My Mad Fat Diary – Episode 5

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After what seemed like a turn-around last week, it’s business as usual in My Mad Fat Diary. Straight off Chop is ordering the gang “Don’t mention Friday to anyone”. Sadly, he’s not plotting to make the world forget the day exists, there’s gonna be a rave. While the exciting party is being described to a not very enthusiastic group, Rae’s busy imagining a fight scenario between her and Chloe. She even does the cheesy ‘in the red corner/in the blue corner’ thing.

Any fun plans could be ruined by Rae’s mum, who enters the pub with her new husband, Karim. Turns out, the idea of her daughter attending to a rave doesn’t fill her with joy (although she’s fine with underage drinking, apparently).

Then time for the ever popular ‘how much sex to burn calories’ game. As helpful as it may be for some people to discover just under an hour will burn off jammy Wagon Wheels, Rae is having this conversation with Tix. Tix looks 11. It’s really awkward to watch.

Rae gets a break from narrating to give Tix a go, turning it into My Mad Super Skinny Diary for a while. She wants to be more like Rae so she can have a life filled with boys. First, she’s got to be normal, which means she has to eat. She isn’t a fan of eating.

Back to Rae and the central theme of this episode- the rave. Obviously, there’s no better time to argue about it than when dress shopping. So, that’s when Rae and her mum decide to. Of course, her mum is being ridiculous not letting her go. If anything though, it’s impressive Rae can come up with any argument and expect to be taken seriously when she’s been shoved into a dress that- in her words- makes her look like a profiterole. It’s such an awful garment, it makes her vomit. OK, so mixing alcohol and medication is actually what made her sick but a nicer dress would probably have encouraged her to wait until she got home before she puked.

Rae’s not keen on giving up alcohol. The lustful look in her eyes when she watches her friends drink it suggests she’d rather give up oxygen. Time to drop the bombshell that she won’t be going to the rave.  And, with this news, the others announce they won’t be going either. Chloe takes it upon herself to warn her friend that she isn’t being cool enough, but this is interrupted by Finn inviting Rae to his house. Referring back to the ‘fight’ Rae thinks is going on between her and Chloe, see sees this as a victory in Round 1.

Rae’s smirk after winning ‘Round 1’ is extremely irritating because she’s winning against someone who doesn’t know she’s in a competition. It’s like when you’re walking with a friend and they suddenly run to a lamp post and declare they’ve won the race. Also, people stop doing that when they turn 10.

Back at home, Rae is asked to name one of Karim’s birds and, in protest of birds being kept in cages, she calls it Mandela. Subtle, Rae. Subtle.

Continuing the theme of scenes feeling like they were edited together by a 17 year old who didn’t feel they should flow (that was almost fixed last episode), it cuts back to Tix. She invites Danny to the lake with her, interrupting him as he puts on 3 hats at once. Rae’s and Tix’s stories squashed together in the hour means watching the episode is like switching between 2 channels because you can’t decide which show you’d rather watch. It’s not a sketch show, it definitely shouldn’t feel like one.

Flicking back to Rae, she’s arrived at Finn’s somehow “a little bit sexy” house. This girl truly seems to fancy anything. No chance of any romantic goings on though, Chloe’s there. Not to worry, Rae’s got a plan to make herself at least look a little cooler. Asking Chloe if she prefers Morrissey or the lead singer of The Smiths is effective as she doesn’t know they’re the same person. Such a shame then that she ruins it by puking. A cleverer person would have avoided booze and stopped that happening. Round 2 to Chloe…that she doesn’t know she’s won.

While Tix and Danny are at the lake, neither of them seem particularly bothered that it’s actually a small pond. Instead, Danny says he likes ducks. So much so he wants to see what it’s like to be one. For some strange reason, his date doesn’t share his enthusiasm to get into the pond. Even without shoes on.

Rae is busy being a complete and total idiot. She’s getting rid of her pills because that’s obviously a better idea than not drinking. A trip to see Dr. Gill doesn’t cheer her up, he also thinks she shouldn’t go to the rave. Nobody is allowed to speak sense, so she rubs it in his face that he also has personal issues. That’ll teach him to try to help people! But she opens up about why she hurt herself like he wanted her to. She was bored and had no mates.

How is a girl supposed to cope with feeling like all adults are against her having fun and moving on? Well, there’s no better way than to free your step-dad’s birds to the melody of Radiohead’s ‘Street Spirit’.

Liberating the birds wasn’t such a good idea, the garden is full of feathers and blood. This creates the issue of not knowing who to side with. Rae gets irrationally annoyed that her mother dared to be upset, but then her mum dealt with her grief by slapping her daughter in the face (also, she fled to Tunisia last week). To be fair, Rae’s decision to leave home after that was justifiable.

Tix throwing away some food down the toilets leads to a heart to heart with Dr. Gill, who is hiding from the world. Pressures of his job are piling up and he doesn’t seem to like making people trust other people so much (something about feeling like he’s torturing people). Tix trusts people, she trusts Rae. Given that earlier in the episode a dinner date was set up between her and Rae, and the latter decides going to the rave with Finn is a better use of her time, that’s a nice set up for disappointment.

The rave that has had such a build up throughout the episode doesn’t seem too extraordinary. Repetitive music, lasers and glowsticks. Oh, and drugs.

Tix is understandably upset that she’s been stood up. Really though, she shouldn’t be. Her friend is only busy getting high, wrecking her hearing and stopping the advances of a drug dealer. She’s also denying she likes Finn, meaning she has no right to be in any way annoyed when she sees Chloe basically eating his face later on.

That was enough to persuade her to go home. Even the journey back was eventful. Karim was spotted with another family, meaning mother and daughter may be as miserable as each other in the final episode next week. Back at the house, Rae receives a call about Tix. She collapsed and it’s serious. Everyone has to watch next week to see if it’s something related to the dinner date not going ahead or, more likely, the fact she hasn’t eaten.

Tix isn’t interesting enough to warrant being given half the episode, but at least they tried. I just hope next week they give some time to Izzy because, at the moment, she could win the award for the world’s most pointless and forgettable TV character.