iMPACT Testing – October 13th, 2016

Before we get into this week’s episode of Impact, we have to touch on the nuclear cluster f**k that is TNA’s legal woes. We have Billy Corgan taking them to court over the lies and botch fest that Dixie Carter has made of the company, the state of Tennessee is hot on their tales and the man who produces the Impact music has pulled some of the wrestler’s music from the show. It’s almost like watching WWE in the eighties; maybe the cockroach will die after all.

In a nutshell, Billy Corgan has filed a lawsuit against TNA, the state of Tennessee are after unpaid taxes, the Fight Network is owed money which evidently owns part of TNA’s video library and last but not least Aroluxe, who funded prior television tapings is owed an estimated $3.4 million. Who in the right mind would buy this blivet?!

With that being said let’s get into the highs and lows that were Impact this week, shall we?

The show opens up with Eddie Edwards addressing the Impact Zone after his World Championship wins over Lashley last week. Low and behold Lashley would come out and spear’s Edwards and demand his automatic rematch. Backstage the Tribunal are taking to Corgan’s henchman Aiden O’Shea who tells them that they’re on the bubble and that they need to get their act together. The Tribunal response by angrily speaking French as O’Shea walks away. One segment was forgettable while the other had me chuckle, take a guess as to which on is which.

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Aron Rex is walking to the ring looking like he hates life; he has to defend his Grand Championship against Jesse Godderz who was a standout during the tournament using an amateur style. The story of the match is that Godderz completely owns Rex during the first two rounds and is up 2-0. What does Rex do next? He runs the clock walking around outside; that’s how you look like an idiot! Godderz is sent outside and on his way back in Rex delivers a cheap shot and follows up with a spinning elbow for the win, the crowd reacts by sitting on their hands, and Jesse Godderz who has been fun to watch in these recent Grand Championship matches ends up looking like a chump. Good stuff…

Backstage the Broken Hardy’s usher us into the “Broken Era,” Jeff says that he has repaid his brother then climbs a ladder only to be scolded by Broken Matt who tells him that he can only indulge in his addiction for one night only. They then come to the ring and compare themselves to the “Bucks of Youth” and the “Day of New” and how the Broken Hardys are on top of the tag team world. Jeff then sings Decay a farewell ditty, and suddenly Matt is sucking in more air then you tough was physically possible. Matt has had a very potent premonition! Tonight their next challengers will be named but it doesn’t matter, they’ll just delete them. The Tribunal then come out and attack the Hardy’s ending it by kick Brother Nero in his now broken balls, Brother Nero falls to the ground and says “not again” and the Tribunal exit after leaving their mark. All in all a good segment, little videos then the foreigners angrily speaking in a different language is fine by me.

Up next is Mike Bennett taking on Cody, before we got the match we are treated to a great promo video between the two where Cody looked like a million bucks. The match wasn’t anything special, good all around but just another match. Bennett would hit a pedigree on Cody part ways through the match as a sort of a f**k you but quickly succumb to Cody when he hits the Beautiful Disaster and gets the win.

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We got an X-Division Championship match with DJZ defending against Marshe Rocket who in my opinion doesn’t belong anywhere near the X-Division, either way, DJZ wins with the DDZ. We’re then shown Allie reading an email that states that Mike Bennett is barred from ringside when Maria challenges Gail Kim for the Knockouts title where if she loses this match she will no longer be the leader of the Knockouts division; God damn, they must be trying to run me off. The two fight with kendo sticks, cookie sheets, and laundry baskets but the match ends with an Eat Defeat onto a trash can lid to retain the Knockouts title, and Maria Bennett is no longer in control over the Knockouts division. Thank god that’s over.

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On the plus side, an NWO-like interference vignette is shown cutting off Josh Matthews, three people sitting at a table in suits wearing white masks are here to take a stand and before we know it they’re gone. In one frame of the video this pops up:

“The thing that we need in the world today is a group of men and women who will stand up for the right and to be opposed to wrong, wherever it is. A group of people who have come to see that some things are wrong, whether they’re never caught up with. And some things are right, whether nobody sees you doing them or not.”

– Martin Luther King

I like a mystery as long as these three don’t just become a shield rip off which I’m not entirely convinced this isn’t.

Our main event is upon us when EC3 takes on Moose in what would be a back and forth match. The stipulation to this match says that whoever would take on Bobby Lashley next week where the winner of that match will take on the winner of Eddie Edwards and Cody Rhodes which will also take place next week. They’re definitely not taking the simple approach that for sure. Moose would end up getting the win in an okay match, and the show goes off the air with Lashley and Moose staring each other down.

Overall this episode was easily skippable so if you haven’t watched it do not waste your time.

1.5 out of 5

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