American hero.

“Machka Man Rusev Savage”™ – Bradley Tiernan // wwe.com

I’m left frustrated once again after this week’s episode. Largely due to WWE’s persistence with the evil foreigner shtick and further using Orton in such a feud. The guy couldn’t beat Jinder when it really mattered so who cares if he wins or loses to Rusev with no stakes on the line? I don’t. Yet, I come back every week to review this shite so you don’t have to waste much of your time. YOU’RE WELCOME.