Over the last two weeks, VH have brought you a collection of Christmassy classics in our Twelve Films of Christmas. The majority are well-worn and much-loved festive favourites, visited by young and old alike year in, year out.
Our final film is not.
Indeed, to be completely frank, our final film is a pile of crap.
Our final film is Jack Frost 2: Revenge of the Mutant Killer Snowman.
The origin of this annual tradition is a simple one. Back in my salad days, when I was at university in the cheery coastal town of Aberystwyth, I lived with our Online Editor, Michael. Every Christmas, Michael and I would endeavour to get each other increasingly terrible gifts (the pinnacle of which was when Mike decided to wrap up his own hand and present me with a friendly handshake), so when I came across this brilliantly titled little B-movie in the bargain bin at Blockbusters, I couldn’t resist sticking it under the tree (I think that was also the year of Lepechaun in the Hood…). Never could I have imagined that this would end up being the most important addition to my yearly yuletide schedule.
In no way related to the charming Michael Keaton romp of the same name, this is actually a sequel to the godawful 1997 horror movie Jack Frost, in which a deranged serial killer is resurrected as a snowman and wreaks havoc on the small mountain community of Snowmonton. The film takes itself far too seriously, and to be honest, I wish that intrigue had not overwhelmed me, as JF2 works a lot better without having seen the first. Though the infamous shower scene is brilliant.
Jack Frost 2 is utterly ridiculous. But, more importantly, it knows it. And that is exactly what makes it such damn good fun.
Sherriff Sam (Christopher Allport), still reeling from the events of the previous year’s massacre, decides to take wife Anne (Eileen Seeley) far from the white Christmas of Snowmonton, to the sunny shores of the most generic tropical island in the world. But of course, due to a freak accident at a science lab, his old buddy Jack has been resurrected, and follows Sam in search of revenge.
Cue a collection of odd-ball characters, hilariously cringey one-liners and the most blatant product placement for Asahi you’ll ever see, all wrapped up in a bloody (and bloody ridiculous) story that despite its self-deprecation, actually comes out a hundred times better than ninety percent of horror movies out there.
There are better films. And indeed there are many that I still have to watch every year; Muppet Christmas Carol, Die Hard, Nightmare Before Christmas and, I’ll admit, Love Actually, but Jack Frost 2 is always the highlight of my festive season, and introducing the madness to new friends and family members each year as you crack open a case of Asahi is always a delight.
Oh, and how does Jack eventually get thwarted?
Just freakin’ watch it.
Merry Christmas from all of us here at VultureHound.