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The SmackDown Review – 9th May 2017

Every week I’m required to come up with some witty preamble regarding this week’s SmackDown and/or my opposite Raw number, Elliot Dyson. Yet, in a bizarre turn of events, I find myself in agreement with him. WWE’s live shows have been in London this week and, unfortunately, it has been nothing more than a throwaway for cheap pops about British culture. Oh, there is one thing neither of us can still agree on however. We’re not sure who is more attractive: Breezango or your mum? Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The SmackDown Review.

Opening the show was the WWE Champion, Randy Orton, but he was quickly interrupted by the one and only Maharaja, Jinder Mahal accompanied by the Singh Brothers. Mahal treated us all to pictures from his photoshoot with the WWE Championship. I guess he has to grasp that moment as tightly as he can before he finds himself buried by a very hefty shovel. After this, Kevin Owens, AJ Styles, and Baron Corbin all came out to remind us that the US Title is just a meaningless prop in the eyes of the WWE Championship. The night’s main event was set up when Sami Zayn ran to the ring and attacked Corbin, creating a six-man tag team match. The match itself allowed everyone to hit their signature moves in quick succession towards the end before Mahal eventually pinned Orton to pick up the victory for his team.

The almighty maharaja lifting the hand of Jinder Mahal // wwe.com

All Filler No Killer:

– Natalya defeated Becky Lynch and, for some reason, every available woman on the roster was at ringside. In a backstage segment after the match, Naomi, Becky and Charlotte Flair issued a challenge to the Welcoming Committee for a six-person tag team match at Backlash. The latter of the former troupe (does that make sense?) is slowly showing signs of a face turn. Watch this space

– There was a vignette for Lana’s imminent debut where she has been rebranded as some sexy dancer type thing. I’m reluctant to get excited because she can’t dance. But she can wrestle. I think.

Meet Russian women in your area // wwe.com

– Rusev once again had a video message demanding a title match if he is to appear on SmackDown. Then went on to say he is appearing on SmackDown next week because he’s an evil foreigner and logic is for smart American’s.

– Erick Rowan defeated Luke Harper. There is no real story here.

– Dolph Ziggler once again targeted Shinsuke Nakamura, talking Smack as if he didn’t know that was reserved for after 205Live. Dolph criticised Nakamura for having yet to compete on SmackDown but the latter issued a challenge. Ziggler declined and said he would fight him at Backlash… you know, as has been billed for about 3 weeks now? Ziggler hit Nakamura with a cheap shot on the way out.

The Fashion Files continue // wwe.com

Undoubtedly the best part of the show was Breezango starring in another episode of the “Fashion Files.” The pair made their way through the backstage area, where they comically traced some lead paint to hunt down their perpetrators. As it turned out, the perps were none other than The Ascension who were bizarrely gearing themselves up for their match by shouting at one another in a contained room. Breezango won the match with relative ease which served only to continue their push ahead of the tag title match against the Uso’s at Backlash. After the match, The Usos came out and cut a promo further hyping the match for SmackDown’s PPV. I’m almost certain that Fandango tasted the paint at one point so if he’s not on next week’s episode we can assume he’s succumbed to lead poisoning. I hope not as the duo are quickly becoming the highlight of SmackDown.