WWE Raw

The Raw Review – 7th November 2016

Welcome to the most must-see Vulture Hound weekly review in history; welcome to… The Raw Review

Doing the rounds in the UK at the moment, Monday Night Raw found it’s way to Glasgow for this weeks televised event. Opening the show was Stephanie Queen of Scots and joining her in the ring was the four announced members of the Raw team for the men’s Survivor Series 5v5 match: Roman Reigns, Kevin Owens, Braun Strowman and Chris Jericho. It was then no surprise to any of us as Stephanie then announced the final member of the team would be Seth Rollins. I mean, if she didn’t pick him then there would be serious question marks above her pretty little head. Following that “shock” announcement Steph then went on to reveal the nights main event: a Fatal Five-Way match consisting of all five team members. So, just when you thought they were all on the same side Steph throws a main event sized spanner in the works.

The first match of the night saw the Cruiserweights in tag team action. Sinful Cara and Richard Swann teamed up against THE Brian Kendrick and debuting Noam Dar. On his home soil (if we’re not including Israel) Dar received a huge pop from the Glaswegian crowd but unfortunately didn’t pick up his first win as Swann pinned Kendrick for the victory. This resulted in Kendrick blaming Dar for the loss and, in response (and rightly so), Dar kicked Kendricks pirate ass in front of the baying audience.

Nice to see Kendrick is a fan of children's book series, Funny Bones
Nice to see Kendrick is a fan of children’s book series, Funny Bones

CC’d into this weeks memo, Raw’s tag team-team for the Survivor Series 10v10 match was announced. The New Day, Gallows and Anderson, Enzo Amore and Big Cass, Golden Truth, and Cesaro and Sheamus were told they would be teaming up on 20th November to take on Smackdowns best tag teams. Those clever people at WWE Creative realised they have to somehow still make it seem as though these “teammates” dislike each other and decided to allow Gallows and Anderson to continue with their “we don’t need no one but ourselves” attitude. That would be all well and true as long as they didn’t use a double negative. This feud, that has been flip-flopping results more than your sti screenings, saw Gallows and Anderson “beat up” the Braveheart-dressed, New Day, and hit Big E with a Magic Killer to score the victory in a non-title match. Part of me hopes Smackdown wins the tag team 10v10 just so the former IWGP Tag Team Champions get drafted to the blue brand to dominate the likes of Breezango instead.

Big E-lliam Wallace and co
Big E-lliam Wallace and co

Following the match, a backstage segment between R-Truth and Goldust, revealed that Truth traded their place in the Survivor Series team for a timeshare supplied by the Shining Star’s nonexistent travel company. Goldust challenged The Shining Stars to a match in order to reclaim their spot. Not that anyone cares but The Shining Stars kept their places in the team by rolling up Goldust and pinning him with the support of the ropes. Yawn.

Identically to the tag and men’s teams the women’s team for Survivor Series was announced. Well, just when we thought Dana Brooke was the final member of the team it was down to Maggle Cole to tell us it is in fact Sasha Banks that is the final member… Shocker! Realising they now had 6 women in the ring the organising committee or whatever decided this was the right opportunity to give us a match we have never seen before. A 6 Women tag team match with Bayley, Sasha Banks and Alicia Fox defeating Queen Flair, King Jax and Jester Brooke was the best they could come up with. Bayley hit the champ, Charlotte, with a Bayley-to-Belly to win the match for the good girl team.

Michael Cole increasing the oestrogen levels in the ring
Michael Cole increasing the oestrogen levels in the ring

Sami Zayn went one on one with Rusev for the chance to face Dolph Ziggler for his Intercontinental Championship at Survivor Series. A great match between the former NXT stars gave way for Zayn to eventually pick up the victory after a Helluva Kick smashed Rusev right in the mutton chops.

As previously mentioned the nights main event was a Fatal Five-Way match. Strowman, who looked dominating throughout was eventually put down by a Superman Punch by Roman Reigns. Hardly surprising it was the Samoan that was given the honour to do and in the process ensuring poor Braun has been buried faster than your moms best marital aid. Yes, that’s a very old fashioned term but this is a PG show we’re reviewing after all. Speaking of things that get me going, it was Kevin Owens who eventually scored the victory after Reigns again hit a Superman Punch, this time on Owens which inadvertently resulted in the Champ landing on top of his best friend, Chris Jericho, for the pinfall victory.

I'm sure they're still firm best friends
I’m sure they’re still firm best friends

So, there you have it. Less than two weeks before Survivor Series it seems as though the Raw camp are all disconnected with one another but you can bet my life savings (zero dimes) that the red brand will still come out the strongest. Look out for the Smackdown Live! Recap to see Elliot Dysons pathetic attempt at claiming Smackdown have any chance at Survivor Series.

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